“Hands to yourself. That’s my baby sister.”
Iker reappeared from the woods, saying something softly to Celis before climbing into the saddle of Glory, then reachingdown to hoist Celis up behind him. She settled easily, already seeming lighter.
I hopped up on the new horse, a gray mare apparently named Stratus. My brother was nothing if not consistent. Lierick climbed up behind me, settling me almost into his lap as he gripped the reins.
We set out west, away from Rewill. Away from the home I knew deep in my soul that I’d never see again.
Four
Lierick
Iker wasn’t speaking to me. I understood his objection, but our mission was important and it relied on secrecy. Avalon, with her empathy, had taken the hard decision out of my hands, and I thought perhaps she’d gained more of Iker’s loyalty, separate to his devotion to me and the Second Line. He was fond of our little rescues, and how could he not be? They were so strong in the face of the absolute horrors they’d faced.
Flashes of the memories I’d removed from Celis surged up, and I stuffed them back down into the dark little box where I’d pretend that people like Yaron Vylan and the others on that boat didn’t exist. That poor girl had been through something so depraved, it still made me feel ill—how could Iker not see that it was a blessing to offer this small relief?
His words, although shouted in my head and not out loud, still stung. He’d called me a hypocrite, and perhaps he was right. I’d declared Celis and Powell a threat to our revolution, but I was out here making moon eyes at an actual Heir to the First Line, fucking his girlfriend, and wishing I was fucking him too.
And in the last reset, the one I’d just read inAFuture History of Ebrus,when Avalon had been attacked, I’d made the wrong decision. A decision that had proved Iker’s words correct.I’d thrown away our mission when I’d been forced to choose between saving Vox, or doubling back to fight at the side of Avalon. I’d chosen a Vylan, and that made me a traitor to my own Line.
I didn’t know what past-me was thinking. I couldn’t know my reasoning, or whether I’d been doubling back, or anything other than what Avalon saw with her own two eyes. And what she saw, and thus what was recorded, was me riding away with my mortal enemy and dooming my Line—and Ebrus—forever.
As she rested against my chest, I couldn’t fathom choosing between them, but now I knew it would be my downfall. Ineededto choose, before a moment of desperation chose for me.
Avalon sighed against my chest. “I wish I could read your mind, the way you can read mine.”
Holding the reins in one hand, I held her close with the other. “I don’t read your mind anymore, unless you want me to, that is. You deserve the privacy of your thoughts.”
She gave me a lopsided grin.“I’m not sure I could be that noble. If I could see what you, or Hayle, or Vox, were thinking, it would make my life so much easier.” Her fingers threaded between mine where they rested on her stomach. “What’s wrong? You’ve been all but vibrating with tension since we left camp.”
We were deep in the woods, following along behind Kian. We’d decided it was best to avoid the roads where possible, and Kian said he knew every inch of these woods like the streets of his home. I believed him. There was something steadfast about the eldest Halhed Heir.
I kissed the crown of her head, breathing in her soft scent. “It’s nothing.”
There was no need to see her face; I could tell she was rolling her eyes at me. “It’s obviously something, Lierick. Is it your fight with Iker?”
Stubborn.“Some of it, yes.”
She turned her head to look up at me. She was so beautiful, it hurt to think any version of me would leave her in the hands of Feodore Vylan. “And the rest of it?”
Stroking my thumb over her stomach slowly, I sighed. “I left you.”
Her brows knitted together, and I saw the exact moment she connected the dots. “Before the reset.” I just nodded. “Vox was dying. Itoldyou to go.”
I pressed her closer, like I could subsume her into my body and keep her safe. “And then you nearly died at the hands of Feodore Vylan.”
She kissed my jaw. “You did exactly what I asked, Lierick. If you’d ignored me, and then I had to watch Vox slowly die in front of me, either at the hands of his father, or by the wounds already inflicted…” She trailed off, before sucking in a shuddering breath. “That would have been a pain worse than being shot in the heart. I’m not saying I would never have forgiven you, but it would’ve tainted our relationship forever, because without Vox, this world would be incomplete. You were protecting me the only way you could at that moment.”
“I chose him over you,” I ground out.
“You choseus.” She gripped my chin, pulling my face down until I was forced to look into her eyes. “That’s the choice I’d want you to make in every single lifetime. If there’s a choice between being captured with me, or saving yourself or someone else? You better not surrender, Lierick Hanovan, or there’ll be trouble.” She sounded so stern, it was almost adorable.
I turned my face to kiss her palm. “I make no promises, but I’ll take it under advisement.”
She huffed, but dropped it. We were silent for a little longer, our group spread out in a single file on the small path through the trees. Hayle was running with the hounds, seemingly so atease with himself. I respected that about Hayle. He knew who he was, what he wanted, who he loved. He had it all, and shared it so easily. He wouldn’t have chosen anyone over Avalon.
As if she could sense the direction of my thoughts, she nudged my thigh with her elbow, hard. “Stop it.”
I grunted a laugh. “Sorry, Avie.”
