“Shock and horror,” I say. My sarcasm flies right over His Majesty’s head. “How did you get here?”
“One of the knights said my Gwyneth was too busy with the Land of Reflection to allow me to honor her with my company.”
I resist the urge to laugh at that. He still thinks he’s honoring her with his presence? “And that led you here?” Seems like a leap.
“No, that led me to my mirror, who informed me that there was indeed a maiden most fair who had entered their realm. So I made a deal and followed her.”
“That maiden was me.”
“I see that now.”
I slide down to my butt and cross my legs, doing my best to ignore the damp rotten smell in the air. If talking to Prince Poopfloof helps with that, then so be it. “What deal?” He stays silent for a tempo or two before releasing a long sigh and mumbling something. “What? I didn’t hear you.”
He grumbles under his breath, and I’m a split tempo away from ignoring Prince Poopfloof when he announces, “I agreed to organize an annual royal parade dedicated to mirrors, with an emphasis on their contribution to our society. I promised I would ride on a giant mirror at the center of the parade while hollering ‘thank you for reflecting me.’”
I snort into the darkness. “That’s brilliant. I can’t wait to witness it.”
“If you didn’t cause chaos and stumble into every narrative you touch, perhaps I would have already won Gwyneth’s heart, and we would be wed and ruling my kingdom.”
I shake my head and smile. “Gwyneth is her own person. If you think she is at all influenced by anything other than her stubborn, intelligent brain, then you don’t know her at all.”
“Then help me.”
I tilt my head. “Help you what?”
“How do I woo such a woman? What does she desire? Riches? Jewels? Power?”
A chuckle escapes me. “Gwyneth desires a true heart and a strong mind. Someone who can match her quick wit and whip smart thoughts. She doesn’t lust after glitter and gold. She wants to feel challenged but supported in her quest for knowledge.”
“I already know she’s a bookworm.”
“You aren’t getting it, Charming. Gwyneth isn’t just a bookworm. She enjoys expanding her horizons. She simultaneously has respect for history and wants to document the present. I might stumble into adventures, but she wants to witness and record it for future generations. You don’t woomy sister with the typical trinkets that have gotten you into a maiden’s bed before. She’s a complex woman with complex needs.”
“This all sounds very complicated and difficult.”
“And that’s why you will never be the right man for her. If you were, it wouldn’t be such a turnoff to put in the bare minimum to impress her.”
He mutters a few words too low for me to understand. “That’s just the problem,” he finally says. “For the first time in my life, I want to put the effort in. I want to impress her. I want her gaze to soften for me like yours does for the Stirlings. What did they do to deserve it?”
My heart clenches at the sound of their name. “When people are compatible, it isn’t difficult to figure out how to make their pieces fit. They are simply two parts of a whole that were always meant to come together. It should be effortless.”
Or five pieces of a whole in my case. Perhaps it was clumsiness that created five parts where most have two.
“I understand what you are saying, but that person also has to be open to it, and right now, your sister is so consumed with saving you, she isn’t allowing herself the opportunity to see if we are indeed meant to be. I can’t shake the feeling that letting her go would be the worst mistake of my life.”
Does Prince Poopfloof have a heart? Am I dreaming? I pinch my arm. Nope, still here in the land’s dungeon, awaiting my mirror man to wake up and confirm that I am not a violent maiden.
“If you are truly intent on proving yourself worthy, you need to put her needs above your own. If she is consumed with saving me, then show your support, not your derision.”
Charming hums. “That seems like solid advice.”
Will wonders never cease? I actually gave advice. However, all the advice in the world won’t help Charming if my sister isdead set on not allowing him to be in her life. I pick at the hem of my dress. I could give him a little help. He’s all wrong for my sister, and I am sure anything I tell him will not persuade her otherwise. Apparently, however, I am a sucker for the prospect of true love. If he’s right and I am blocking the way for Gwyneth finding her own happily ever after, then I need to counteract it. Of course, there is the tiny detail of my eyes being pecked on as they say their vows, but I’m sure there is a workaround. Perhaps we could march corpses down the aisle. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind getting their eyeballs pecked out.
“She likes the color pink. A deep pink, not the pale one or the bright one, the one bordering on red.”
“Pink, got it. What else?”
I can’t believe I am helping him. “She’s always wanted to visit the hot springs. We only had the pond in Strongfair to bathe in. At best, it’s lukewarm. At worst, freezing.”
