“You’re lucky I didn’t order the onesie version.”
She tucks the lighter in her pocket, a smile blooming. “Yeah, well, I think we both know it’s time for you to get off the couch, start writing again, and put the band back together. Chase was a big piece of it, but he wasn’t everything. You have too much talent to go to waste.”
My heart plummets at the mention of his name.
Maybe all five.
I pull the blanket up to my chin and set my jaw. “Morale is a bit low, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“Of course I’ve noticed. Jesus, Annalise, this destroyed us all. But it’s not the end. It’s not over. And if you keep living like it is, you’ll never startlivingagain.”
I swallow. “I don’t think I’m ready for your unsolicited wisdom yet.”
“I don’t care. I love you too much to watch you become a shadow of everything you are. It hurts me. It hurts Tag. It hurts your limitless potential.” Blowing out a breath, she strolls over to me in an oversize sage sweater and earthy brown leggings. “I’m pissed at Chase. I’m so mad at him for breaking your heart. But you know what? I respect him too. It took guts to walk away for the greater good. Because he would rather leave than treat you any less than you deserve.”
A bitter sting presses behind my eyes.
The kind that comes too fast, too sudden.
I tear off the blanket, shooting to my feet. “No. We’re not having this conversation again.”
“I just don’t want to see history repeat itself. I’ve watched you lose yourself before. With Alex. You gave and gave, until there was nothing left.”
“Don’t, Kenna. I love you, but don’t. This is not the same.” I shake my head, hard and fast. “I’ve done a lot of soul-searching these past few months. And I finally see it for what it was. With Alex, I was surviving. Every day was about making it through, not about being happy. I convinced myself that was love, but it wasn’t. Love doesn’t drain you until you’re empty. Love gives back. Love makes you more.”
I drag in a ragged breath, pressing a hand to my chest. “And Chase…he was always the one reminding me I was enough. Every time I broke, he was there to catch me. Every time I slipped into the dark, he pulled me back into the light. Even when we stumbled, I never questioned it. He never made me feel like I owed him anything.”
Kenna watches me, her eyes wide and glassy, lips quivering.
“That’s the difference,” I say, voice cracking. “Alex hollowed me out until there was nothing left but fear. Chase filled me back in. Piece by piece, note by note, until I could finally see myself again. And I won’t confuse survival with love ever again. I won’t confuse fear with devotion. Chase isn’t Alex. Not then, not now, not ever.”
My voice cuts off, leaving us in a chasm of silence.
Kenna swallows hard, her lashes wet as she blinks at me, taking it all in.
Tag wanders down the stairs from his bedroom, scratching the back of his head. He glances between us, taking in the scene, the dynamic, the tension in the air.
I fold my arms and look away.
“Hey,” he says tightly.
Kenna sits up, reaches for her purse. “I’m gonna go.”
“You can stay.” Tag moves into the living room in a white T-shirt and sweatpants. “I’m about to make steaks.”
“Nah. I’m in my vegan era for at least the next month.” Kenna pops up from the couch, her hands disappearing inside the sleeves of her sweater.
I’m a stone block in the middle of the room, quivering with feeling. Pain, grief, anger, uncertainty. I keep my eyes trained on the floor as Kenna approaches with caution.
“Annalise,” she whispers. “Hey. Look at me.”
My eyes lift. Shimmering with all that feeling.
She pulls me into a firm hug. “I love you. So much. And I hear you, okay? I know they’re not the same. I saw the differences too. I’m only trying to help you heal.”
I soften in her arms, nodding against her shoulder as I hug her back. “I know.”
“I’m sorry I upset you.”
