Damn it. What had I done? It was fine. I could fix this.
Rocco came out and I ordered a beer and a cider. He handed me the bottles and I paid, then took them to our table.
Just friends, Theo. We’re just friends.
I sat and we both took a drink. We needed something to talk about—other than Sean. Or the fact that her mouth felt like—
“How’s your grandma?” I asked, cutting off my own thoughts.
“She’s fine. She likes to feed the squirrels, so we did that. Then had dinner. Luckily, the food there is good.”
“How long has she lived there?”
“About five years. The nice thing is, it was her choice. She can still live independently, but she doesn’t have to cook unless shewants to. There’s medical help if she needs it. And activities to keep her busy.”
“It’s nice that you can visit her so often. I’m sure she appreciates that.”
“Yeah, we only have each other. It was one of the reasons I wanted to move to Tilikum. I was in Pinecrest before, which isn’t far, but it’s nice to be able to pop over more easily.”
“Sucks that you aren’t closer with the rest of your family. Especially your parents. Do you have any contact with them?”
“A little. I usually get a call on my birthday and around the holidays. That’s about it.”
I shook my head. “Damn. Sorry for bringing up a crappy subject.”
“No, it’s okay. The good part about all of it was Grandma. My grandpa passed when I was a teenager, so I moved in with her when I was in college. It worked out great for both of us. After that, I got a teaching job in Wenatchee. That wasn’t bad. I could still visit. But it made me realize I wanted to settle down here, so I could be as close to her as possible.”
I nodded along as she talked. I certainly understood being close to your family. I was still struggling with the reality of leaving mine.
But another thought occurred to me. Penelope probably wouldn’t leave Tilikum.
Maybe it would be an option once her grandma had passed on. But then again, maybe not. She’d worked hard and been patient for a long time before finally getting her job at Tilikum High School. This place meant something to her, as did being close to her grandma.
Not that I was thinking about asking her to come to South Carolina with me. That would have been a girlfriend conversation, not a friend conversation. Not even a work-besties-turned-roommates conversation.
But the realization that it wouldn’t be an option, no matter what, kind of hurt.
Which was stupid. Just because I’d fake kissed her didn’t mean anything had changed. And it definitely didn’t mean we were more than friends.
“It’s nice that you’re so close with your family,” she said. “I see them at the games, and it seems like you spend a lot of time with them.”
“I think my parents invite me over a lot because they assume I’m lonely.”
“Because you’re single?”
I nodded. “Probably.”
“Can I ask you a weird question?”
I took a drink. “Sure.”
“Now I regret saying that. Never mind. I don’t need to ask you anything.”
“Well, now you have to ask me. What is it?”
“No, I’ll just make it awkward.”
“You’re not going to make it awkward. What do you want to know? I’ll tell you anything.”
