“You did.” My voice unravels into threads of sadness. “You did.”
“No.” He whips around, grabs his hair with both hands. His knees buckle slightly, and he presses against the side of the couch like the floor might give out under him. “I would never hurt you. Not on purpose. I swear to God—”
“But that doesn’t make it okay. That doesn’t mean I’m not scared sometimes.”
He turns slowly, eyes wild and bloodshot. “I’m not a monster.”
There’s no such thing, Annalise. Monsters aren’t real.
But they are.
And they aren’t always witches and warlocks with sharp teeth and pointy claws.
Sometimes we create our own.
My jaw trembles. “I can’t do this anymore, Alex. I can’t be this person.”
He stares at me, shell-shocked, stripped bare and hardly breathing. “So that’s it? You’re just…done?”
“I can’t keep living like this. I feel like I’m being torn in two. I’m evolving, and you’re—”
“You said we were forever. You promised.”
More guilt sears through me. “I know. And I meant it. God, I meant it with everything in me. But forever isn’t supposed to feel like a cage. I’m not nine anymore. And neither are you.”
His breathing turns shallow, uneven. “What about Thailand?”
He flinches as he says it, the memory now a wound.
I curl my hands, my fingers shaking.
“The lagoons, the monkeys, all that street food you wanted to try.” He pulls up from the couch and winds back toward me. “We had a plan. We can still go. Maybe if we got out of here, cleared our heads, we can find our way back to each other. We can fix what’s broken.”
I press a fist to my mouth, a sob caught in my throat. “A vacation isn’t going to change anything. It’s an escape, not a fix.”
“It is. It will be. I can fix this.” His desperation is raw now, his body movingwithout thought as he reaches me, hands gripping my shoulders. “I’ll book that therapy appointment if that’s what you want. I’ll make the call. Tomorrow morning.”
“It’s too late,” I murmur.
“No. It’s not. I can’t lose you.” His voice cracks, reality setting in. He stumbles forward, hands sliding down my arms until he’s clutching at my wrists. Then he sinks to the floor. His knees hit the carpet with a thud, his forehead pressing into my stomach. “Please, Annalise. Please don’t do this to me. I can’t breathe without you. I don’t exist without you.”
Tears streak his face, wetting my shirt as he buries himself against me.
My resolve waffles.
Regret, sadness, conviction, and terror, all twisting into something that makes me paralyzed.
I don’t know what to feel, what to do.
His arms cinch tight around my waist like a vise. “You’re everything. My reason, my anchor. You’re all I have. You can’t take that away. Don’t punish me. Don’t leave me.”
I try to step back, but he clings harder, his nails digging into the fabric at my hips.
His voice is hoarse, guttural, like I’m tearing him apart. “I’ll do anything. I’ll give you space, I’ll go to therapy every damn day. You want a new life? I’ll build it for you. Just don’t walk away. Please. I know you still love me.”
My arms hang limp at my sides as I tremble in place. “I…I think I have to love myself more.”
It’s not a lie.
