Asher is choosing someone else over me, when I’ve worked the hardest and done the most.
Now that you’re old enough, you should know… Reynard hasn’t left you anything. He’s prioritized his other children.
I’m sorry, but your scholarship was redelegated to a much more promising student.
We actually ended up going with another, more promising intern, but we’re still interested in your algorithm.
And now…I’m going back to Ethan.
The cycle is repeating itselfagain, only now, it’s so much worse because this is personal. Because I’ve given Asher pieces of myself that I kept shielded from everyone else, and I let myself truly, fully hope.
Tears sting my eyes, and an unbearable burn lodges a lump in my throat.
I won’t let him see me cry.I might be devastated, but I still have my pride.
“Got it.” My voice cracks over the words, no matter how I try to control it. The sting in my eye intensifies. “I’ll let leadership know.”
Something crosses Asher’s face. A flicker of clarity or sadness, I’m not sure. I don’tcareto know anymore.
I turn and flee before I can make a fool out of myself, and manage to trap my sobs until I’m in the quiet safety of my room.
Chapter Forty-Six
Asher
My regression back to Old Asher is swift, succinct, yet somehow…wrong. Like I’m slipping into clothes that I wore when I was a chubby teenager—they’re a slightly loose fit, but not quite as comfortable as they once were. They just happen to be the first thing I get my hands on.
I ghost my manager again, and Gio. I don’t go into HQ for a week after we’re back. I don’t do anything but drink, and eat junk food, and think abouther.
I can’t forget the look of stark, raw agony on Victoria’s face, or the tears that swam in her eyes. I’m not sure who I hated more in that moment; myself, or her. Iamsure that I’ll drink myself to an early grave if I can’t manage to forget her soon.
And Ineedto forget her. I need to move the fuck on with my life. Having a relationship with an amazing woman was a passing fever-dream that’s simply not realistic for someone like me. I’m not built for longevity.
If I didn’t leave her, she would’ve left me first eventually. It’s better this way, really.
On my fifth day of moping like an imbecile, a shrill ringing of my phone pulls me out of a half-asleep state. I have no idea what time it is, but I’m sprawled over my sofa. Empty bottles of liquor litter the coffee table, the kitchen counter, even the floor.
The ringing sounds again. I realize it’s coming from my phone, which is buried between couch cushions. I pull it out, squinting groggily at the Caller ID.
Why the fuck is Grant calling me?
I let it go to voicemail. Two seconds later, it starts ringing again.Didn’t I have it set to Do Not Disturb?
“What?” I growl, picking up.
There’s a slight pause. “Jesus, you sound like shit. I haven’t heard you like this since you called me from a jail cell your junior year.”
Will heneverforget that? I got in a barfight in a country that doesn’t condone violence,once. I only called him because I needed that shit to stay quiet, or I would’ve been fucking disowned by our grandparents.
“If you don’t have a point, I’ll be going now,” I intone coolly.
“Our grandparents are my point,” Grant replies flatly. “They’ve been blowing up my phone, asking about you for a week.”
I frown. “I told them I’m fine.”
“You messaged them that you’re alive when you got out of the hospital, and haven’t picked up their calls.”
“My phone’s been on silent.” I squint. “How the fuck didyouget through?”
