“I’m so sorry for my decisions, my actions, and my gullibility. This world is so much bigger, brighter, and bolder than you can conceive, Eleanor, and your place in it is to be so much more than a wife to a vicious narcissist.”
I don’t understand all of Mama’s words, but her tone and twisted set of her lips makes my heart race. I grip her trembling wrists and swallow. “I love you.”
She jerks her head once. “And me you, but now we have to run. We don’t stop. We don’t question. We don’t look back. Do you understand?”
I drag my bottom lip between my teeth and nod.
She hands me my boots, and I pull them on as she does the same. She spins me around and secures one backpack to my body, the weight awkward and heavy.
“This is like when you play with the younger ones. Imagine it’s little Laura on your back, and you are racing to not get caught.”
My mother has been insisting my duties include schooling the smaller children. I thought it was to prepare me for my own venture into motherhood. Now, I’m questioning everything.
She inches open the door and peers into the dark hallway, one hand held out behind her in a silent command to wait. No monsters appear, though my heart thrums in my chest as the reality of what we are doing sinks in. We are escaping. From this life. From the pain. From my impending nuptials. Like we always said.I’m equally excited as I am terrified. If we get caught… No. I can’t think like that. The fear will paralyze me.
She widens the gap and glances at me over her shoulder, her features hard and determined as she fights for a better future for us. “Ready?”
I nod and follow her out of the room, my feet treading the careful path, avoiding the creaky floorboards. I freeze outside of James’s room. Are we leaving my brother? Shouldn’t we take him with us? My breathing stutters in my chest, my vision darkening around the edges.
“Eleanor,” my mother whispers from the top of the stairs.
I blink at the door separating me from my brother. He was upset as he carried me home. I could see it in his gaze, even if he kept the words locked inside.
I lick my lips as my hand raises to the handle. He should at least have the option?—
“No,” my mother whisper yells. My fingers curl into a fist, and I freeze. “He’s in too deep, Eleanor. I waited too long. I can’t save him, but I can save you.”
My head hangs heavy towards my chest, and I turn away from his door, following my mother down the stairs. She leads us through the sitting room, away from the front door, towardthe kitchen. A shadow moves, and a scream of shock gets stuck in my throat.
“Where do you think you are going?” James drawls like he couldn’t care less about our intentions. It’s an act though. He cares, I can feel it. I’m not even surprised he has found us in the dark— he’s always had a sixth sense when it came to hide and seek with me, finding me in impossible places, supernaturally fast. Perhaps it’s the sibling bond?
My shoulders sag as my mother’s hand freezes on the back door. “Let us go, James. Tonight is the start of a life of pain and torment for your sister. You know it will end with her death—whether that’s physical or mental, she will be dead in months if she’s lucky, years if she’s not.”
“He knows you are going to run.”
Mama stiffens, her knuckles going white against the handle. “How?”
“You carry the air of defiance in your eyes, Mother.”
She hesitates, her heavy breath filling the air. “I have to try.”
“You’ll get both of you killed.”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take. Better to die fighting for freedom than slowly suffocating in this life of horror.”
Heat blooms in my chest as my mother validates everything I have felt over these years. I’ve become an expert at bottling my independent thoughts and covering the disgust that satures my soul at the hands of these men. By gifting me with knowledge of the world beyond these walls, my mother also cursed me with a lust for a life I thought I’d never have. Now we are going to try reaching for that future. It’s so close I can almost taste it.
He steps out of the shadows, and I see the boy I grew up with is in charge. That icy shield is lowered. He’s free. He tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear as he gazes at my face. “You will probably be caught, Eleanor.”
“James,” my mother snaps.
“She should know the consequences.”
“It’s okay,” I tell him.
He shakes his head and sighs. “If he catches you, you will not see the light of the sun again. Do you understand?”
It’s not a threat, merely the truth, one that holds no power over me. What is the point of being allowed in the sun if you are not free to fly?
