I'mexhausted, but I want her toknowI’mreal. I pullevery lastounce of energy I have left into channelingmybody.Her eyebrows lift as she watches the transformation, then after both of my feet areplantedfirmlybackto the floor, she reaches out a hand. I take it without question, and she rushes to hug me. Thefeelof my sister’s arms around me breaks me. Suddenly all the grief I feel for my old life comes crashing down and Ican’tstand it. I purge every tear that forms and let them stream down my face.I hate this feeling, but I know I have to experience it in order to move on.
Claudia holds me tighter when she hears my sobs. I feel her body shaking and knowshe’scrying too. My fingers grip her back, tangling in the long strands of blond hair I used to be so jealous of. For so long, I wanted to be just like my sister—dozens of wishes on shooting stars were for me to switch places with her—but now, all I want is to stand beside her. Ishouldn’thave wasted so much time being jealous of her successes. I should have spent that timecheeringher on instead. I let our mom get betweenus, whenwe should have been on the same side.
Butit’snot too late. Coming back as a ghost has given me a second chance at being a good sister, and this timeI’mnot going to let her down.
“I’m so happy you’re here,” she cries into myshoulder,her voice muffled against my sweater.
I sniff and wipe away the rest of my tears. “Me too.”
We pull apart and share silly grins, then wesqueezeeach other one more time.
When we finally separate, Claudia rolls her eyes animatedly and says, “There wasn’t anyone better for you to haunt, huh?”
I feel the dynamic between us sliding back into place like a missing puzzle piece, and I laugh. “Well,Icouldn’thaunt Mom. She wouldhavesagedthe house to shit and banished me.”
“Oh,she’s got a preacher boyfriend to do that for her now.”
I freeze. “You’re kidding,” I say with disbelief.
Claudia nods proudly. “Ohyeah. She goes to church every Sunday now. You would think Jesus came back and invited her himself.She’scompletelyturneda new leaf. I justhaven’tfigured outwhether or notit’sfor the better.”
I burst out laughing. “But we’ve never been religious!”
“She is now,” Claudia says, stifling her scoff.
There’sso much I missed while I was holding on to my grudge, but I hope with this second chanceI’vebeen given that I can catch up on some of it.
“Does she ever visit you?” I ask. “In Shadow Hills?”
“I think she’s only been to the house once. That was when I was dating that Grant guy, but we’ve been broken up for a couple of years. But I go to her house about once a month. We have dinner. It’s nice.”
I chew on mylip. “Is she still in the same place?”
“Yep,” she confirms. “After I quit dancing, I asked if she wanted to move back to Shadow Hills, but she said she was too old to start over again.”
Ican’tcontain the gasp that leaves me. “You quit dancing? When?”
Claudia sighs. “I was twenty-two. My back became a big problem. Icouldn’tkeep up with the demand it had on my body anymore.”
This hurts to hear, knowing my sister lost out on her dreamand Iwasn’tthere with her.“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay!”sheinsists, then she looks at me seriously. “You know it was never my idea to start dancing, right? That was allMom.”
My stomach drops. “What do you mean?”
All this time, I thought the only reason Claudia put up with my mother’s strict demandsofher was because she wanted it too.
“She put us both in those classes when we were little, remember?” Claudia says. “Neither one of us wanted to keep up with it, but the teacher told mom I had natural skill, or something like that, so she convinced me to keep going.”
“I… I forgot about that.” Now I remember telling my mom Ididn’twant to go tothe classanymore. But I thought for sure Claudia had asked to continue. “Why did you stick with it for so long?” I ask.
Claudia’s face appearsstricken. “It made her happy.”
Mom. It made Mom happy.
I know thatdesireall toowell;I shared it for the longest time. Until I finally realized there wasnothingI could do toplease her, andI gave up.
“But what about you?”shedemands, shaking my shoulders. “When we got the call...IthoughtI’dnever see you again. I had so much to say.”
