“Was it his lack of skill or down to you not wanting to come with him?”
“Do you work for Gail?”
“Who is Gail?”
“My therapist.”
“No, I do not work for Gail.”
The Asian woman in the seat in front of him turns around and meets my eyes. She’s somewhere in her forties with a sleek black bob and perfectly done makeup. “Men take training, honey, you have to guide them to what you like. Every one of us is a unique road map. We all want to reach the same destination,but the journey is part of the joy. If you are very lucky, you will find someone who takes you on a different trail and opens your eyes to a new world.”
The guy nods. “I agree, but I would also say a good man will at least know this and take their time to learn from the get-go. Otherwise, you aren’t ever getting past that first time.”
My index finger taps against my bottom lip. “You are saying I have to stay with someone longer to figure out if we are compatible.”
The woman shakes her head. “You will know if you want to stick around straight away.”
The guy tilts his head. “Right, and that spark will be enough to want to work on it.”
Do I want to work on it? Working on it means I have to delve deeper, let them in further. It invites vulnerability. I’m not sure if that’s ever in the cards for me. I want to be wowed in the bedroom, but I don’t want the mess that spills out into my life. I like my life as it is; being responsible for someone else’s feelings is suffocating.
“If he does something that gives you the ick the first night, then you aren’t compatible,” the woman adds.
I scrunch up my nose, sinking back in my seat to get away from the memory of last night.
“What did he do?” the guy asks with a slow smile. “Leave the toilet seat up?”
“Instant ditch,” the woman agrees.
“Leave his socks on?”
The woman shudders.
“No. He didn’t have socks. He was wearing boots with no socks. Who does that?”
“That invites chafing,” the guy agrees. “No one likes chafing.”
“He tried to stay the night.”
“That’s a bad thing?” the woman asks as she squints at me.
Another face appears from in front of me. A guy in his fifties, if the silver on his temples is anything to go by. “Women don’t want us to stay? Tell me, I’m curious if that’s where I went wrong in my latest encounter.”
“Depends,” I say. “He wanted to stay and delighted in telling me it was so I could have the great honor of making him breakfast in the morning.”
“Oh yeah, that’s a red flag,” the woman agrees, curling her nose at the thought.
“He should have offered to make you breakfast,” the older guy says.
I shake my head. “As an alternative, he offered to feed me his cum for breakfast.”
The three passengers blink at me, and we all burst out laughing.
The woman wipes away a stray tear leaking down her cheek.
“I despair of these idiots who think that’s appropriate and attractive behavior,” the guy next to me adds as his chuckles die away.
I grab my bright pink silicone friend sitting on the top of my open bag. “Luckily for me, and womankind, rechargeable no-nonsense friends don’t need any breakfast and are always here to pick up the slack.”
