“Are we dating?” I blurt.
He meets my eyes, anger melting away and that smug, infuriatingly hot amusement returning. “We’ll get to that. First, want to explain why you decided to hide from me after I gave you the best kiss of your life?”
Thearrogance. “It wasn’t even top ten.”
He only credits that lie with a derisive snort. “Answer the question.”
I swallow. Stare at the walls, the floors, the lights on the ceiling—anything to avoid looking at him. “Um… it’s kind of a long story.”
“We have all night.”
“It’s alsopersonal.”
“Victoria, I intend to get veryfuckingpersonalwith you shortly. If you don’t want to explain, then you’re wasting both of our time. You don’t need to bare your heart, but I need to understand so I can stop being mad about it.”
I finally catch his eyes with my own. The innuendo on the wordpersonalsends a rush of tingles coursing through my body, but the rest of his statement makes me realize that he was never really mad—he washurt.There’s a very fine difference between the two.
“I’m sorry about that,” I say softly.
“Don’t do it again.” His jaw ticks. “Please.”
“It wasn’t because I don’t like you. Or want you.” I’m hurtling into foot-in-mouth territory, and I can’t seem to stop. “Things like this scare me.”
Asher’s harsh expression softens by the tiniest margin at that. “Why?”
I shrug. “Garden variety issues, I guess. I’ve always been second-best, and usually, that’s fine with me because I still make things work. It sucks, but it’s okay.” I glance down at the table. “I don’t think I’d be okay with being second best with you.”
“Youaren’tsecond best.” He sounds exasperated, almost annoyed. “You’re all I can fuckingthinkabout. That puts you about as far from second best as possible.”
You’re all I can think about. A rush of power lights me up like a Christmas tree. Knowing that I live rent-free in Asher’s mind, just like he does in mine, is a heady sensation. And, still, kernels of doubt keep me from doing something about it. “I could just be a novelty—”
“Don’t insult me. I’ve had plenty of brief affairs with novelty-women all around the world. None of them were front and center in my thoughts. None of them were the first thing I thought of when I woke up and the last when I went to sleep.” He swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing. “None of them gave mehope.”
“That could be it—I’m giving you hope for your career.”
“Stop doing my thinking for me. Yes, we work together in a professional capacity, and you are extremely valuable to me in that sense. You areequallyas valuable to mepersonally. I can differentiate the two.”
He’s saying all the right things. But he’s also known as an asshole, a player, and an overall menace to be around.
But he hasn’t been quite so much of a menace to me lately. Even after the maintenance room incident. He’s been a jerk, yes, but a more restrained one. Less cruel.
“You’re not nice to me,” I point out.
“I’m nicerto you than I am to everyone else.” When I arch an eyebrow, he sighs. “I’ll work on it.”
“What do you want out of this, exactly?” I ask. “Are you looking for… a relationship? Or just something casual?”
“No to casual. And I would not be good at sharing you, so exclusivity.” He scratches the back of his head, frowning. “From there… we’ll see.”
“Okay,” I breathe, trying not to let on just how much I’m freaking out. “Can you repeat that whilenotsounding angry so I can let myself believe it?”
“Iampissed about it,” he snaps. “I don’t get like this.Ever. I don’t think about women. I don’t fuckingobsessover them. So, yes, I’m pissed off with myself, because you’re turning me inside out—and I don’t even want to stop it.” By the end of his rant, he sounds more sullen than frustrated. “I can’t stop thinking about you, and it sucks. But what’s even worse is that I wouldn’t stop even if I could. So, I want to date you.Exclusively. I want to get to know you more. I want to find out what makes you tick, find every sensitive spot on your body, and make you scream. I want dinner, and dates, and even fucking heart-to-hearts.” He sounds like he’s mad at himself but also resigned to his fate. “I don’t want to eventhinkabout,let alone see, you dating anyone else.That’swhat I want, Victoria.”
I gape at him.
“O-okay,” I stutter. “Uh… just give me a beat to process that.” And try not to spontaneously combust from the heat. My panties are damp, my nipples are hard, and I feel like someone I’m not—like a woman who might crawl over the table just to jump her object of desire.
A beatturns out to be several minutes. A waiter sets a gigantic pepperoni pizza on the table, but it goes completely ignored. My previous hunger has disappeared and gotten replaced with an entirely new kind of hunger. The sort that makes my entire body pulse with an unbearable ache.
