Awesome, then bring on the night, because I need to make a Daphne-proof plan to get news to Gwyneth and the Stirlings that I am alive.
Chapter
Four
Frank and Linda leave me with strict instructions to stay inside for the evening. Apparently, the ocean has a darker side that comes out at night, and it would corrupt my meager Burgher brain to witness it. They are unaware that I’m not a prized Hallowed with a pampered rear end who can’t even dress herself. Nope, I am Daphne Stone of Strongfair, and I battle dragons and thwart Prince Poopfloofs. I also grow beanstalks and set fires, but that was off topic.
The house walls have a blue, sparkly glowing substance infused into them. They shift when I touch them, making me believe they are teeny tiny living lights. So very cool. Gwyneth would have her big brain on show as she discovered and explained what these things were. A pang of loneliness strikes my chest. In the meantime, I can admire their beauty and marvel at the mini creatures living in my home, meaning I am far from alone. They don’t speak, though—I’ve already tried. Either they can’t understand me, which is understandable given they must have tiny brains, or they are ignoring me.
I yawn and stretch my arms as I make my way to my bedroom. I need to check if the bed is the equivalent cloud-like piece of furniture that the Hallows has. If not, I will lodgea complaint with, well, whoever takes complaints. I could tell Poseidon, but he would either wonder who the Blazes I am, or command me to wait for him in his bed.
I need to pee, and nobody thought to explain where the Blazes I should do that. My lips purse as I ponder my predicament. Can I just urinate outside? Pooping might be a bigger issue, but I could postpone dealing with it until tomorrow. I think.
As I head toward a set of double doors leading out to an oceanic garden, I stop for a moment in front of a large mirror located beside them. I tilt my head and lean toward my image. I resemble myself, yet I don’t. Daphne, butother.I suppose that’s to be expected, given I can now breathe underwater, and I’ve become a main character in a narrative. But no amount of reflection staring is going to relieve my bladder.
After slipping out of my underwear and wrapping them around a bedpost to prevent them from floating away—I don’t want to attract a reputation as a lady with loose skirts, after all—I fling the doors open and check the ocean for any sneaky creatures. All clear. Hopefully, it’s not a crime to pee in your own garden.
I take two steps out of the door and lift my skirts with a laugh at my reflection in the mirror. The bubbles leave my mouth and float up and away. Wait. If my bubbles rise, surely my urine will as well?
Ew. I would be surrounded by my pee. Everyone, without fail, has peed in a pond, lake, or ocean. If they say they haven’t, they are liars. But in those cases, their faces weren’t in the water. Um, okay. So my floof needs to be above my head. Easy peasy. I just need something to anchor myself with. I grab the door handle and kick my legs so my body floats off the floor. A little higher.There.I sigh as the first trickle of pee leaves my body. Sweet relief.
“Oh, most fair Daphne. I have found you.”
I jerk my head up and find my mirror man staring out at me. My heart squeezes at seeing his familiar face. “Dude, you’re here.”
“What are you doing? Oh.Oh.” He actually blushes. The guy has seen me naked more times than anyone else, and he’s embarrassed about a little pee? We all have our limits, I guess. But I can’t stop midstream—that’s impossible. That’s like trying to eat half a sausage and saving the rest for later. Stupid and impossible. Devour the whole thing and get another if you wish. Plenty of sausage in the Hallows to go around.
“Don’t look,” I grumble.
He sneezes. Since when did he do that? “I need to report back to Glenda that you are safe and well. She made me promise.”
When will this pee end? “Okay, you go do that. I should be done by the time you return.”
“You are still the most fair.”
Aww, my mirror man is reassuring me I have a pretty floof. It’s what every maiden needs to hear.
“Thanks. Now go tell Gwyneth I’m alive, and following that, return here. I have so much to tell you.”
He salutes me before vanishing. The pee that never ends continues for another half a tempo. Before I can right myself, a mystical muscular purple being with a top knot poofs into existence beside my head.
“Well, that’s embarrassing,” he mutters as his nose twitches. Can he smell my pee? Oh my Idols. Will the entire ocean know I did my business in the garden?
“Genie, while I’m super happy to see you, can you give me a little privacy while I finish up?”
He rolls his eyes and spins around as I fight to place my feet on the floor. With my floof safely tucked under my skirts, I enter my bedroom.
“Come on in,” I grumble.
The genie follows me and inspects my bedroom like a nosy inspector. I close the doors and sink onto the bed. Ohhh, extra soft.
“How did you find me?”
“Mirror man has been searching everywhere that has a mirror for you. Spoke to a squid named Maisy who gave him some cryptic clue, which he somehow translated and led him here.”
This is why we make friends.
“Is Gwyneth okay?” I check.
