I pull into the nearest rest stop, killing the engine and leaning back against the headrest, closing my eyes. Suddenly, my seat flies back, and I open my eyes to find Eleanor climbing into my lap and laying her head against my chest. My arms band around her, and I breathe in her scent, grounding myself in the moment. Away from the memories. Away from the guilt. Away from the rage.
“They persuaded her to do a rape kit, but she refused to call the police. Did you know they put the evidence on ice until the victim is ready? It’s a good system; the evidence is preserved while the person processes what happened.” My fingers trace the ridges of her spine, watching the horrors play out like a moviein my mind. “She was in shock, and like so many, wanted to pretend it didn’t happen.”
Eleanor’s hand slips up the bottom of my T-shirt, resting her palm over my heart. “Did she press charges?”
I drag a hand over my face. “Not at first. She lasted a few weeks at college before she withdrew and came home to our parents. Eventually, she opened up to them about what had happened. It was a big first step in acknowledging and healing, but as soon as she identified who was in the room, my father intervened. Two of them were sons of big investors in his company.”
“It shouldn’t matter.”
No truer words have been said. “Shouldn’t, but it did. Our parents got her into therapy and convinced her no good would come from going to the authorities where she would have to relive every sordid detail, including how she had flirted with at least one of the douchebags and her outfit was more revealing than normal. My… my parents used those facts to control her.”
“They made her feel like she invited it to happen.”
“They did. To protect their friends.”
“Where were you?”
Now that’s the million dollar question. “I was stationed abroad. I’d gone deep undercover on an assignment. Steph tried reaching me several times, but only my parents had the code words to get the military to break my cover. So her increasingly distressed messages were taken and fed back to my father, given my CO’s concern.”
My heart thumps in my chest, nothing feeling real except the woman in my arms. “I got home two days after her first attempt to take her life.”
“I’m so sorry, Hunter.”
My arms squeeze her tighter. “My parents shoved her in a ‘top’ psychiatric unit and had her drugged. Healing can onlystart with justice, so she got into a vicious cycle of lucid awareness and needing to make the pain stop since she was denied it. On her fifth attempt, I called into question the institution’s practices and their ability to keep their patients safe. They released her into my custody, and I moved her in with me. We worked with a nursing team to get her off the many, many drugs they’d hooked her on. It was a hard time, the darkest of my life. Every day was a fight to get her to stay with me.”
“Suicide is rarely about wanting to die. More often than not, it’s about wanting a situation to stop and not knowing how, so death becomes the solution.”
“I know, but living with it still leaves scars. I swung from despair to rage on a daily basis, but little by little, I started to see my little sister come back to me. The attempts stopped, and we did what my parents had forbidden. We pressed charges. That was hard for me; I wanted to murder them, but I knew I wouldn’t get away with killing six high profile men, and Steph needed me with her, not behind bars. If I left, she would find herself back in my parents’ care, drugged and marching toward her death.”
“You did the right thing.”
“I almost lost her because she couldn’t speak to me. I vowed never to be in that position again. So, I found Green Hay. I got her in and worked with them to build an environment giving her the optimum conditions for her to heal. I handled the legal stuff on her behalf since she was too fragile to give evidence. The jury had to decide based on the testimony of people at the party, her friends, and the medical staff. Two of them were found guilty of drugging her, but only one was convicted of rape.” My fingers dig into her skin as her nails bite into my chest. “Three got acquitted, and the other three served no time. It was a fucking injustice, one I couldn’t accept for a long time. But over time, karma stepped in and sealed their fates. No one is dead—yet—but their lives are difficult. A car accident left one unable to walk.He was a top football star, and his career was ruined before it ever started. Another has lost his wealth, and no matter what he tries to do, he struggles to climb out of the rut.”
“This is not your guilt to carry,” she whispers.
“You’re wrong.” My voice breaks, but I don’t shy away from the pain. “I wasn’t there for her. I could’ve intervened and got her to the authorities sooner, saving months of pain and suffering.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself. She is lucky to have you. Not everyone has someone in their corner to advocate for them when they are too weak to do it themselves. The woman I met? She is happy, Hunter, and content with the world you have built for her. She is loved and cared for. Secure and safe.” Her fingers move idly across the tattoo. “What set her off yesterday?”
“A misunderstanding. She thought it was Sunday and was expecting me. A new nurse said I wasn’t coming, and it resulted in a meltdown. She can cope with change, but only if it’s discussed with her up front. Blindsiding her isn’t good.”
“What about your parents?”
I hold more rage toward them than the rapists. The two people who should have protected her put their own needs before their daughter’s. “I haven’t seen them since the court case. I warned them, in legal terms so they could understand, that any attempt to contact her, moving her, or interfering with her care would result in me going public with how they handled the whole thing.”
“That’s smart. People like that value their reputation and wealth above everything.”
I feel bad offloading this onto a woman that has enough horror without me adding to it, but she can’t know the real me without understanding what motivates my actions. And if there’s anyone in the world that understands, it’s her.
“Now you know why I’m working so hard to ensure you are protected while fighting Jonathan. I won’t stand on the sidelines while someone else I care for is swept into the criminal underworld of rich men. I won’t let you do this alone.”
She blows out a long breath, her body molding to mine. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yes, okay. I get it. I won’t go running off without you. I will loop you in on decisions and plans. Okay, Hunter. I’m letting you in.”
The relief is like a fresh wash of cool rain as I shed a little of the weight from my shoulders. For Eleanor Austin, letting me in is practically a declaration of love. Love. That feels right. Cupping the back of her head, I breathe her in. Can you fall in love in a few weeks? I kiss the top of her head. Yes, I think you can.
