“Exactly. If you were being the youIknow, you would have. You had plenty to say the night you dragged me out of bed for dinner right after Cliff dumped me.”
That was before he’d realized his feelings had shifted. “Yeah, well, I haven’t changed my mind about Cliff. I think you already know that. And you seem to be back on your feet now.”
She jumped up. “I do? Because I feel like I’m drowning, Jules. And you just... disappeared on me. Is it about that kiss?Onekiss? Are you kidding me? God, was itthatterrible?”
It hadn’t been terrible at all. It’d been revealing—toorevealing. It’d felt as if their childhood had set them up for a lifetime of love and happiness—except for the part where she wouldn’t want him because he was about to fall apart. Even if she did want him, he’d hate for her to accept anything less than what she deserved.
“That kiss had nothing to do with it.” Other than show him what he’d be missing. As if he’d neededthat.
“I don’t believe you. You haven’t even been willing to look at me since. I wouldn’t have done it if I’d known how you were going to react. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” he said gruffly. “It wasn’t just you. We both know that.”
She stepped closer, wearing a confused and hurt expression. “Then why are you avoiding me? What have I done? One kiss makes me poisonous?”
The disappointment he’d been feeling since his diagnosis cut even deeper than usual. “I’m trying to stay away from you, okay?”
Her eyes widened, and she blinked. “Why?That’s what I’m trying to find out!”
“Because I want you too badly, damn it!” He gripped the chair back until his knuckles turned white. He’d said too much. But he’d been drinking again and had lost his usual restraint. After he’d finished photographing the harbor and daily life in Sorrento, he’d taken the bus back to Praiano, but there’d been nothing better to do while he waited for everyone to go to bed at the villa—so that he wouldn’t run into Charlotte again—than to relax with a beer and then another and another.
Her mouth fell open. “That can’t be the problem. You... you view me as a sister or something. When I kissed you, it gave you theickfactor, and now you won’t even look at me.”
“Iwishthat were the case,” he muttered, too low for her to hear.
“What’d you say?” She stepped up to him, challenging him.
He moved back. He couldn’t see this going anywhere it should. “Nothing.”
“I enjoyed that kiss.Iwanted more, but you... you weren’t interested.”
“You’re thinking about going back to your husband, remember?” It was an excuse, something he wasn’t nearly as afraid of as the truth. But at least she’d find his response believable.
“So youdon’tthink of me like a sister...”
Apparently, he’d done a better job of hiding his attraction to her than he’d thought. “Look, I’ve had too much to drink.Again.” The bite of beer lingered on his tongue. “And I’m tired. I’m heading to bed before— I’m heading to bed,” he said, cutting off his prior sentence so he wouldn’t get himself into even more trouble.
“Julian...”
He told himself to ignore the plea in her voice and go inside. But he cared too much about her. He turned back.
“You don’t think... You don’t think you and I could ever... that we’d ever... you know, have a chance at something more than... what we’ve had in the past?”
He could tell it’d been a hard question for her to ask. They’d labeled their relationship as “friends” for so long it was difficult to take that next step and feel sure about it. But the fact that she seemed interested in him romantically was as crushing as it was remarkable. He’d never dreamed she’d be able to imagine them together, especially while she was still trying to break away from Cliff.
But plenty of people struggled to know who and what they really wanted when they were on the rebound, he reminded himself.
“Maybe if circumstances were different,” he said. “But they’re not.”
Sloane had tried calling Ben last night—several times—but she’d been unable to reach him, which she found a little odd. He was usually good about responding. Because she didn’t hear from him, she’d tossed and turned, imagining that he was hanging out with his new coworker, mowing her yard, fixing a leaky faucet or teaching her boy how to play ball. It would be just like him to offer his help. He’d see no point in remaining home alone. Since she’d been gone, he’d attended trivia night with his friends, played in his weekly softball league game and visited a sports bar a couple of times to watch playoff basketball, and she didn’t mind. He, too, had the right to have fun. She just didn’t want that fun to include Adele—not when she felt her marriage was so fragile.
She must’ve worried herself ragged because when she finally dropped off, she slept like the dead. It was several hours laterwhen the sun came through the cracks in the shutters and woke her the next morning.
“Shit,” she said as all her worries—and the memory of her argument with Charlotte—came crashing down on her.
She felt around for her phone. She hadn’t let it go—even to charge it—so it had vanished into the blankets.
She found it under one of the pillows. There were several messages from Ben. But no missed calls. That seemed significant and gave her the impression he hadn’t been all that anxious to talk to her.
