Gideon doesn’t break skin. There’s no need for whips andblades—they leave marks others may notice. He prefers the devices that inflict the greatest pain and leave not a single bruise. He’s had accidents when he’s lost control. It’s rare, but it’s resulted in two broken ribs, a hairline fracture on my left wrist that still aches, and two concussions. There’s more, but they didn’t warrant being seen by a doctor. The first time I came home after clinical observation, the house was full of thousands of white roses and an apologetic Gideon, who promised he’d never do it again. I believed him. So stupid.
He points to the foot of the bed. I drag my bottom lip between my teeth as I hurry forward and keep my eyes trained on the floor.
He slides off his suit jacket and secures it on a metal hook attached to the wall.
“Shoes off.” He rolls up his shirt sleeves exposing his toned arms I once found so attractive.
I toe off the heels, shrinking me by a few inches. It doesn’t matter—I always feel small.
He reaches behind me, unzips the back of the dress, and lifts it over my head, leaving me in nothing but the chains and waist trainer. He folds the dress neatly and places it on the bed behind me.
His fingers wrap around my chin, tilting my head. His shocking icy gaze makes my heart thunder in my chest. The monster inside him needs satisfying, and that only comes from my punishment. Perhaps my mother is right. I deserve this. The inattentive wife.
“Why are you here?” he drawls.
Another test. One I learned long ago. “I ate and drank more than was allowed.”
“And why do I give you limits, Honor?”
“To help me be the best I can be.”
“Correct. So you are only hurting yourself. I do this because I love you.”
“I love you too.” The words give the correct inflection as they spill from my lips, even as my mind feeds me the opposite of love.
“Good girl. Now turn around.”
I comply as he moves to the cabinet containing a multitude of restraints. “We’ve not used this in a while, baby, not since you last needed throat training.”
My eyes flutter closed as he secures a cool thick leather posture collar around my neck. It prevents me from twisting my head away. “Arms,” he reminds me. I fold them behind my back as he secures them in leather restraints attached to the collar. I spin back to face him. He puts a hand on my shoulder, and I fold myself onto my knees at his silent instruction. I keep my breathing steady and resist the urge to give into the swelling panic. Gideon won’t kill me—that would ruin his fun. But I’ve learned there are things worse than death.
He narrows his gaze in consideration before spinning away and grabbing something from the open cabinet. He secures a clip over my nose and winks at me. “Don’t want any oxygen getting in by accident.”
“Of course,” I agree.Maybe he can stop breathing with me?The dangerous thought flitters through my mind.
He unzips his pants and pulls out his heavy cock. “We need to get that food out of you before it stores on your body as extra fat.” He palms his angry length. There’s no pre-cum, which means this will not be quick. His hands fall around the collar and he yanks on a buckle, tightening the leather like a noose. His eyes glitter with excitement as he steps back to examine me. He runs two fingers over my lips, then thrusts them over my tongue and holds them in the back of my throat. Iwork through the relaxation technique I’ve honed, but it doesn’t work.
“You feel that, baby? You have gotten so good at relaxing your throat and not gagging. I’ve had to tighten it so we can achieve what we need.” My eyes water as he massages his fingers in my throat. “Don’t worry, we will keep going until it’s all out.”
He withdraws his fingers and wipes my saliva on the head of his cock. One of his hands slides into my hair, and he fists it, making my scalp sting. “Open wide, no teeth.”
My mouth widens, and he slides in, hitting the back of my throat on his first thrust. Gideon Lowell isn’t a small man. In fact, I’d say he’s larger than average. He grunts as he tries to push harder and the normal give doesn’t happen. He uses the hand in my hair to tip my head back at a different angle. This time, he sinks deeper.
“That’s it, baby, take it all.” He stares at me as he powers in and out. Tiny bits of air escape into my body between his thrusts. He retreats a little, making the head push against my gag reflex. My chest contracts, and he grins. “There it is.”
He alternates between staying deep in my throat so I can’t breathe and rubbing against my gag reflex. My throat is raw, and my chest and jaw aches. Suddenly, my entire stomach spasms and hot liquid rushes up. He shoves his cock in so deep his balls press against my chin.
“Swallow.”
My body argues with the instruction. It’s decided something needs to come out and now I’m telling it the opposite. Tears stream from my eyes and leak down my cheeks as I struggle to obey. There, one painful swallow.
“We need to make sure the lesson sticks, Honor. It being over too early won’t make for a lasting impression on your psyche.”
He gets lost in the pleasure. His back arches as he enjoys breaching my tight throat. He makes me swallow the bile twice more before he yanks his cock free and it spills out onto the floor.
“Again,” he grunts. “That’s not enough.” He’s back, punishing me, teaching me.Obey.
I vomit twice more before he pushes inside a last time and releases his cum into my throat. This, I’m allowed to swallow.
