“Of course, pet.” He leaned in to press a quick kiss to Jasper’s forehead and then his lips. “Are you good?” When Jasper nodded, he let go and sat back. “Then I’ll pick you up this weekend. Let me know how things go tonight.”
Jasper grimaced as he unbuckled. “You could come over and see for yourself.”
“You need to work it out between yourselves, and I need to be at the club early.”
Jasper pushed the door open with a sigh. “Thanks for breakfast, Sir. I’ll call you tonight.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
JASPER TRIEDto focus on classes, but his mind kept wandering to last night and that morning. He still wasn’t convinced jealousy was, in fact, an acceptable response, and over a fucking cup of coffee, no less. Vincent wouldn’t have lied to him, but he was starting to wonder how far Vincent’s patience would go. Surely he wouldn’t want to spend the next year dealing with Jasper’s shortcomings as a sub.
He had to do better. He didn’t want Vincent getting fed up with him before he had the chance to really explore any of this—kink and relationship both.
After his classes, Jasper set up in his bedroom to study. He put his headphones on with some violin music and tried not to think about the conversation—that is, lecture—that would likely happen during or after dinner. He hated having to apologize for being a dick, though at least it was happening less often than a couple of years ago.
There was a knock on his door a few hours later. “Jasper,” Amber called. “Dinner.”
“Coming.” He closed his notebooks and took a breath. He didn’t mind tough conversations exactly, but he had a feeling it would be more embarrassing than anything.
Once in the kitchen, he filled a plate with broccoli-and-cheese casserole and settled at the table. Reiko and Matt were missing, but Keith was there with Terrance and Amber. He poked at his food, waiting for the others to get settled before speaking. “I’m sorry I was a dick this morning.”
Terrance cleared his throat. “And I’m sorry if I overstepped. I didn’t know you had service as part of your contract.”
He shrugged, feeling even more like an ass. “I didn’t until this morning.”
Terrance raised an eyebrow and shared a look with Amber. “You’re really jumping all in.”
“Is that bad?”
“It’s notbad, but….” Amber trailed off with a sigh. “There is such a thing as escalating too quickly. You can get overwhelmed or burn yourself out trying everything all at once.”
“I’m already overwhelmed,” Jasper muttered, stabbing at a piece of broccoli.
“What do you mean?” Keith asked.
He grimaced as he jabbed at his food again. “I keep fucking up.” This morning was the worst fuckup so far, and he was sure he’d only get worse. He could already feel the helpless panic scratching its way up his spine. The anxious knot in his stomach wasn’t nearly as bad as when he’d broken down in front of Vincent, but it was there.
No matter what Vincent said about still giving him a new contract, sooner or later he’d fuck up so bad there was no recovering. He didn’t even get why Vincent wanted him to begin with. He was a decade younger, he deliberately pushed Vincent’s buttons, and he wasn’t a decent sub. He didn’t even know what all he liked or didn’t like yet.
“He should hate me by now.” None of his relationships had ever lasted this long, contract or no.
His father had made it abundantly clear he was worthless, that he’d never amount to anything. It wasn’t surprising that it extended even to being a sub or having any kind of relationship.
Before he could follow that thought into a downward spiral, Keith tapped his fork against his mostly empty plate. “You’re still figuring out what works for you. That takes time.”
“Also, you can’t ‘fuck up’ being a sub unless you completely give up on your Dom,” Terrance added, complete with air quotes.
Keith nodded. “No one can tell you how to be a perfect sub, Jas. Every relationship is unique.”
“You’re lucky you’ve found someone you’re comfortable exploring it with.” Amber sat back as Terrance cleared her plate. “As for this morning, apology accepted. But talk to us going forward. We’re in this together.”
Jasper ducked his head and nodded. “Sorry.”
“Now eat up so you can go report to Vincent,” Keith said, sounding amused.
Jasper looked up to see Keith smirking at him and rolled his eyes. “Is that common protocol or something?”
“Communication?” Keith asked with a soft laugh. “I’d be worriedif it wasn’t.”
