“I disagree.”
“God, you don’t understand. Marissa, I’ve missed you so damn much. I’ve laid awake so many nights wondering what my life would’ve been like if I’d stayed here.” When he made love to other women, he imagined Marissa beneath him or above him, panting his name. When the nightmares of blood and gore faded, he dreamed of her. Those bittersweet memories andwhat ifscenarios were almost worse than the nightmares. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of.”
“I hated you after you left, but I’ve gotten over it. Everyone feels regret and guilt over something. It’s all about being human.” She dashed away her tears. “I told you mine last night. Will you please show me the same courtesy?”
“I can’t.”
“At least tell me what you did last Christmas. Jason made it crystal clear that he didn’t want you alone. He wants you to have a tree.” She pointed at the Douglas fir. “Well, there you go. What did you do last year?”
Jarrett licked his dry lips, heat swelling in his cheeks.
He’d joined the Consuelo gang last December and spent the holiday in a slummy apartment with five thugs who sold cocaine on the streets of Albuquerque. Living around his drug of choice had nearly destroyed him.
“What about your last birthday?” Marissa blocked his path and braced her hands on her hips. “Did you have cake or go out with a bunch of buddies and get drunk? Did something horrible happen? Why won’t you tell me anything?”
He shoved a hand through his hair. “Damn it, Marissa. Yeah, I got drunk. A few of us went to a strip club where I fucked two dancers in a backroom. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
Her eyes widened as she stepped back.
Way to go, you fucking idiot.He brushed his shaky hands on his button-down shirt to steady them. “Marissa—”
She strode past him with a high head and left the room.
Her cold shoulder skewered him, but he didn’t deserve better.
Chapter Six
Marissa tossed andturned in bed. How could she fall asleep with Jarrett in the next room? A few beams, insulation, and drywall separated them, but his harsh words had thrown up a barricade around her heart. She shouldn’t be jealous of his past lovers, but didn’t he want more than meaningless flings? Didn’t he want a wife or family?
A strange noise rumbled from somewhere in the house. She closed her eyes and breathed deep, soothing her racing heart. The wind rattled the house and the old drainpipe outside her window. Had she imagined the—no, there! The noise resounded again. A moan, perhaps? She headed toward Jason’s bedroom until the rough, guttural groan pivoted her back down the hall to the guestroom. Should she invade his privacy? As he moaned again, she opened the door just enough to slip inside and closed it behind her.
Jarrett shivered under the twisted blankets and swiped out his arm in a defensive motion. The faint light cutting between the slats of the blinds gleamed off his sweaty chest and arms.
“Shh. It’s all right. Wake up.” She grasped his shoulder and lightly shook him. His strong hand grabbed her wrist and yanked her across the bed. Oomph! Air rushed from her lungs. Something silver flashed in the light. Oh my God. Her heart slammed against her ribs. She peered up at Jarrett as he pressed a knife to her throat and straddled her. Savagery darkened his brown eyes nearly black. The words on her tongue died with the cold metal blade against her windpipe.
Jarrett blinked. His eyes narrowed, then widened. He leapt away from her and dropped the knife.
