My breath shortens.
He studies me for another beat, then nods slowly.
"It is natural to seek guidance in times of fear," he says. "Your devotion honors your mother."
He releases my hand at last.
"God sees a faithful heart," he continues. "He sees your efforts to remain pure. He will guide you through temptation."
His gaze holds mine once more, softer now.
"You are a good girl, Raveena."
The praise rings hollow in my ears. Still, I bow my head.
"Thank you, Father."
My grip tightens around the bottle until the glass bites faintly into my palm.
***
I do not remember the path back. The door strikes the wall as I push it open. I slip inside and close it hard behind me, as though something might follow.
The house holds its breath.
I drop the vial onto the table and fall to my knees before the cross. Forehead to floor.
"Lord have mercy."
The words spill out before I can shape them.
"Lord have mercy. Cleanse me."
I bow again. My knees strike the earth harder this time. The sting barely registers.
His voice threads through the prayer.
You are not made to live folded.
I press my brow to the floor once more.
"I renounce—" My voice cracks. "I renounce temptation. I renounce the snares of the adversary."
You follow the birds with your eyes until your neck aches.
My shoulders tense.
"I belong to You," I whisper. "Cleanse me."
The forest rises behind my closed eyes. His hands at my waist. The weight of him. The heat spreading low and slow and unbearable.
I bow again.
The boards scrape against my skin. My knees burn.
You do not wish to be bound to him at all.
"No," I breathe, though I do not know to whom I answer.
