“Concentrate, my little flame,” he sighs quietly as he steps up behind me, cupping his hands around mine and facing my palms out toward the inky darkness of the river and the mountains and trees.
I breathe in deep, letting his power calm my mind as I lean back against his chest, the sound of the river flowing in the distance a reminder of the peace I used to feel at the lake back home.
“Understanding how to wield your power could be a matter of life or death for yourself or someone you love.” The muscles in his chest tense, his body pressed against me and my wings suddenly feeling in the way as I crave leaning further into his soothing shadows and his calming voice.
“I’m trying, Ere,” I whisper.
“Close your eyes,” he murmurs against my ear, so I do. “Now, focus on only our breathing. On only our hearts beating as one. Clear your thoughts. What is the thing you want more than anything? Focus on that. Focus on what you need to do in order to have that.” He places his hands on my hips, and the reassuring touch sends comforting shivers of hope down my spine.
Freedom. It’s the only thing I want in this moment, and what I’ve been wanting more than anything for the past year, and possibly even in a past life that I can’t remember. I focus on only Nyx and my hatred for her, pushing away thoughts of his body and his touch and his silky power wrapped around me. I step forward and he pulls his shadows away, tightly tucking them back within himself and giving me free reign to feel and let the anger and hatred that burns for her in my heart ignite.
As heat engulfs me, I step further away from Ere, focusing only on all the pain and agony and death Nyx has brought into my life. Bright flames swirl around my entire body, the fire vengeful and angry and cruel. I smile as I place my palms out and focus on the already lifeless vines wrapped around the fence in front of me. I imagine her face there as I command my flames to stretch toward them, burning them into a pile of ash on the scorched ground.
Nyx is what motivates me to control my power. Anger and pain help too, but it’ll be Nyx who my flames search for in the darkness when the time comes. My power rages within, begging me to find her here now and burn her alive. It speaks to me in a way I understand, and I speak back, urging the flames to die out and save their energy for her lying, evil face. They listen. Slowly, the heat dissipates, the bright light fades, and my flames disappear under my warm, slick skin.
I can control my power. Ere being here with me helped. Him reminding me that I’ll need to fight if I want to be free, that helped, too. The sound of his dark laughter echoes off the mountains, his thick arms wrapping me up in a tight embrace. I laugh, locking my arms around his waist as warm, proud tears flow down my cheeks. I did it. I can do this.
“My queen,” he purrs against my forehead, placing a gentle kiss there.
I pull away, my eyes wide and my mind immediately racing. “Why did you call me that? I’m not your queen, Ere.” Backing away, I shake my head in disbelief, suddenly feeling a sense of déjà vu from my time in the Realm of Darkness.
Why the hell does everyone assume I want to be their queen? What about what I want? What about what I need, which is to first figure out who the hell I even am and who these men are to me.
“With Nyx’s death, someone must remain here to rule. I will not be allowed to leave. The gods will not let me out of this so easily. I am trapped whether I like it or not, but without her this realm could be so much more than it is.” He takes my hands into his, his eyes a glowing crimson that makes me question every decision I know I must make in the future.
It’ll be him or Kairos. Him or the celestials. Him or no one else. If everything he says is true and he is my fated mate, then it’ll be only him. The celestials and witches will never accept me if I’m a part of this realm. Even Olivia might fear me.
I pull away, shaking my head as I take two steps back. “Dragging me here without my consent doesn’t give you the right to control my decisions or dictate my way of life. What if I don’t want to stay here with you? What if I…” I swallow thickly, his eyes burning brighter and his wings shifting behind him as he closes the distance between us. “What if I choose to live out my life with the celestials or decide I want to live on the Earth Realm with Olivia? I should be free to choose my own fate. No one chooses for me. I’m so damn tired of everyone treating me like I have no say in my own life. You do not own me!”
I stomp past him, heading for the torch-lit path back to his house, not wanting to look at him or speak to him any longer. I need a break from him and the chaos and confusion of trying to decipher who’s telling the truth and who’s lying about what they are to me. Two crowns and two men and how do I know which one is meant for me? I can’t handle it all anymore.
He follows closely behind but doesn’t speak. As I step up to the door, he grips my shoulders, turning me to face him. His eyes are soft, golden pools of sadness as he looks at me. “I know I do not own you, my love.” I back away and he prowls closer, closing in on me until my wings are pressed firmly against the stark black door. He places his palms against the doorframe, his arms caging me in as he leans down and whispers, “You own me.” The honesty in his eyes sets my heart on fire and my soul sings as if it’s been awoken from a deep sleep. Every rational thought goes out the window as his words sink in.
He doesn’t smile or look at me as he opens the door and steps past me to go inside. His wings brush against mine and then he’s gone, engulfed by swirling shadows. He looks hopeless. He looks scared and hurt and my heart shatters as I consider that maybe he has lost more than I can comprehend. Maybe he loves me more than I will ever know. Maybe he did suffer for a century just waiting for me, haunted here in darkness and misery. What if everything he has told me is true? What if it was never Kairos who was meant for me and Ere really is my fated mate? One of them waited for nothing. Both are waiting still, and it kills me to think of either of them suffering because of me. Because I can’t remember. Because I will have to choose.
“Ere, wait. Please.” My voice is a soft plea for forgiveness and he freezes before reaching his bedroom door. “I’m sorry. It feels like everyone wants to control me. Nyx. Kairos and Hekate. Now you.” I sigh, running my hands through my hair and stepping into the kitchen. “I’ve always loved how you let me choose who I want to be and how I want to live. I don’t want that to change. I want to be me, whoever that might be once I remember. I don’t want anyone choosing for me.”
“Hate me if you wish, but all I want is to keep you safe and let you find the happiness you deserve. Forgive me if my excitement over the thought of a possible future together was a bit overwhelming, but you are all that matters to me.” He leans back against the stone counter, hands gripping the edge as if it’s all that’s holding him up, his eyes dull and empty for the first time.
“I don’t hate you, Ere. Not at all. I just…” I lose my train of thought as he pushes off the counter and steps toward me.
The scent of him is like a midnight breeze tinged with the essence of shadows. It’s hard to describe how comforting and calming Ere smells, only that taking a deep breath, breathing him in, makes me feel like I’m back outside in the cool night air and I could live within that scent forever.
‘This is hard. I don’t know what I feel for you anymore,” I whisper, staring at the floor, unable to look at him as I confess the truth.
My love for him still exists, but I can’t pretend my feelings for Kairos are non-existent. I fell for him, too. Throw in the magical connection of fated mates and not knowing who I’m meant to be with, and it’s hard to know what the hell I’m supposed to feel, let alone what I do feel.
The soothing touch of his hands as he brushes my hair back and then tilts my chin up, forcing me to look at him, makes my heart flutter. “You only fell for him because I left you, and I am sorry for that. You thought he was all you had. That he was the only man who could keep you safe. You were wrong.” His fingertips graze across my cheek bone and he tilts his head slightly. “I think you know exactly how you feel for me and what it is you truly want, my little flame.” His smile is brief and small as his gaze lingers on my lips. “I just don’t think you are quite ready yet to admit the truth.”
“Why do you use that name for me? My little flame. You never called me that until I got here.” Lifting my chin, my eyes roam over his face and get distracted by his lips, the perfect curve of them driving me wild as he inches even closer.
“It was a name I gave you in the past. You used to love it. If you hate it now, I can stop.” He grips my hands and places them on his chest.
I shake my head. “No. I like it.”
I close my eyes as the steady thumping of his heart soothes the ache I feel in my own over the possibility of hurting him if I don’t choose him. If he isn’t meant for me. But there’s something about touching him like this that sends waves of hope and trust rushing through me, a gentle reminder that he has always managed to keep me calm regardless of what I’m going through. His hands hold me captive, the smooth warmth of his skin pressing into me as I feel and listen and get lost in the rhythm of our hearts. I keep my eyes closed, letting his comforting energy wrap around me and remind me to breathe.
“Tell me what you are feeling right now. Do not think, Nora. Just feel.” His words are a command, but there’s a longing laced within his voice, as if begging me to surrender to the sound of him and the feel of his heart and to the moment we’re sharing here together.
