What’s most concerning is that Cheryl, probably the most powerful woman in this town, is under the spell of her husband. He has her convinced it’s because there would be riots if he flipped the tradition on its head. Lies. All lies. And so fucking close to how I grew up. At least Jonathan never hid that he considered us a lesser species born to serve at the feet of men. He worked hard to strip away everything that had the potential to give us power. Wealth, education, even speech.
It’s colder herethan our last settlement, but the grass is more lush, and the birds chirp louder than ever before, rejoicing at our company. It’s sad that I whisper my secrets to them, hoping my pain will be immortalized on their feathers, and that one day, the truth of our world will be shared with the masses and the people who cause us suffering will be judged. Even these thoughts are sinful; we aren’t allowed to fantasize about a different life, and we most certainly would be punished for hoping the men here were found to be in the wrong. It’s a consequence of Mama’s teachings, stories of a better worldbeyond these high walls that Jonathan protects us from. According to Mama, we are on the wrong side of that wall, but one day, she will show me how the ocean rolls against the shore as well as the wonders humanity has built, like the towers that reach into the sky as well as the boats that sink beneath the water to offer us a glimpse of another world. There is pain, confusion, and sadness beyond these walls. It is not a haven, Mama made sure I knew that, but it is worth it to be free to make our own paths, make our own mistakes, and pursue our own dreams.
For now, we have to bide our time, keep our deepest thoughts buried beneath layers of ice, and suffer at the hands of the men. Today is a hard lesson. Meredith dared question George’s actions. At least, that is what he declared. All I heard was a whimper of shock when he backhanded her during our last meal. She dripped some gravy on the table, likely because her hands were unsteady from the lack of food this past week. The women and children always got rations for a few weeks after we relocated because we needed to be careful with our food sources while new crops were planted and supply sources were tested by the men.
We were meant to suffer corrections in silence. Shouts, cries, whimpers, and pleas were not tolerated. Now, every unwed female over the age of twelve is suffering the consequences of Meredith’s slip-up. It might seem unfair to punish all for the crimes of one—a fear technique to keep us in line. However, Jonathan doesn’t understand that in uniting us in pain, he created a support system of understanding, meaning we were never alone.
The cold wind kisses the back of my bare thighs. My eyes catch on Meredith’s. She is in the same position directly in front of me. Two lines of eight girls, all kneeling, our hands boundbehind our backs and the rope tied to a tall post. The stretch is painful but not unfamiliar.
The men step between us, with George taking position between myself and Meredith. Her body shakes at the knowledge of what is to come. I try communicating some kind of comfort with my gaze, reminding her that while we suffer in silence, we don’t do it alone.
Jonathan stands on a raised dais behind Meredith’s line. “Tonight, one of you dared question the will of the men who support and love you. We protect you from the demons gathering at our gates, and all we ask is your subservience. It’s a small price to pay to be part of the Eden I create over and over again.” His eyes land on me, and I know I’m going to be treated to the wrath of our great leader. “It is my honor to deliver a reminder of one of the most important lessons of our great community, and one I am willing to suffer the difficulties of. This is not easy on us as men, but easy is not how we maintain grace. In the interests of being a lenient leader, I have decided to help you maintain this vow. Remember—silence is a gift.”
He jumps down from the dais, grabs something from my brother, and rounds the line of girls, disappearing behind me. The hairs on my nape prickle in warning as he stops behind me. Jonathan has been paying me a lot of attention recently, taking extra time to give me one-on-one lessons. Lucky me. It’s bred a seed of jealousy among some of the girls, thinking I am getting preferential treatment. I would happily swap places with any of them, so they would soon learn it is not a blessing having the attention of our leader.
Ice skitters down my spine a moment before Jonathan’s breath whispers against my ear. “Open your mouth, Eleanor.”
I do as he asks, and he slides a metal bar into my mouth, fastening it behind my head tight enough to make the cornersof my lips sting. There’s a hoop of deeper metal that presses my tongue to the floor of my mouth. Meredith has the same, and my heart skitters to a stop. It’s a horse bit. How fitting, since they treat us like animals. George loops a leather belt between Meredith’s and my bits, yanking hard and making both of our heads stretch forward while buckling them into place. He repeats with the other side, immobilizing our heads completely. Meredith’s wide eyes laser onto mine. Anything new is always met with trepidation, but I am guessing each and every one of us here is familiar with what comes next.
George steps from between us and accepts a long whip from another man.
“On my count, ten lashes,” Jonathan announces. That’s not the worst we’ve had. “Pause between to ensure they are silent.”
Fuck.
George licks his lips and grins.
“One,” Jonathan begins.
The first lash is like fire. It feels like I’ve been flayed to the bone, but I know he’s trained every single man here how hard to strike and not draw blood. Blood is messy. Wounds take time to heal, and they want us working the crops, not incapacitated in bed fighting infection. I suppose we should count ourselves lucky we are in the transition period. Another time, and this might have played out very differently.
“Two.”
My brother’s hand clenches, but he doesn’t look away. Doing so would result in punishment for him too. He swallows as he catches my gaze, and I try to communicate that it is okay. I understand he is as trapped as I am and don’t blame him for this.
“Three.”
I tear my gaze away from James and focus on a small bird perched on Meredith’s post, a silent witness to our pain.It doesn’t chatter like normal, as if it can sense the suffering. Unusual for it to be out at twilight, almost like it has been sent by a higher power. My body jolts at the steady onslaught, and tears streak down my cheeks, wetting my tongue.
“Seven.”
The fire has spread down my legs and up my spine. It could be that Jonathan has spread the lashes out, but he tends to lend toward keeping the same location. It makes for a longer lasting pain, something he enjoys as we continue to move around the compound. I will struggle to sit for a week, but I know later tonight I have another one-on-one lesson that will include sitting on a hard wooden chair, and much like now, I will be expected to bear the pain in silence. It makes us stronger and less likely to be influenced by the Devil, but I have been slowly coming to the understanding that the Devil resides in the man wielding the whip at my back.
“Nine.”
One more. George shifts to the side and narrows his eyes. Oh no... He arches his hand higher than normal, drawing it back so the lick of the black leather is a shadow against the darkening sky. I force my eyes to stay open and settle them on Meredith.Stay strong. Please, Meredith, stay strong.The whip comes down in slow motion. I don’t feel my own lash, but hers vibrates through my soul along with the cry wrenched from her throat, a delicate spray of blood in the air.
Her eyes squeeze closed.It’s okay. We all would have broken.To think otherwise is a lie. Now we find out the consequences of her insubordination.
Jonathan’s hand squeezes my shoulder like he’s proud of me. It feels like a slither of evil against my flesh. I am not proud, but I am also not broken. I refuse to allow him to define me.
“You bear the lesson well, but the weak among you has shown herself twice this night, and now she must suffer the consequences.”
She? Alone?
George pants as he drops the whip and moves between me and Meredith once more. Her eyes remain closed as he releases the straps between us, slowly unbuckling the bit from her head and letting it clang to the ground. He pulls out a pair of metal tongs and a wickedly sharp dagger. My breath comes faster, and my hands twist in the binds, the ropes digging deep into my wrists. If I was free right now, I might very well murder the man before me for what he’s about to do.
The tongs clamp around her tongue, and her eyes fly open. A second later he’s sliced through her tongue and stands with his prize, a wickedly evil grin filled with glee on his face.
