Chapter One
KENNEDY
Acreak at my door has my head shooting up.
Claudia stands at the threshold with red, swollen eyes and clutching a tissue in her right hand.My sister stopped coming into my room when she startedballet, whenour personalitiesbegan to diverge.
Seeing her at my door, I know something isn't right.
Iputmy journal downon the desk in front of me.My words stare back at me, the black ink noting my most recent job search failures doing nothing to calm me.I rarely see my little sister cry, not even when she broke her legattemptingto mimic me doing backflips on the trampoline.The few tears she cried when our dog, Lucy, died, barely counted. So, to see her now, it feels like I should look away.Like I'minvading her privacy, even while sitting in my own bed.We’vebeennearly strangersover the past few years, so the fact thatshe’scome to me with somethingis a big deal.
Iremainsilent as I watch her take a seat at the end of my bed, hand wiping at her eyes. As I turn back to my desk to close my journal, my eyes land on the words written in sparkly, pink gel pen.Strange.But wait...
Ihadn’tbeen writing about my hopeless job hunt;the page is filled with love notesabout a boy named Kyle.
Brows drawing together in confusion,I turn back to my sister, openingmy mouthto speak, butI’minterrupted by a wave of sobs from Claudia.I get up from my desk and movetosit onthe bedbeside her.The old mattress groansunder my weight, but shedoesn’tacknowledge me.
“What happened?” I ask,keeping my voice low so as not to spook her.
She doesn’t respond, only shakes her head, and I understand she probably doesn’t want to talk about it, whateveritis. So, instead of trying to get her to speak, I take her hand.
Only…I can’t seem to get a good grip.
My fingers slid right through hers like water.
“Claudia?”
I try to stay calm for her, but Ican'tkeep the fear from my voice or my eyes from growing larger the longer I try to grasp her.
“What’s going on?” I ask, hoping either Claudia or an omnipotent god will answer me.
Taking in my room, I see glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the walls, framing my window. They’re yellowish-white as they patiently soak in the sun. The room still felt like mine only moments ago, but now I see the layer of dust that’s formed on the windowsill and the surface of the desk. It looks just like my childhood bedroom, and if that’s the case, I haven’t been here for a very long time.
This has to be a dream.
I face Claudia again, this timereaching foreither side of her face,willing my handstoshake her. For just a moment, I thinkI’vemanaged to really do something, butlike before, my hands sink through her as ifI’mnot even here.
What kind of nightmare is this?
Patting myself down, I take assessment of my physical state. Everythingfeelsnormal, but why can’t I touch my sister?I’msitting on my bed, which meanssomelaws of physics are still at play here. I test my limits,goingto the window andpullingback the curtain. I slide my desk chair out from its designated spot and then slide it back.
I can make things move, but I can’t touchher.
As I turn to Claudiawhere she weeps on the end of my bed, Ican feelsomething strangegoing on, andI’mdesperate to understand what my subconscious is trying to tell me. Dreams are our brain’s way of coping with real life, right? Only I’veneverdreamedthis vividly before and never about my sister.
Maybesomeone’splaying a practical joke on me, or this could be some wild attempt at an intervention.I can definitely see my mother trying to teach me a lesson about the consequences of my actions.Sure,I’vedistanced myself from both her and my sister as an adult, but itwasn’tnecessarily a conscious decision. It justsortof happened.
Life does that sometimes. People grow apart.
So, why would I need to be punished with such a cruel trick?
No. Thatcan’tbe it. It must be a dream. If this is just some bizarre nightmare,surelyI’mseconds away from waking up. I just need to give myself a little pinch.
As my sister continues to sniffle quietly to herself, I grab a chunk of skin on my forearm and squeeze.It’smuch harder than a typical pinch should be, but I need results.
Shit!
If I were awake, I would have definitely caused a bruise.I rub the sensitive skin, trying to massage the pain away, and suddenly Claudia looks up.She’sstaring right at me,brightblue eyes swimming in tears.
