Koa’s arm slipped around my waist, steadying me as a wave of exhaustion threatened to buckle my knees.
“Let’s get you cleaned up.” Concern darkened his eyes as he took in the dirt and blood, most of it not mine, that stained my clothes.
“I’m okay. Just tired.”
“I’mstill processing,” Zane said, a note of wonder in his voice. “Our little moonbeam went and ganked the big bad witch.”
“Perfectly, too.” The pride in Casimir’s eyes was unmistakable, and my chest filled with warmth.
Once in our room, Casimir went into my bathroom and started the shower while Zane helped me out of my filthy clothes, for once without a suggestive comment. Koa gathered towels, the softest we had, and laid them out on the counter. The care they showed me wasn’t new. They’d been attentive from the beginning, but there was something different in it now. A shift in the dynamic I couldn’t quite name.
As we all stood under the steaming water from four rainfall shower heads, I studied Casimir. He was scrubbing me down with his usual seriousness, but there was a new softness around his eyes.
“What?”
“You’re different,” I said, and a flicker of surprise crossed his face.
“How so?”
“When I first came here, you weretoocontained.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Like you were afraid to let anyone see beneath the surface. I was afraid it was because you didn’t care.”
“I’ve always cared,” he mumbled.
“I know thatnow, Simmy.” I brought his knuckles to my lips, kissing them. “But you’re not afraid to show it anymore. At least not with me or your brothers.”
He was silent for a moment, considering.
“Before you, I thought vulnerability was a weakness I couldn’t afford, a luxury,” he finally admitted. “I was wrong.”
“The great Casimir Leif Cimmerian, admitting he was wrong?” Zane gasped, flicking a line of soap bubbles at him. “Mark the calendar, folks. Historic moment.”
But there was a brittleness in his teasing that made me search his face. His usual smirk was there, but his eyes were too bright.
“Come here, Zoodle.” I held out my other hand.
“Good thing we got this shower expanded,” he muttered as he moved closer.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” He didn’t quite meet my eyes. “We won. Dark witch dead, good guys victorious. Happily ever after and all that—”
“Z,” Cas warned.
“Fine. I was scared, okay?” Zane ran his free hand through his wet hair, slicking it back. “When we got there and saw you lying so still in Foster’s arms, I thought—” He broke off, swallowing hard. “And it sucked.”
“It was terrifying,” Casimir admitted. “For all of us.”
I was stunned. Not by the admission that they’d been afraid since I’d been terrified myself, but by Zane’s willingness to say it aloud. When I first met him, he would have deflected with a joke, hidden his fear behind a wall of sarcasm. Now he was letting me see it, raw and unfiltered.
“I’m sorry I scared you, but I had to do it.”
“We know.” Koa wedged his face between Zane and Casimir’s shoulders. “And we’re proud of you. Still, Z’s right. Knowing you faced her alone is one of the hardest things we’ve ever had to accept.”
“You were fighting the Gravewrought,” I reminded them. “We all had our parts to play.”
“And we played them well,” Casimir agreed, “but that doesn’t mean it was easy.”
I looked at them, my fierce, protective husbands, and saw vulnerability. Something I’d never expected to see. They’d been my strength for so long, my anchors in a storm-tossed sea, but here they were, letting me see their fear, their worry.
