Her fingers twitch, a tremor running through her as she grips my hand tighter. “That’s how I felt the night on the bridge. And in the lake, I felt it all, too. The darkness, the cold touch of numbness, the stench of evil—oh my god. I’m so sorry if it’s true, that Nyx did this to you. To your people. All because of me. Because of her hunger for my power.”
Her guilt kills me. My bleeding heart cries out for her to understand that it was all worth it, because even if my soul wound up withered and tormented, if it had been lost to eternal darkness or shot into oblivion instead, at least it would have died protecting her. It would have still been worth it.
I can’t tell her that, though, the intensity of that truth too much to admit yet without her remembering how deep and passionate our love was, so I simply smile and send waves of warm light and comfort into her heart. “None of this is your fault. The Dark Legion and I chose to protect you. All of it was for you, Nora, not because of you.”
Tucking wind tossed strands of hair behind her ears, she smiles and then chews on her bottom lip. “So, what do we do now? Now that I’m here and safe from Nyx for the time being, what’s the plan?” Her eyes roam over the city, admiring the dreary but beautiful landscape now engulfed by darkness and starlight.
“For now,” I tell her, stepping closer and brushing her hair behind her shoulders. “All you need to worry about is getting rest.”
“And where exactly will we be resting?” She stiffens.
“My home.” Smiling, I wrap my arms around her waist and she gasps as I pull her against me.
It could be our home one day. If we find a way out of this mess and a way for her to remember me, we could spend countless happy centuries in it together. I would never want to leave.
“What are you doing?” Her eyes glimmer with nervous excitement as they linger on my lips.
“It’s easier to fly.” Spreading my wings out wide, I crouch and prepare to take flight. “We don’t have vehicles here because we?—”
“Have wings, right.” She nods, taking in the height of the sprawling hills surrounding us and the city far below. I can only assume she’s imagining falling to her death. “I won’t let fear rule me.” Taking a deep breath, she pins her eyes to me. “I’m not afraid. Not with you.” She wraps her arms around me and then rests her head on my chest. “Is this okay?”
Her warmth encases me in a way that lets me pretend for a moment she’s mine, and I am whole again at last. I’ve missed this. Gods, I’ve missed her.
“This is perfect,” I whisper, savoring the feel of her against me. “As long as you feel safe.”
She doesn’t lift her head, but she squeezes me even tighter. “I would feel safer if you carried me. Can you, please?”
Her heartbeat is as wild and erratic as mine, hers from mostly fear, and mine from the thrill of holding my long-lost love again. Swooping her up, I gently cradle her in my arms, and she smiles and relaxes against me.
“Better?” I ask nervously, afraid I’ve gone too far.
“Yes. Better,” she whispers, burying her face in my shoulder, her palms pressed firmly against my back.
I want nothing more than for Nora to feel safe with me but holding her now isn’t only about her. It’s about my safety, too. Leaping into the air, the thunderous clap of my wings is nothing compared to the roar of my heart that at last feels safe again. I have hope that we’ll get her memories back to her and hope that she will love me. In this moment, I want to scream into the heavens so the whole world can hear how my love for her has never and will never die.
I will always have hope for her and I.
Chapter Twenty-One
Chasing Happiness
NORA
Light spills through the crack under the door as Kairos showers, and I can’t help but stare. I’m not sure what the hell I’m even watching for. The door is made of solid marble, black with intricate lines of gold, but I can’t help but wish it was made only of glass. To see him drenched in water and foamy bubbles, to get just a glimpse of his slick skin and the thick muscles beneath every tattoo covering his arms and chest would be a dream. I know I shouldn’t think this way. I know this, and yet still, I can’t deny my attraction to him. I’ve felt it since the night I officially met him at the club. There’s something about his soul that refuses to let me pretend I feel nothing. I try and fail. I blame it on the fact that I’m being haunted and possessed and need a distraction from the chaos that is my life. It has to be that.
Kairos gave me a thorough tour of his home as soon as we got here. The black marble covers every surface, and though the gold accents are stunning, the coved ceilings that form a dome above each room is my favorite part. Even the outside of the homes here are carved from thick marble, all of them with spires stretching up toward the starlit sky, each its own little temple or sanctuary of peace jutting into the cosmos. Kairos said stars are made of celestial light, but not the ones here. They’re made of divine light. Even with the bright blue diamonds twinkling in the sky, it’s dark and moody here and I love it.
The darkness that has tormented my mind for the past year feels weak in the Realm of Darkness. In a weird way, it’s like a part of myself is missing after carrying it with me for so long. One thing I’ve learned about those of us who have darkness in our veins, is as much as we want it gone, sometimes it’s sad to see it go. We’re left with these gaping holes from all the things it takes when it leaves. How do we refill those empty spaces? I suppose we should feel lucky that it left at all, even if it is fleeing and will return. Some of us aren’t so lucky.
A part of me wishes I could stay here and be free of the darkness forever, but I know this is only temporary. I miss Olivia and Hekate so much already. And Ere. I miss him, too. I understand that all of this is a lot to deal with but refusing to call or even respond to my texts is low. Shouldn’t he care how I’m doing? Shouldn’t he want to make sure I’m okay? I can only assume he has officially bailed. He finally reached his limit on the level of madness he can deal with from me.
My thoughts drift away as Kairos begins to sing, his deep voice warm and gentle and comforting. I can’t help but smile. His baritone singing is off key and far from being good, but my soul sings along just the same. The shower handle squeaks and the water abruptly shuts off, so I quickly pull the black t-shirt he let me borrow over my head, inhaling the rich, leather and amber scent of him deep into my lungs. I toss my towel into the shimmery hamper by the door, for a moment wondering if it’s possible that it’s made of pure gold. From the looks of it, it might very well be. Having his intoxicating scent wrapped around me sends excited shivers through my body. I leap into bed, pull the covers up to my chin, and then fix my eyes to the wide-open balcony doors and the orbs of celestial light hovering around outside, just as he enters the room.
According to Kairos, the Realm of Light is powered by celestial light, and without the existence of it, the realm could no longer exist. Divine light, which is even stronger and more powerful, he says, only existed within me before I created the Realm of Darkness and planted it here. The celestials believe that without the existence of divine light, all light would cease to exist. Something about that thought terrifies me, that my life, my power alone, keeps the realms from crumbling to nothing. It shouldn’t be me. It should be anyone but me who holds that power.
“You look comfortable.”
His voice pulls me away from my thoughts, my eyes widening at the sight of him. I force my face to relax, giving him a neutral, unaffected smile, though it’s difficult as he leans against the door frame, shirtless with only a thin towel wrapped snuggly around his waist. Good god, he’s a work of art. I rake my eyes up and down his body, admiring the smooth muscles and the intricate black ink that does in fact cover his entire abdomen, chest, and arms.
