He steps forward, placing his hands on my shoulders, his eyes softening in a way that only happens when he’s using his power to calm my spiraling emotions. “Listen, Ro. I know this is hard for you. I know it has to be hard to accept what Gaia has said to be true, but… the celestial prophecies never lie, man. Nora is the one. Why do you think our queen above has me tagging along with you day and night?” His lips curve up at the corners just slightly as his emotional manipulation continues to swirl and sparkle in golden rays around me, easing my anxiety ridden mind. “Someone will need to take your place as head Guardian and commander of the Dark Legion of warriors. You will be king soon. Your fated mate, your queen has risen.”
My weak, unsure smile comes out lopsided, but it’s the best I can offer him. He’s right. Nora is my fated mate and will be my queen when I choose to accept the crown in the Realm of Darkness. Fear holds me back from fully accepting the truth because I am terrified of losing her again. The moment I laid eyes on Nora it felt like a part of my soul had left my body, like it knew it must make more room for her soul within me. Every part of me screams that she’s my fated mate the same way it did for Mera, though Nora’s soul doesn’t seem to recognize me. I would sense it if it did. Telling her the truth would solidify the bond for us both and she wouldn’t be able to deny her soul of what it craves, what it was born to love, but I haven’t gathered the courage yet to tell her about us or celestials or any of it. Fuck, her human boyfriend will be a problem for us, I can feel it. He’s not going to let her go easily. I don’t blame him, but she is not his to claim.
“What if I don’t want to give up my position as commander of the army? I can do both.”
“No. You can’t. Your queen will need you by her side, not out here on the streets fighting demons while she rules the realm. Leave that to us lowly norms who weren’t birthed by royalty and destined to rule. He throws his huge, muscular arm over my shoulder, glancing over at me. “You will be a great king.”
“Sure. If you say so.” I push his arm off me. “If you’re to learn how to be head guardian and commander, then we should keep practicing.”
“It’ll be an honor and a privilege to replace you, my king.” He bows his head low, crossing one ankle behind the other in a sort of curtsey that has me rolling my eyes and shaking my head.
I sigh heavily, stopping and gazing into the heavens, up to the gods and goddesses hidden away on Mount Othrys or wherever the hell they are, begging for them to look past Mio’s bullshit to see him for who he truly is. A damned good leader and the most trustworthy celestial I know. There’s no one who’d be better for this role than him.
“Tapping in on the future celestials emotions here on Earth isn’t easy. It takes a lot of concentration and patience to focus on only one of them when there are so many. You’ll fail many times while learning to block out all but the one you’re assigned to. Once you hone in and sharpen your skills, it’s easy. Sometimes, in cases like Nora, where depression and grief have taken over their every waking and sleeping thought, it hurts.” I shoot him a quick, comforting smile, slapping him on the back. “Luckily for you, you’re the master of emotional manipulation. It’ll hurt much less if you use that to your advantage on either them or yourself."
He nods. “In cases like those, I’ve learned, it’s nearly impossible to help them. Even my power can’t fix the kind of broken that comes from grief. Their hearts aren’t open to healing quite yet.” He strolls away, then leans his back against the brick wall of a coffee shop, crossing his arms over his chest. “You want me to check in on her? I can try, but you’re much better at connecting with her than I am.”
It’s not that I’m better at it, he simply doesn’t enjoy doing it. Her thoughts are dark, and her feelings are messy, and her pain has a way of clinging to you even after you disconnect. I get it.
Depression is a bitch. I wish I could take it away and absorb it into the depths of my own corrupted mind instead. It wouldn’t survive there. That darkness would run away screaming in fear rather quickly, I think. I’m a much scarier monster than it could ever pretend to be.
“Just try, Mio. You need all the practice you can get if this will be your life soon. Your simple days of being merely a warrior for the realm are coming to an end. You’ll be a leader soon. A guardian. The mortals will rely on you. I’m almost certain Nora will not be the worst case you encounter in your life.” Taking a deep breath, I focus on the flashes of color in the sky, my power a constant wave of humming energy that calms my nerves. “How is she feeling after everything tonight?”
He sighs, uncrossing his arms and closing his eyes. A swirl of bright white light glistens in the darkness, his power reaching out to connect with Nora’s soul. In my case, if I focused only briefly, I would immediately decipher what she was feeling or going through, but for him it’ll take some time. It’s not easy swimming through endless streams of information to get to the core of one specific mortal’s feelings or emotions.
Securing my daggers to the straps on my thighs, I lean my head back against the wall, my mind being invaded by Nora’s face the way it has for the past year since I began guarding her. Feeling her break as she crouched in front of me in the woods, fearing I would kill her almost broke me, and I don’t…break. I trained my mind to act as steel to be a shield against enemies, but her…her grief and pain, it shatters me, and it fractures those impenetrable shields I’ve created.
I could never hurt her.
Mio’s eyes open, and I already know what he’ll say before he says it.
“Nightmares again. But at least she’s sleeping, right?” His careful smile is followed by him sliding his daggers into the holsters on his hips and turning toward me. “You’d like me to go to her, wouldn’t you? To calm the nightmares that plague her.”
I put away my own weapons, leaning helplessly against the wall. “Yes. Please?” I keep my eyes pinned to the raging sky, the thunder and lightning growing fiercer. “I can’t tonight. I’m just…” Sighing loudly, I run my hands through my rain-soaked hair, brushing it away from my face. “I need to kill something. That’s what I need.”
“Fine. You do that, then. I’ll go, but only if you end this storm. Do you want her to sleep peacefully tonight, or to be woken up endlessly by your raging storm between her fits of nightmares?” His jaw clenches as he watches me, as he feels me slowly crumbling from the inside out.
Guilt is eating me alive. I watched her climb to the top of that bridge, and she chose to give up on life. She let herself fall. Even if she could have miraculously survived, she never would have made it back to the shore, not alive at least. I watched from above her in the sky and I knew I could save her if she fell, but it didn’t hurt any less watching her willingly step off the bridge. Gods, I didn’t know things had gotten so bad. I should have fucking been there before she even considered ending her life.
I nod. He’s right. Still leaning casually against the wall, pretending I’m not seconds from falling apart, I open my palms and watch as lightning strikes down against them. The storm instantly dies, taking my rage and fury with it. I’m no longer angry. I’m numb. I’m broken. I’m pissed at myself for not seeing the signs, that as much as she pretends around everyone to be okay, that she’s still hurting. An eerie silence seeps into the town now that the storm within me has passed, and I welcome it. I need the silence so I can deal with my own shit instead of letting my power do it for me. Looking to Mio, he tips his head, then with a blink he’s gone. I wish I could go to her, but one of us needs to keep watch over the city. Besides, I need time alone to gather my thoughts.
Pushing off the wall, I head toward Main Street, sensing an evil presence growing closer. I pull out my daggers, letting the celestial light of the weapons lead the way.
I need to face Nora and tell her the truth. Tonight, she wanted peace. She’s searching for an escape from the pain of her mortal existence, but death will not bring the release she craves. It will only be the beginning for her. How will she feel when she wakes up from death and realizes she’s just like me?
Forever lurking in the darkness, I stand ready to fly in and save the day, over and over again. It’s exhausting, really. It’s also exhilarating and thrilling, but so gods damned lonely. If it wasn’t for the eternal loneliness, it’d be a beautiful immortal existence. One that those from both the Realm of Darkness and Realm of Light will forever be grateful for. I hope she can learn to feel the same way.
I stalk into the shadows of the alley, the dark power of Nyx’s minions pulsating against my senses. As much as I enjoy guiding and guarding celestials both before they ascend and after, I enjoy the slaughtering of demons much more. If they’re nearby, I will not give them the satisfaction of continuing to live. They will all fall and become nothing more than scattered, ancient ash in the wind.
“Well, well, well…” I say into the darkness, smelling the stench of sulfur and death oozing out of the demons’ bodies. “Haven’t I made it clear by now that entering this realm is a death sentence? Your queen will never learn, will she?” I ask, tilting my head and observing Nyx’s hell hounds.
The three demons stand and stare, their twisted forms casting an eerie shadow on the ground as they tower over me. Each of them are nearly eight feet tall, their muscular frames unmatched by any demon I’ve ever encountered. There is never an end to the Queen of Demons little experiments; there is always a more menacing demon waiting just around the corner.
I step under the single streetlight here, allowing them to catch a glimpse of my face. The face of an unrelenting demon killer, that’s the face they see right now. Tonight, like any other night that I encounter vile creatures in the dark, I’m no longer a guardian or a guide. I’m simply the angel of death. I spread my wings out, their darkness eclipsing all the surrounding city lights, the velvety black becoming a backdrop for their doom.
“Our queen is sick and tired of you getting in her way. You are always in the way.” The demons’ words are more like a guttural growl than anything. The deep, otherworldly sound makes my skin crawl.
“Oh? Well, that’s funny, because I was thinking the same about her. She will never fucking learn that I will not stop until her whole realm one day crumbles and none of you exist.” Stepping toward them, my smile promises death and relentless pain.
