***
I don’t finish the paper in the next two hours. Instead, I think of ways to cancel the dinner plan. At least that internal battle keeps the visions of Drew’s still lifeless eyes and Raymond's helpful commentary about my cowardice becauseof the lack of blood during my murders at bay.
I type out many rejection messages, ranging from one-word to long paragraphs, and erase them all. Then start up the process again.
By the time someone knocks on my office door—a sudden noise that makes my soul leave my body because I was too focused on typing out a revealing text that I knew I would never send to anyone, let alone Nicholas—I have tied myself in a tight loop.
The door slams open without my permission to a wide-eyed, concerned-looking Nicholas. “You okay?” he asks.
“It’s proper to wait for permission to enter after knocking, Nicholas,” I say, with no bite, because despite the rude entry, it is really nice to see him. Even with wide eyes and the rare frown, he looks good.Reallygood.
He smiles, small, not the wide grin that’s his default. “As if you give a fuck about proper behavior.”
I turn my laptop off and get up. “Got me all figured out, have you?”
His face goes all thoughtful, and he tilts his head. “Haven’t yet. But I will.” He smiles again, the grin finally making an appearance. “You ready to go?”
“Where are we going?” I ask belatedly, realizing this is the second time I’ve let Nicholas plan everything. The thought irks me. I don’t like not being in control. Surprising, I know. I hate how easily this man is taking it away from me. I really should have driven back home before he got here. Literal ghosting. I’ve done worse to men before.
Nicholas chews his lips nervously, drawing my eyes to them. I turn and check if all the lights are switched off.
“I thought I’d cook at my place?”
“Are you asking me?” I glance back at him.
“I’m giving you a choice to say no, probably in an extremely devastating, soul-crushing way,” he says, shaking his head.
“Howbaddo you cook?” I ask.
Nicholas laughs like I made the funniest joke. “Guess you’llfind out. Let’s go, Rhodes. I’m hungry.” He walks out.
I shrug and follow him, hitting the light on the way. Turns out I’m hungry too, definitely for more than food.
We drive separately because his offer of driving me back after dinner was totally absurd. It’ll inevitably turn into a late night because we’re definitely hooking up after dinner. By then, it’ll be late enough that I’ll have to offer to take a cab instead. And if I’m not even in the mood to be civil around Nicholas, I’d be an absolute menace stuck in a car for an hour with a stranger.
So, there’s no way I’m leaving my car behind. And I could definitely use a respite from his bright face. That face confuses me and tempts me to make stupid decisions.
I let him take my phone and put his address in the GPS before we leave, because telling him I already know where I’m going might raise a few red flags.
I drive slower than usual, letting him gain some distance. I wasn’t going to follow him like a stalker, and I’m too annoyed for the small talk we’ll have to make to fill the silence while he cooks.
And I know it’ll be a long silence because this can’t be planned. Nicholas is pretty transparent. I’m honestly surprised he is as successful as he is because it’s hard to imagine him interrogating with such an expressive face.
So, he hasn’t done any prep for this in advance. I have my doubts about his cooking skills, but even if he’s the best one in the world, it’ll take him quite some time to get a meal ready.
Despite all my best efforts, I make it to my destination in one piece. I even thought about stopping to buy wine to delay my arrival more, but that just seemed like an invitation to give him the wrong idea. Let’s keep it to what it is, a casual meal leading to a casual hook-up.
In fact, to hurry shit up, I can suggest ordering pizza, so I can be back home in my bed by eleven. That is, if I can convince Mr. I Do Casual Dates At Fancy Places.
I park on the street right in front of Nicholas’s building. Itake the elevator up to his floor after he buzzes me in. He’s standing barefoot with the door wide open when I get to his apartment with a goofy apron and a ladle in his hand. There goes my pizza plan. Most importantly, why is this man so cheesy, and why the fuck do I find it adorable? I haveneverfound any person adorable before.Fuck, I need some sleep.
A bark from behind him draws my attention away from Detective McStupid. I hurry inside so Mickey doesn’t take this opportunity to make a run for it. Not that he’ll be able to go far.
On cue, Mickey jumps on me, his paws resting on my chest. God, this dog is big.
“Mickey, down,” Nicholas says firmly, and to my utter surprise, Mickey climbs down. “I swear he likes you more than everybody else,” he comments.
Obviously, Nicholas, I helped him get away from his awful previous human. That earns me brownie points for life. “Yeah, animals love me,” I say instead, kneeling to give the good boy some pats.
