“Bathroom breaks?” she asked, holding up her sparkly pen.
“Exception noted,” he conceded.
As he wrote the annotation inhiscopy, Seri added a small flourish to the page margin ofhercopy. From my angle, it looked like a doodle of Cas with a superhero cape. Koa’s shoulders shook with silent laughter, and I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Rule Number Twelve,” I interjected, leaning forward in my chair.
“We are proceeding innumerical order.” Cas shot me a glare that would have withered a lesser man, but I nutted up and continued.
“No letting Seri have any fun whatsoever.” I pitched my voice to mimic Cas’ serious tone. “Rule Number Who Cares. If Seri smiles, immediate evacuation procedures must be implemented.”
“I’m trying to keep her safe!” Cas said through gritted teeth.
“You know,” I drawled, stretching my arms above my head, “these are sounding less like field operation guidelines and more like ‘How To Babysit Your Witch Wife.’ ”
“Zane,” he warned, but I rolled my eyes.
His guidelines could suck balls. Our girl was a supernova in a world of nightlights, and no rules in the moon-damned multiverse could change that.
“Rule Number Four. Under no circumstances does Seri engage in combat.”
“But…” She paused, her pen hovering over the page. “What if one of you is in danger?”
“Especiallythen,” Ko interjected, his voice like gravel. “We can handle ourselves, beloved.”
“But—”
“No buts,” Cas said. “If you try to help and it fails, we’ll be distracted trying to protect you.”
I winced at his bluntness, but he wasn’t wrong. I caught Seri’s tense shoulders, the slight droop to her smile, and decided to do what I do best.
“Rule Number Five,” I announced, leaning forward. “No making friends with the monsters, Seri. I know how you are.”
“Zoodle!” Her eyes narrowed playfully. “I don’t make friends with monsters. Well, only you three.”
“And Brumous,” I pointed out. “He sleeps with you when we’re not home.”
“He has nightmares,” she protested.
“He’s a dire wolf.”
“Ababydire wolf. Withtrauma.”
“He’s nine months old,” Ko muttered dryly.
“Still a baby,” she said with a shrug.
Cas cleared his throat, clearly trying to regain control of his meeting, but there was tenderness in his eyes as he watched Seri decorate the page.
“TherealRule Number Five. Seri will maintain a minimum distance of fifty feet from any unknown magical artifact or entity.”
“Fifty feet?” she pouted. “That’s half a football field. I won’t be able to see anything.”
“That’s the point. Observation from a safe distance.”
“How am I supposed to help identify anything if I can’t get close enough to see it?”
“That’s where I come in, pixie.” I tapped my temple, trying to salvage this. “Telepath, remember? I’ll show you what we see.”
