The universe might be vast, but I have everything I need in the eyes of this woman.
Did someone bring a radio? No, technology dead zones normally extend to music players. William entertains us with mediocre guitar playing on these adventures, but that’s the extent of it. Unless he’s decided to get some serious lessons and a brand new voice, someone else is playing. I pick up the familiar notes of Linkin Park’sCrawling. They’re adding their own twist to the song. It’s emotional and fraught with pain.
My feet falter on the edge of the clearing, and I stop breathing. I’m behind Eleanor, but it’s clearly her hands moving on William’s guitar. The group has been shocked into silence, every set of eyes on my little hacker. She tears her soul apart for the world to see, taking us along for the ride. Cheryl wipes a tear from her eye, and William gapes at Eleanor like he’s never seen her before. While I’m shocked, I’m not confused. There are more layers to this woman than an onion. The tune changes, and she deepens her voice. It’s gritty, twisting my insides as araw version ofWicked Gamefills the space around the fire. If I wasn’t already on my knees deep for this woman, this rare glimpse into her heart would have finished me off. She pauses and gives us a stripped back first line of the second verse.
I edge around the clearing, not wanting to disturb the spell she’s cast, but needing to see her face. Her eyes are closed as she seamlessly weaves into another song with a smile on her face.I Knew You Were Troublelightens the somber mood.Apt, Eleanor.Her eyes flick open and zero in on me immediately. It pins me to the spot, both literally and figuratively. Rose giggles and gets to her feet, dancing to the punchy pop tune and breaking the spell. I lean against the tree and take in the woman I am madly in love with win over the gruff hearts of the bikers surrounding her. The song comes to an end, and I jerk my head in silent demand to follow me. I’ve shared her enough tonight.
She hands a grinning William his guitar back and blushes as he praises her playing and voice. My heart aches in my chest. She is extremely accomplished in so many things, yet has no one to tell her how proud they are of her.That has changed, trouble. I vow to tell you every day, from here until eternity, that you are loved and I am proud of everything you are.She walks straight into my arms, and I wrap the blanket around her shoulders. Does she realize how much she’s opened up to me in such a short space of time? How she isn’t just learning to trust, she’s taken a leap and is free falling without being able to see what’s at the bottom. I shouldn’t be surprised. She isn’t someone who does things by halves; she’s an all in or nothing kind of girl.
She fits perfectly against my body, molding her curves against my harsh planes as I lean down to steal a kiss. I pull away and weave our hands together, tugging her into the forest.
“Did you make sure the tent was sealed up?”
“Of course.” She really is terrified of spiders. It’s such a girly quirk, it makes me smile. “But I think bears are still an issue.” Her pace quickens, but I gently pull her back.
“You’re not funny.”
“I’m very funny.”
I lead her around the bend, away from the tent I pitched a little outside of the normal grounds. I want to do things that make her moan and scream later and don’t feel like catching shit about it in the morning. There’s a reason the grownups do one night out here alone before the kids join, and it isn’t because we want to chat.
“What about Charlie?” she asks, assuming we are about to head to bed.
“He’s bunking with Rose tonight.”
“Oh.” I know he’s part of whatever we started to build together, but I am not getting freaky with her in front of our dog.Our… that sounds right.
She jerks to a stop when she realizes I’ve brought her back to the water’s edge.
“Ever been skinny dipping, trouble?” I ask as I start pulling off my clothes.
She folds her arms and eyeballs my body. “Nope.” She pops the p with enough sass to make a teenager jealous.
“Then strip off, and let’s do this.”
She shakes her head. “Not going to happen.”
“No one can see us here, I promise.”
“Great. I’ll sit right here and wait for you.”
My arms come around her before she can drop to the sand. She’s trembling, each shake fracturing my heart. “What’s wrong?”
“Too many and too much emotion today. I can’t do another thing right now.”
This fear is deep, and the rage I feel for Jonathan rears its head once again. He’s taken something else from her, but I’m determined to give back everything he stole. I swipe the hair from her forehead and capture her gaze with mine. “If you trust me, I can show you things which will replace the memories holding you hostage, but you can’t do that by standing on the sidelines. Healing isn’t done by osmosis; you have to participate, Eleanor. Pretty sure you aren’t a coward, but maybe I’m wrong.”
“Goading me won’t work. I can’t swim. That’s not about trust, it’s about survival.”
“You can stand for the first fifteen feet. There aren’t any sudden drops, and I will be with you every step of the way.”
Her gaze darts to the water, then back to me, indecision written all over her face. I can’t force her; she will have to decide herself. I pushed her today, and I’m not surprised she’s feeling overwhelmed.
“Why don’t we get your clothes off first, then you can decide.”
Her head nods, her eyes darting between my own.
“Consent, trouble. It doesn’t matter that we’re not in the bedroom. I will always need your verbal response.”
