Lilly stared down into the drink the waitress had just handed her. “I don’t know,” she finally mumbled.
“You don’t have to decide today. I just thought you might like to have that as an option.”
She nodded as the waitress left. Then she did a double take when she saw the same boy Sloane had noticed earlier. “Why’s that kid staring at me?” she whispered warily, her eyebrows drawn together.
“Because you’re beautiful,” Sloane said with a laugh.
“No, I’m not.”
Sloane couldn’t believe it. “Haven’t you looked in a mirror lately? You absolutely are.”
“I’m too tall and too skinny. And my feet are too big.”
“I don’t think he cares about your feet, and no one else will, either,” she said and reached over to give her arm a squeeze to emphasize what she’d said.
Lilly’s attention shifted to Sloane’s hand, but she didn’t pull away. A shy smile dawned on her face, one that told Sloane Lilly was finally beginning to trust her the way she’d begun to trust Julian, and it was then that Sloane knew she never wanted to lose touch with this sweet girl.
She was almost afraid to tell Ben what she was feeling.
At the same time, she couldn’t wait.
chapter 22
Lilly spent the next several days thinking about what Sloane had said at the beach club about going to live with Steve. She imagined waking up in her old room, with the frilly curtains Steve’s mom had put up that were much too young for her—not that she would ever be ungrateful enough to point that out—and having Old Blue waiting on the porch for her. She imagined the smell of bacon wafting through the house and having Steve call out that it was time for breakfast—and once she’d eaten, having him tell her that she needed to hurry and get ready so she wouldn’t be late for school. When she’d lived with him before, he’d packed her lunches and sent her off to the bus stop each day; in some ways, it would feel normal. The farm would also be a quiet, steady-as-morning-chores life. Just what she’d always craved.
But then she imagined not having her mother there with her. While that would be a good thing in some ways—there’d be no more fights or the feeling that she couldn’t get too comfortable because it wouldn’t last—would she truly fit in? Did shebelongat the farm the way Old Blue did? If not,couldshebelong there? Or would it be too weird to be raised by someone who was no relation to her? A single guy.
Could Steve ever really love her like a daughter?
She had no ongoing relationship with any of her mom’s other boyfriends. He was the only one who’d actually tried to be a stepfather. But she hadn’t had a great deal of time with him. Her mother had started acting out after only a few months. And Lilly didn’t want to be a burden on him just because he was nice enough to take her in.
She wanted someone to love her.
No, that wasn’t enough, she decided. She wanted to bewanted. That was what she’d always craved. Her mother had loved her, but she’d also used her to pick up the pieces each time her life fell apart.
“You’re quiet today,” Sloane commented.
Lilly breathed deeply, smelling sun-warmed asphalt as they walked to the small family-owned grocery store they visited when they needed to get a few ingredients for dinner. Sloane had started teaching Lilly how to cook, which was something she really enjoyed. She’d made a lot of meals when her mom was alive—she’d had to if she wanted to eat—but it wasn’t the same. That was mostly packaged stuff, a sandwich or a can of soup. Sloane said that wasn’tcooking. She was showing Lilly how to make her own spaghetti and pasta sauces, bake her own bread and make polenta, tiramisu, even a chocolate cake with strawberry-and-cream layers. Mostly, they cooked Italian. Sloane said she wanted to remain “fully immersed” in the Italian experience while they were here.
Besides, it was easy to get just the right ingredients, and Lilly loved helping her choose the menu.
Tonight they were going to make an artichoke dip, then some grilled garlic shrimp and follow that up with lemon pasta.Lilly could already taste the hit of zest and the buttery slide of noodles. Fortunately, she liked lemon stuff because it waseverywhereon the Amalfi Coast, and Sloane was really excited about it, too, so she always suggested it for meals.
“I’m just thinking about dinner,” Lilly commented, even though that wasn’t really true.
“Dinner takes that much concentration?” Sloane glanced back with a smile that said she was only teasing.
“I guess not,” she admitted, but she wasn’t about to volunteer that she was thinking about Steve or the farm, so she said, “I’ve been wondering whether Charlotte will be able to finish her book on time.”
“Maybe not on time, but she should be close. Seems like it’s going well so far.”
“What happens if her editor doesn’t like it?”
They made their way up a set of stairs and shifted left to start another flight. “That wouldn’t be good.”
“Her career would be over?”
“Maybe they’d pull the book from the production schedule to give her time to change it. I’m not sure.”
