“Because he’s only interested in things that are about him?” he said, unable to stop himself.
“Essentially,” she admitted reluctantly. “And he doesn’t know how to react to the fact that someone else might come to mean more to me than he does. Or more than he did.” She waved a hand. “Or... whatever.”
“He cares about that even though he’s trying to end your marriage?”
“You know the saying about wanting your cake and eating it, too?”
“I’m familiar with it.”
“Even though he’s the one who’s calling it quits, he’s been everything to me for the past several years and doesn’t want my feelings to change. He hates the prospect of losing that security blanket. And yet he wants to be free to enjoy his pro basketball days, which I’ve come to realize means seeing other women.”
“Wait, he’s not moving forward with the divorce?”
“Didn’t specify.”
“Then I hopeyou’llsend papers tohim!”
She sighed and lowered her voice. Someone was putting a carry-on in the overhead bin in anticipation of taking the seat next to him. “One day I might. But I’m not going to worry about it right now. I just need to get through the month and make the hard decisions I’ll have to make regarding my half sister. Then I’ll see how I feel when I return.”
“How would he react if you got back with him but told him you wanted to take in a twelve-year-old?”
“I don’t know,” she said.
She could probably guess. Even Julian thought he could predict Cliff’s response. Cliff hadn’t been interested in her family when he married her. Julian couldn’t imagine he’d be open to taking in the orphaned half sister she’d just learned she had. But he said, “Okay.” He didn’t want to upset her, especially because he couldn’t criticize her approach. He was taking a similar one when it came to his own problems. He’d told his doctor he wasn’t going to start any type of treatment, not until he returned from Italy.
For the next month, he was just going to enjoy whatever he could—and pretend nothing was wrong.
Julian slept almost the entire flight; Charlotte watched movie after movie. She was trying to distract herself from what was waiting for her on the other side of the world, but nothing seemed to work. Her mind kept drifting, her thoughts ping-ponging from Cliff and his sudden change of heart to the ominous words Heidelman had said when they talked right before she left.
It might be tempting to meet Lilly, fall instantly in love and take her home. By all indications, she’s a beautiful girl. But since you have accommodations in Italy for a month, I’d stay the entire time or even extend it.
She’d found it strange that he’d suggest she put more thought into taking responsibility for Lilly as opposed to less. Wasn’t it his job to find the girl a home? And wasn’t his job over once he’d done that? She would’ve thought he’d press her to take quick action rather than advise her to be slow and methodical.
Why do you say that?she’d asked him.
Because it’s the smart thing to do. Get to know Lilly before you decide one way or the other. I don’t want topoison you against the girl, but I also want to be totally transparent with you, so you know what to expect. She deserves a lot more consideration than she’s ever gotten. But Luca has indicated she can be difficult.
Charlotte remembered how tense she’d felt in that moment.
In what way?she’d asked.
He didn’t specify. But if I had to guess, she’s hurt and angry, which can make a child strike out. She’s also been raised by a mother who hasn’t given her any consistency, any stability. And when children have too much freedom, they tend to get willful and stubborn and resist authority.
The last thing Charlotte needed was an angry, troubled teen. Did her sister already fit that category? Because twelve still sounded so young and innocent. Charlotte was only twenty-nine herself.
She’s willful, stubborn and resists authority?
I have a teenager so... I’m here to tell you parenting one can be very difficult. They all test their boundaries.
Great, she’d thought sarcastically. Her sister was already out of control. What did that mean for her? Would she be able to do anything to help? Would she even be able to tolerate the girl?
Maybe this would be a wasted trip, and she’d be heading home before she knew it, feeling guilty because she couldn’t be the solution to a problem that desperately needed solving.
That possibility was one of the things that tempted her togo back to Cliff. If she returned to the marriage, he’d make the decision for her, and she was almost certain he’d refuse to take Lilly. He didn’t even want children of his own—at least not at this point. He was unwilling to be inconvenienced in any way. He was too Important.
All the fretting was giving her a headache. Or maybe it was the altitude. One of her legs was falling asleep, too.
She shifted to get more comfortable and realized that Julian was now awake and watching her.
