I yawn. “Is this your way of firing me?”
Ilya’s jaw flexes. “No,” he bites out. “Though your behavior right now is tempting me. There’s one other piece of good news. Something you absolutely donotdeserve, but you’ve had quite the lucky start to your season.”
I narrow my eyes. “Did I get a sponsor?”
“Yes, but that’s a topic to discuss with your manager,” Ilya says. “What you’re getting frommeis a new car.”
…what?
“Come again?” I repeat.
Ilya’s just berated my driving in the last race. I have not met the conditions he set forth for giving me an upgrade package. There is absolutely no reason he would have to do me this favor.
“Upgrade package,” he bites out. “It’s being worked on as we speak. You’ll have it by Montreal.”
I give my head a shake. Has my drinking spree led to hallucinations? It’s wildly implausible that Ilya would call me in here to tell me that, first, the man whose skull I want to crack has been publicly ousted from F1 for the season, and second, I’m getting my wish for a better car.
“Why?”
“Because you areextremely—fucking—lucky.” Ilya’s glare hardens even more. My mouth shuts with a click. It isn’t often that I hear Ilya swear. When I do, I have the good sense to shut the fuck up. “Someone on thisteam made great concessions to grant you what you’ve been after. Believe me when I say, nobody was more surprised than me.”
“Victoria?” I ask, stunned. I don’t know who else would fight for me to get a better car.
“Yes. And she’s the one who delivered the mockups to me.BeforeMiami, because she wasthatconfident that you’d keep to your end of our deal.”
But…why?Ulrich I understand; that wasbeforeour fight in the hotel room.
“Why thefuckwould she get me an upgrade package?” After how I treated her? After I cast her aside forEthan, who doesn’t know his ass from his elbow?
“I suppose that she sees something in you. As for what else, I expect you’ll be able to speculate much more successfully than me.”
You find a woman who accepts all of your endless flaws and your boorish behavior, and you push her away?
This woman wanted you and fought tooth and nail to help you. When a bleak moment comes, you discredit all of that and toss her aside like yesterday’s leftovers?
Gio’s words float through my mind, haunting me.
Victoria had—has—my back, even after how I’ve treated her. She didn’t just push for me to get the upgrade package. If what Ilya’s saying is true, shedesignedit in the first place,weeksago.
“I don’t know what happened between the two of you, and quite frankly, I don’t care so long as you keep it to yourself. But I will say that you are a complete and uttermoronfor whatever you did. She is one of the mostpromising pupils I’ve seen in F1, and she made sacrifices for the sake of a risky driver who, by the looks of it, broke her heart.”
My mouth runs dry, and a resounding, jarring ache seeps into my bloodstream, flowing deeper into my body with each beat of my heart.
Victoria’s still there for me, even after I made it clearIwouldn’t be there forher. When was the last time someone in my life had my back so completely? Showed up for me even when I didn’t show up for them? When, worse, Iridiculedthem?
What the fuck have I done?
I don’t realize I’ve said the words aloud until Ilya releases a sardonic laugh. “I don’t know and I don’t want to know. But whatever it is, I suggest you work hard toundo it, because you will not find another person who will go to such lengths for you. Especially given you continue to be an insufferabledick.”
I feel like I’ve been called to the principal’s office for being bad in class.Knowingdeep down that I fucked up is one thing; having it laid out for me so plainly, so succinctly… it cuts me in half.
Ilya and I have never been particularly close. I see him as competent, capable, and I think Gaston is below his paygrade. I suspect he sees me as a waste of talent—or that’s how hesawme until this season.
“I…” A flash of ice-cold terror skitters up my spine. “I don’tknow if I can.”
“Then that is a true shame.” Ilya pointedly turns to his computer monitor. “You had a prodigy in your hands. One who is obviously head over heels in love with you.”
“What?”
