Matthew sat in the space vacated by her mother on the sofa, no longer interested as long as the man wasn’t a rival.
“Begin,” he said. “Pretend I am your suitor. How would you wish me to behave? If I visitedafteryou had given me permission, would I be allowed to sit close and take your hand?”
He shifted over until there was not an inch between their hips and thighs. Stripping off his gloves, he took hold of her hand. “Like this?”
Drawing her hand away, Lady Purity bristled. “No, you would not. You should sit where you were. Don’t ever lean against a lady and only take her hand when it has been offered.”
He didn’t move. “Tell me more.”
“Aren’t you going to change seats?
“We are only play-acting, so I see no necessity for moving. I have filed the knowledge away until I have a sheet of paper. What else can you think of,ma chère?”
“Don’t speak with any affectation, including dropping in a smattering of French, no matter how perfect your accent. You did it the other night at the Fenwicks’, too. All provincialism, foreign accents, mannerisms, exaggerations, and slang are likewise considered detestable. Above all, do not be flippant.”
“Flippant?” Matthew asked. He might have to remain silent for his normal everyday parlance was ripe with flippancy.
“Gentlemen sometimes address ladies in a flippant manner,” she pointed out, “such as calling mekitten.”
He winced. On the other hand, he had no intention of not calling her whatever he liked. It was too much fun.
“Most well-brought up ladies will feel obliged to ignore your deviations from the expected civility in conversation, appearing not to notice while inwardly rebelling against you.”
“Are you rebelling?”
She sighed. “We are not talking aboutme. I only point out that an otherwise worthy man can cause himself irreparable harm when it comes to courting by creating a poor lastingimpression without even realizing it. Flippancy denotes ill-breeding.”
“Does it?” Matthew didn’t like to think that was the case.
“It does,” she insisted. “Even if it’s not true but merely a personal failing. Add to that a man who keeps a vapid smile upon his face or has a wandering eye, a vacant stare, or as you did earlier, have your mouth half-open and ready to interrupt. These are all unwelcome traits in a suitor. Or a friend, for that matter.”
“Duly noted.” He was starting to wish he had written down her instructions when the maid entered with the tea service, followed by another maid, whom he took to be the aforementioned Alice.
The first placed a silver tray with a porcelain pot, two cups and saucers, and a plate of biscuits in front of them on the low table before the sofa, and then she withdrew a folded sheet of paper and a pencil from her pocket.
“Please give those to Lord Foxford,” Lady Purity said. “That will be all.” The girl curtsied and left. Then she addressed the other servant. “You may take a seat by the bookshelf.”
The second maid nodded and went to the other end of the room.
“Now we are set to rights,” Lady Purity said. “Everything is as it should be.”
“Until I say how kind you are being,comme un doux ange.”
“You think you are being funny, but I will not waste my time,” she vowed. “I won’t bea sweet angel,as you say, if you don’t take this seriously.”
“I suppose you don’t wish to hear my brogue, either,sweet lass,” he said, laying it on as thickly as a highlander.
She stared, stone-faced.
Matthew sighed. “I will take it seriously.” And he made a little cross over his heart.
She was adorable when her dander was up. Then he tried to write with the single page resting on his pant leg and tore the paper.
“This won’t do,” she said. “We shall resume our tutelage in the library at the next mutually convenient time.”
“What more is there?” he asked, half to himself, although pleased they would meet again, perhaps alone in the Diamonds’ library.
“More?” her voice rose. “We have barely begun. You must learn to reflect before you speak, stop referring to any private matters in public, avoid all impertinent questions, make sure you never perform mimicry that embarrasses the other person, don’t give advice unless asked, don’t be ambiguous or whisper in front of others, never speak a classical quotation in mixed company—”
