The phone slipped from my hand.
“Excuse me?” I asked, not comprehending what he was saying. He glanced up briefly, a weary exhalation leaving his lips.
“We need to rewatch the recording of today’s rehearsal, because it wasn’t perfect. I’m hungry. Two birds, one stone. We get dinner and watch the tape.”
My brain couldn’t catch up with his sudden change of heart. Silence from his producers must really have been getting to him. I’d had to all but beg him to watch the recordings the first time.
“Are you going to go to the bar?” He crossed his arms.
“I don’t want to, really,” I answered truthfully.
“Do you want to get food?”
“I am hungry…” I trailed off. “But sitting in a restaurant sounds equally exhausting.”
“That’s fine.” He nodded. “You go home, and I’ll grab food.” He stepped away from the car before pausing. “Anything particular?”
“I…I don’t mind.” His words swept over me, taking a few seconds to sinkin.
“OK, see you in a minute.” He pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket and stalked back to hiscar.
There was a gentle warmth in my chest, like a sigh of relief I hadn’t known I needed. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something had changed in Luca.
I settled on Chinese food.
I knew she’dsaidshe’d eat anything, but I didn’t want to risk wasting time by ordering food she didn’t like, so I quickly opened Instagram, found her profile, and scrolled through to see if she’d taken any pictures with food.
She hadn’t posted much, but she had shared a picture of herself and Lily at a fancy Chinese restaurant in London about a yearago.
I might have slowed my scrolling over the pictures of Matilda at the beach.
Going out alone in public was risky, but I hoped that if everyone was going into the city that night, the press would be distracted by them—or assume we were going, too. I also swapped cars regularly so I couldn’t be tailed, and I always carried a cap and glasses in the glove compartment, just in case. It wasn’t foolproof, but better than nothing.
I didn’t like going out, but as we’d been walking to our cars, Matilda’s steps had slowed to a sluggish pace, her shoulders rounding. A heavy weight had settled in my chest at the slight darkness under her eyes that hadn’t been there at the start of the season.Sometimes, I forgot that when I went home for the evening, she had to plan our sessions and choreography alongside her other responsibilities.
I couldn’t believe she was even debating going out, especially given that we had the live show tomorrow.
But suggesting I go to her house for dinner? That was absurd, even by old-me standards. On the other hand, I didn’t want her going out to the bar and making herself even more tired for tomorrow’s show.
Exactly,I told myself.Offering to have dinner together isjusta way to ensure she’s well rested for opening night. Definitely not because you’re finally coming around to the idea that you might want to spend more time withher.
Matilda made me want to laugh again, to actually live instead of just drifting aimlessly through each day. Her happiness and kindness had snuck up on me, dragging me along whether I liked it ornot.
Somehow, I collected the takeout without crossing another human besides the old lady behind the counter, who just handed me my order, gave me a free bag of prawn crackers, and sent me on myway.
I parked in the private underground parking lot—finding some reassurance in the level of security. I still wore the cap and thick-rimmed glasses, just in case I passed someone in the building. I caught the lift to Matilda’s floor, headed down the dark, chic hallway, and knocked on her door.
It swung open, revealing a very comfortable-looking Matilda.
I was getting sick of seeing her long, curvy legs twenty-four-fucking-seven, and I had to stop myself from drooling at her tiny pajama-party outfit: pink floaty shorts and a tight, long-sleeved pajama top. Her hair was damp and loose around her shoulders, and little fluffy socks covered her feet.
“Come in.” She ushered me inside. “Why are you just standingthere? Come on.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me in. “Nice disguise, by the way.” She winked over her shoulder as I took the cap and glassesoff.
The apartment was warm, cast in a soft light from the lamps around the room. I hadn’t paid too much attention the last time I’d turned up unannounced, too distracted by trying to fix the mess I’d made.
“Sorry for the wet hair. I got back from my neighbor’s about fifteen minutes ago. She’d dropped her dinner on the floor,” she explained as she fluttered around the room.
The apartment was open-plan with a joint kitchen-and-living-room area. Throws, pillows, and rugs decorated the space, making it soft and feminine. She hurried to the small kitchen island separating the spaces, gesturing for me to join her. Two plates and cutlery were already waiting.
