But where is it going to go later if I shift forms?
There’sa period of quiet as we all dig in, but soon they start talking about life updates and funny anecdotes with their significant others.I listen for the most part with a smile on my face, and they all make an effort to include me, despite not having much to add to the conversation.
Almost anhour after everyone is done eating, Simone announcesshe’smeeting the other witches to see a movie. After that, Joanna heads back to the farm and Raegan walks across thestreet to the bookstore to start her shift. And whenI’mfinally alone again, I think to myself,this could work.
This whole afterlife thing might not be that complicatedafterall.
Chapter Twenty-One
THEO
There’snot a damn thing left in these cupboards.
I started my search this morning in hopes of finding something of substance for Kennedy, but other than an expired can of peas, my efforts proved to be fruitless. She mentioned last nightthat she wanted to try eating in her physical body, so I washopingthere’dbe something on the premises. But alas, I forgot that anything worth eating would have disintegrated with time.It’sbeen solongtherearen’teven the remnants of bugs in the pantry. Everything is but air and dust, and nowI’mfinally starting to see the stateI’vebeen living in all these years.
Left alone with my haunting thoughts, again, I wonder how long Kennedy will be gone today.I’msuddenly feeling motivated to clean up, but Idon’tknow how much differenceI’llbe able to make in a day, especially without supplies.
I consider reaching out to Aidan, but it occurs to me thatI’veneverdone so before. Aidan’s visits have always been sporadic and without warning. Thatdoesn’tmeanI’mnot happy to see him when he does come by, but now I wish I had a way of contacting him.
I could…leave…
Going outsidewasn’tas terrible asI’dbuilt it up to be in my head, and being back in my physical body again has me feeling cooped up in a house that used to be my sanctuary. But what if Ican’tforce myself past the edge of the forest? Ihaven’tseen thestreetlightsorhearda bustling crowd inalmost acentury. Idon’ttrust myself enough to dive inhead-firstlike that.
Butperhaps there’sanother way. There are various points of connection within the void—places where someone has died and created a door of sorts, connecting the spirit world and the physical plane.It’swhy the witches chose my house to summon Kennedy. To my knowledge,there’sat least one other place nearby that has seen death. Iknow, becauseI was there. And it just so happens to be connected to Aidan’s home.
Ilet go of the bodyI’vebeen holding onto for the past twenty-four hours.It’sdisheartening, but now that I can confidently withstand being insidemyphysical form, I knowI’llbe able to do it again.
My extremities fade first, leaving just the wispy remnants of my upper torso and chest visible, before finally the house fades, andI’mback inside the void.
It’snot all pitch blackness and falling through nothingness onceyou’vegotten the hang of navigating it.Now that I know my way around,it’smore akin to a mirror world than a vast nothingness, though it can definitelystillfeel that way.I relied on that empty nothingness for a long time, but now that I no longer need it, I can see thespiritrealm for what it is.
I can sense thatI’mnear the house, because of the energy it emits. The same goes with feeling a proximity to humans. Their spirit, or their souls,radiatelike a beacon in this realm, soit’seasy to follow themif need be. Another ghost, on the other hand, is more complicated. Because their souls have been released froma bodyand no longercontained, they tend to bemuch harder to track.Butnotimpossible. If I truly wished, andperhaps withthe help of another witch, I believe I could track down Kennedy. Butthat’snot whatI’mhere to do.
Instead, I focus on the spirit I know to be Aidan’s.Hiswasodd, andrefracted much differently against the muted plane than others while he was suspended in an ageless existence. But now thathe’smet his mate, and has begun aging again to match her, he appears more like a human. I concentrate on the faint pulse of his newly pumping heart that I recall from his last visit. The sound is just barely discernible against the symphony of others in Shadow Hills, butit’sthere. I reign in the familiarthumpthumpthump, and then in the distance, a glowing white orb appears.
I follow it, passing by all the other orbs slowly appearing out of the fog. When I finally reach Aidan’s, I knowit’shisby the silver thread linking him to Joanna, wherever she is. Heappears to bein his house, but the only way I can venture to the mortal plane is through the door in the movie theater. Itwasn’ta theater when the door was created, but something much darker. I can still hear the screams of the dozens of witches who perished by fire.
AsI approach, Ihave topush past the memories that come rushing to the surface.Now is not the time for facing my demons, so I force my way through the intangible curtain separating the realms and appear in the front row of the theater.
A filmis playing, andIrealizethere’sa small crowdwatching it. The loudness of the speakers pierces myeardrums, butcovering my ears does nothing to help me in this form. Irushout the door and into the lobby. There arelesspeople here, but a few stragglers buying popcorn and candy notice me. Their stunned faces lock in on mine and suddenlyI’mfrozen to the spot. Idon’tknow what to do.Aidanisn’there,andI’vestupidly thrown myself into something Iwasnotready for.
Panic seizes me, and I feel as if my throat is being squeezed closed.I’msuffocating, even though Idon’tneed the air. The sensation alone is enough to make me feel likeI’mgoing to pass out. The room goes hazy, and for a second, I thinkI’veslipped back into the void, but then a familiar face appears in front of me.
Simone’s deep brown eyes focus on me as a frown overtakes her features.I’mstill in a vacuum with my panic, so I try to anchor myself by centering my gaze on her smooth brown skin and cheeks tinted with a peachy pigment. Braids dangle over her forehead while the rest are pulled into an updo with a bright orange head scarf.
“Theodore.” Her voice is calm. “How did you get here?”
Idon’tthink I can form a coherent sentence right now, but sheseems to understand.
“Are you looking for Aidan?”
She’s smart, and I couldn’t be more grateful.
The rest of my surroundings slowly start to come back into view. I see Simoneisn’talone. A small group of women, including Calliope, are waiting off to the side of wherewe’retaking up space in the middle of the lobby.Calliopestares daggersat me, and Icouldn’tagree with hermore.
How dare I stand where they stood?
Simone turns to one of them and says, “Go down to Aidan’s and tell him Theodore’s here.”
