Gods, I miss the feel of her. The taste of her. The pleasure filled cries of my name slipping off her tongue so beautifully, like it is the only word she cares to know. This is absolute fucking torture.
“I’ll take your place if you want, Ro. I don’t mind watching, really.” Mio steps up beside me, his smile wide and proud as he slaps me on the back.
I shake his hand off and face him. He thinks he’s hilarious. What I wouldn’t give to watch him sink and drown in my sorrow.
“Fuck off, Mio,” I spit, crossing my arms over my heaving chest and narrowing my eyes on his smug face. “How good it must feel to have no heart.”
“Dramatic much? I was only kidding. Come on, man.” Sliding his hands into his pockets, he looks down, kicking the sand and avoiding looking anywhere near the window.
Normally I can handle him, badly timed jokes and all, but tonight I’m not in the mood. Seeing Nora laid out before this unworthy man, begging for him and giving herself to him freely, has me tempted to rip open the skies and let my power tear the world apart. She deserves the eternal love she’s fated to have—a thing no simple, mortal man can give. Only I can offer that to her. Not him. Me.
Fate, though, can be a fickle and disappointing thing at times. I’ve seen it happen before. Some celestials, Mio himself even, refuse their fated mate, too stubborn and set on choosing who to love for themselves. Maybe Nora too will choose love over fate. With her I’d undeniably have both. The mortal can’t live forever. He’ll leave.
I’ll stay forever in her arms if she’ll let me.
“You okay?” Mio keeps his back facing me, staring off blankly at the fading sunset over the lake. “We can leave, you know? Katie is nearby and her wards and ours will protect Nora. She’s safe.”
“I’m not leaving her,” I tell him as he turns his head slightly to glance back at me. “But you’re free to leave whenever you wish, of course.”
I unzip my leather jacket, the long sleeves and thick material suddenly so tight that I feel like I’m suffocating. Tossing it on the ground at my feet, I shake out the sweat from my hair, smoothing the damp locks away from my face with my hands. Even with removing part of my fighting leathers, I still can’t breathe. It’s like the walls are closing in, the sky falling and pressing down upon my shoulders, the gods whispering from their mountain top in the highest part of heaven that I’ve failed. I don’t know how much more of this torture I can take.
After Nora’s jump from the bridge, I didn’t think it could get much worse. Not until she swam out to the middle of the lake and let herself sink to the bottom. Both of those things have Nyx and her mind games written all over them. It was her. She tried this same type of shit when Mera was alive last time. Katie was on guard that night while I trained with my soldiers in the Realm of Darkness, and she said she’d simply gone out for a swim, but Nora can’t be trusted if Nyx is taking the reins at times. Neither can Katie’s judgement. I rushed back as soon as Katie’s glowing message reached me in the sky, urging me to get to Nora immediately. That’s one thing I hate about being away while she’s here—the fact that she’s untraceable by me and left vulnerable to attacks, even the ones on herself. I need her to be safe. I’m not leaving her again, no matter how much it hurts to be here and witness this.
Mio sighs, pulling out his dagger and turning to face me. “You want me to kill this Ere guy? Say the word and I will.” He pretends to slice his weapon across his own throat.
I smile, watching as he spins the weapon in his hand, knowing if I asked him to, he truly would do it. Unfortunately, the celestial laws forbid killing innocents, so if the king and queen were to find out then it would be bad for both of us.
Is this mortal truly innocent? In my eyes he’s not. There is nothing pure or innocent about him because he is fucking the love of my life.
“Nah. I’d rather kill him myself.” I huff a laugh, and he nods, stretching his wings out and strapping his dagger back in place.
Honestly, I’d enjoy doing it. I’d revel in his misery and pain. The dark part of my soul longs to remove this fools’ hands so he cannot be lucky enough to touch her ever again. As he smiles and commands her to beg for her pleasure, my hand tingles with the desire to grip my dagger and jam it firmly into his vocal cords, rendering him speechless for good. Fuck this guy.
I flex my hands at my sides, facing the window and forcing myself to keep my eyes locked on the two of them, though all I want is to disappear. I’m not one who has ever been good at reading peoples’ souls or auras, not the way Katie and the witches can, but there’s something I’ve always found to be off about Ere. Maybe it’s just the way he looks at her like she’s a scattered puzzle that needs to be put back together. Like she’s broken. Or maybe it’s the way he says her name, like she belongs to him whether she wants to or not.
Either way, I fucking hate the guy. Can’t stand him. I wish only death and unhappiness upon him. Fuck, I’m not okay.
Nora’s silky red hair and bright eyes are all I focus on as I glance back through the window, the light from the lamp on her nightstand casting their moving, writhing shadows on the pale walls. If I were to see her bare body again one day, tangled up in the sheets with mine, it would be an honor and a privilege. It can’t be this way. I want it to happen because she wants me to see, not because I’m creeping around outside her window, stalking and watching her like some gods damn pathetic lunatic. For now, it’s simply what must be done to keep her safe, because after centuries alive I’ve learned to trust no one. Trust is a careless thing.
Even those who appear innocent enough sometimes have secrets they’d do anything to keep in shadow.
“Kairos, when are you going to talk to her? Do you normally wait this long to talk to the ones you’re guarding, or are you just nervous because she’s your mate?” Mio holds his celestial sword in his hand, and as he spins and slices through air, the sound of it drags my attention away from Nora and back to him.
I conjure a whirlwind that rips through the air and knocks the heavy sword out of his hand. “Worry less about me and more about your shitty sword fighting skills. Your stance is awful. Even without my power I could have easily knocked that weapon out of your hand.”
I laugh as he smiles, his dark hair falling into his eyes as he uses his booted toe to kick the hilt of his sword, sending it flying up and back into his waiting hand, expertly. I can’t lie and say I’m not impressed. He’s the best fighter I know, with and without a weapon. I trust him with my life more than anyone else. His only true celestial power is his ability to manipulate emotions, which all celestials have to some degree, but his is like nothing I’ve ever felt. He doesn’t simply make one feel what he wants them to feel, he sends them spiraling into the emotion, deep and unwavering and relentless until they no longer know what’s real. It’s a hell of a skill to have on your side during battles.
I prefer the raw, intense, real emotions no matter how good or bad they may be. I’d rather they carve out a hole and leave me festering in a pit of my own agony than to feel nothing at all. I wouldn’t know about happiness and how it might feel. It has been too long since I’ve felt anything like it. Not since Mera.
“You’re just jealous. You wish you looked half as good as I do while swinging a sword, commander.” He salutes me mockingly with his middle finger while bowing at the waist.
Shaking my head I turn away. He’s right about one thing. I need to introduce myself to Nora. I need her to know me, to see me and not be afraid. Mostly though, I want to introduce myself selfishly, not wanting to spend another day without her knowing I exist. I’m tired of using glamours and magic to hide from her. I want her to know that the only thing I care about now and forever is her safety. Whatever may come her way, I’ll be in the front lines providing a shield from harm, a shelter for her to curl up within to remain safe. She deserves to know there are celestials on her side. That I am on her side.
The tense muscles in my neck relax as the act between her and the bastard ends, and the quiet stillness of the night takes over. I breathe in deeply, awareness that I was holding my breath slamming into me as oxygen at last soothes the burn in my lungs. I couldn’t stand to smell his arousal any longer or taste his scent in the air. As I watch Nora’s breathing, the rise and fall of her delicate chest beneath the silky covers, I wish for nothing more than the chance to caress her forehead until she falls asleep the way I used to. To whisper goodnight against her ear and hold her until the sun rises again. The man, Ere, has a sloppy, satisfied grin plastered to his face as he wraps his overly muscular arms around her. I would give anything to be him in this moment. I’d kill to take his place.
Until the day she becomes a celestial, until she knows the truth of what we are to one another, I have no choice but to let her live out her human existence and be with whoever the hell she chooses to be with, even if it kills me. I’ll continue letting my own fragile heart break, as long as she’s happy. Raising my palms, I send a new wave of light around the home to shield her from any harm, the old shield dimming away. Katie is supposed to be here soon to do the same, sending up protective wards of shimmering blue. Anyone or anything who wishes Nora harm and passes through our barriers will alert our senses immediately as long as we remain in the same realm.
Stepping back, I gaze at the white light surrounding her house, then smile as Katie’s blue dome of protection goes up around it, the glittering colors blending to become one. Glancing over my shoulder, I nod and she does the same. She wiggles her fingers in a small wave, her magic glowing on her fingertips and stretching across the beach, wrapping me up in comforting waves of positivity and peace. She’s sending me a message. Everything will be okay.
