“You okay?”
A longer sigh and a moment of silence. “I don’t know.”
Jasper rubbed his hand back and forth. “Anything I can do?”
Vincent let out a soft hum that wasn’t really an answer.
When nothing else followed, Jasper slid his hand down farther, intent on distracting him with sex, but Vincent caught his hand as soon as he reached for the button of his pants. He winced and pulled his hand away, only for Vincent to tighten his grip and hold it in place.
“Stay.”
Jasper let out an explosive breath and slumped into Vincent’s warmth. If they weren’t having sex, that left talking. He needed to apologize, but the words were stuck somewhere near his gut, and he had to find a way to vomit them out. Two simple words. How could they be so hard?
His fingers twitched in Vincent’s hold, and he closed his eyes, taking a steadying breath. “’M sorry.”
Vincent squeezed his hand. “Sorry for what?”
“For lying.” He swallowed hard in the silence that followed, wondering if he’d gotten it wrong.
“Okay,” Vincent said quietly, his thumb brushing against the back of Jasper’s hand. “Though I’d like to know why you felt the need to lie in the first place.”
Jasper shrugged, pressing his face into Vincent’s stomach. “Matt,” he said, regretting it when Vincent immediately tensed, but he quickly forced the rest of the words out. “He said this would never mean anything to you. That you’d take what you wanted and then leave.”
“And you believed him.”
“I guess,” he said, wincing when Vincent let out another sigh. That one sounded aggravated.
“It’s not like I can blame you,” he said after a moment, and Jasper lifted his head with a frown, not liking the new tone in his voice. It was almost defeated. He didn’t like that Vincent’s arm was still covering his eyes either.
Vincent cleared his throat. “I would understand if you wanted to end the contra—”
“No!” Jasper moved without thinking, dread fluttering in his chest as he straddled Vincent and tugged his arm away from his face. Those gorgeous hazel eyes were wide and red-rimmed as they stared at Jasper.
“I don’t care,” he choked out, his fingers clutching Vincent’s shirt. “Whatever happened with you and Matt, I don’t care. It was ages ago, and you’ve never hurtme.” And Vincent obviously regretted it, or he wouldn’t be up here alone instead of taking advantage of his sub. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily, asshole.”
Vincent raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching into a ghost of a smile. “My mistake.”
Jasper huffed and relaxed, unable to maintain eye contact and focusing on Vincent’s lips instead. “I really am sorry,” he murmured. “Ithought… maybe space would be a good idea.” Especially after Matt so helpfully pointed out he was in love. Maybe it was lust? Wouldn’t it be better if he was merely obsessed and it faded after exploring a few more kinks?
He blinked at the light touch to his cheek, risking a glance up.
“I forgive you.” Vincent sat up and slid both of his hands into Jasper’s hair, tugging enough to force his head back. “Can you promise not to make this mistake again?” he asked, dragging his lips across Jasper’s exposed throat, which was more than enough to completely distract Jasper.
Why had he thought denying himself this for a weekend was a good idea? He tilted his head to add some pressure to Vincent’s grip and moaned, twisting his fingers tighter where he had latched on to Vincent’s shirt. That felt so good. How had he never realized how good a sprinkle of not-quite pain could be? The intense tingles along his scalp were like their own tiny orgasms.
“Jasper.”
Jasper blinked his eyes open, unsure when he’d even closed them, and managed to focus on Vincent. “Huh?” What was with the exasperated look?
Vincent’s lips twitched. “I asked if you could promise not to do this again.”
Could he promise that? He knew he had a bad habit of getting stuck in his own head, overthinking things, and then making things worse with his decisions. “I can try.”
Apparently that wasn’t good enough. Vincent shifted his grip, considering Jasper as his thumb traced beneath his lower lip. “Can you promise to tell me that you need space rather than making up a lie?”
He swallowed hard, the anxious energy that had started to build up fading at having a clear path to follow. That would be far easier. “Yes,” he whispered. He could do that.
Vincent nodded as if that were settled and returned his lips to Jasper’s neck. Jasper stared at the ceiling, his stomach a mix of giddy relief at getting through that without making it worse and a niggling worry that it had been too easy or wasn’t enough. “Shouldn’t I be punished or something?” he whispered, hoping he didn’t end up regretting that when Vincent stilled and pulled back to study him.
