Where to start? My mind drags me back to that clinic. My heart races. I jerk to my feet and I clutch my hair. What am I thinking? This isn’t the plan. Dragging others into this dangerous hunt. If Gideon finds them, he’ll hurt them. How is that repaying their kindness? Louise hops off the bed with me.
“Joanna, take a breath,” she coaxes. I yank the door open. I have to leave, disappear into the night before they become collateral. My thoughts collide like mini bombs in my head, feeding the adrenaline. I dart out of the door and run straight into a solid wall. No wait, it’s Derek. He grabs the tops of my arms, firmly but not hurting.
“Breathe, Joanna. Follow me.” I stare at his mouth as he drags in a slow breath. “That’s right, hold it, now out to the count of four. Four, three, two, one.” My chest expands and my fried nerves settle. “Again.”
I don’t know how long we stand there just breathing, but eventually, the need to run settles. My forehead collapses against him, and a sob clutches my chest, and a low sound of despair escapes my throat. A warm hand rubs my back.
“I got you. Nobody is going to hurt you here. Nothing happens unless you agree to it. Understand?”
I jerk my head before pulling away. His T-shirt is damp from my tears. “I’m sorry,” I utter.
“It’s water, Joanna, there’s no need for apologies. But now Ineed you to be brave and tell me what’s going on. You can’t be strong if your body is failing you.”
“Okay.”
He turns me back around to the bedroom. A deep frown mars Louise’s face, but she quickly schools her features into a blank mask when I meet her eyes. “Please don’t do that,” I whisper. “Don’t hide what you are thinking—I can’t stand it. I lived with that for too long. If you are angry, say so. If you’re upset, cry. Just don’t hide it.”
Louise swallows. “Okay.” She runs a shaky hand through her hair. “You got it. Whatever you need.”
Louise sits on the end of the bed, and I slide next to her so our shoulders are brushing. It’s like her silent strength is passing from her to me, giving me courage. Derek leans against the wall with his arms folded.
“Tony said you have a high temp. Is it viral or something else?” Derek asks.
My throat tightens. “Something else.”
“Are you in pain?”
“Yes.”
Spit it out, Honor. Stop dodging the questions.“Where is the pain?”
My hand ghosts over my lower abdomen. “Here.”
“From the waist trainer?” Louise asks.
I shake my head and place my hand between my legs. “And here.”
They share a look over my head. “Do you consent to an examination?” Derek asks.
I jerk my head.Come on, Honor, dig for that girl that dances in the rain like she can rule the world.“I’ve had surgery.”
“What kind?” Derek asks.
My gaze collides with his. “My hymen has been reconstructed and my vagina tightened.”
“Fuck,” Louise utters.
Derek’s mouth presses into a thin line. “Was it consensual?” I shake my head. “Have you had sex since?”
“No, it was only days ago.”
“Were you given any meds?”
“Antibiotics and a short course of painkillers.”
“Have you stayed on top of the antibiotics?”
I drag my bottom lip between my teeth. “No. I had to leave them behind when he caught up to me at a motel.”
