My gaze drifted to her lips, caught by their fullness and how they seemed to invite me in. They were the most perfect shade, like soft pink skies before the golden hour of sunrise.
Her tongue flicked out and moistened them, and, for a moment, her hips brushed against mine—so subtle I almost missedit.
But I didn’t.
I wanted to kiss her so fucking badly.
Where on earth did that come from?
A familiar ping sounded through the TV—Matilda’s phone must still have been mirrored. We both looked up at the text notification.
Lily: Babe, you’ve needed to get laid for the past year.
That snapped me the fuck out of whatever trance I’d fallen into.
What was I thinking, joking around and laughing with Matilda as if we were anything more than professionals working together? Muddying the waters between us was a sure way of causing unnecessary drama.
I grabbed Matilda’s waist, lifted her to the side, and deposited her next to me. Pushing up from the hard floor, I rubbed the nape of my neck and stood.
What the fuck has gotten into me this evening?
There was a big difference between coming over to ensure Matilda didn’t tire herself out for tomorrow and having her face inches from mine.
She stood quickly, her smile replaced with the one she offered to everyone else. I wanted to rewind the last minute like the tapes and do it again, but I couldn’t and wouldn’t.
I would not cross that line with Matilda.
“I need to go.” The sliver of darkness from the early autumn evening slipping through the drawn curtains suggested it was too late for me to be there still.
“Why?” Her question hung in the air, catching me off guard. I had expected Matilda to accept my statement and wish me a good night.
While I’d been lost in my thoughts, Matilda had disconnected her phone from the TV and thrown it on to the sofa. She stood with her arms tightly folded across her chest, her expression a mix of determination and uncertainty, as if she couldn’t quite believe she’d asked, either.
“It’s late, and we have a busy day tomorrow.”Now look who’s lying.
“Is that the only reason?” She shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
I paused before answering. “No.”
We stared at each other for a long, weighted moment.
“But I do need togo.”
She lowered her chin in a slow nod, silently accepting.
Unable to tempt fate for a moment longer, I broke eye contact.
I quickly collected the empty containers and trash, dumping them into a bag that I would drop at the garbage cans on my way down. I focused on my movements instead of my thoughts.
Stealing another glance at her, I asked, “I’ll see you tomorrow at eleven?”
“Of course, I’ll see you then. Night, Luca.”
She trailed after me to the door, reached past me, and pulled it open gently.
As I climbed into bed later that evening, her tight-lipped smile was the last thing I saw before I fell asleep.
I called Lily as soonas Luca left that night, and she promised to come round the following morning before her class. Although I had a disturbed sleep filled with restless overthinking, I still couldn’t say what had happened that night felt wrong. Was it reckless given our current situation? Completely. But something about it had feltright.
