“Now,” I state.
Jed shakes his head. “If we were to take him out now, we wouldn’t be able to continue along the path you’ve made. After this is over we will retrieve him.”
I clench my trembling fists. I need to let go of some of this adrenaline. Punch something perhaps, or several somethings of godly origins. “Not good enough.”
“It’s the best we’ve got. I know it hurts, trust me, I do.”
“You are saying this is payback for what I did?” I grind out.
Jed lifts his hands. “No, not at all. It doesn’t change the fact that you did it, or erase the pain that lingers in everyone who loves you. That will take time to heal.”
I snort a laugh and turn my head back to the silky, black sea. “What happened here?”
“It’s the beginning of the end. Tartarus opening sent a ripple throughout the universe. This is the visual prelude to the apocalyptic-style storms that will follow. The universe will move to protect itself, focusing on where these monsters congregate.”
“How will it protect itself?”
Jed follows my gaze. “Meteorites will change course, the tectonic plates will shift, and the beginning of the end will focus here on Earth. It’s just waiting for them to break ground on Earth. They cannot be allowed to gain a grip on humanity or be given the opportunity to infect the rest of the universe.”
I wait for the wave of panic, the fight that thumps in my heart, the resolute feeling of protection I offer the world, but it doesn’t come. I feel hollow, like the world dug out the last fuck I had to give and buried it in Greed with Duncan.
I swallow and shake my head. “I don’t care.”
Jed cuts a look to me as I stand and make my way inside the cave, his heavy steps stalking me as I find myself in the kitchen, pulling out items from the fridge.
He slams his hands down on the worktop, making the chopping board jump. “Damn it, Natia, you have survived more loss and heartache than most, your very soul is burdened with eons of guilt, yet this breaks you?” I continue to pile the items, ready to make a sandwich. “You think Duncan would be impressed with your attitude?” My hand pauses. The knife trembles above the tomato, threatening the red flesh.
“You don’t get to use him against me. You have no right. I fought, I sacrificed, I survived—and now I’m done. You can do this without me. I’m going to be here watching the world burn as you defend a race hellbent on damning themselves. I don’t understand why you even bother.”
Jed takes a step back, his face blanking. My eyes narrow at his expression. Jed is like the male version of me—he wears his heart on his sleeve. A firm punch comes against my mental shields. I grit my teeth. “What the fuck are you doing, Smoothie?”
Another punch comes, forcing me to reinforce it with “World on Fire” by Daughtry. “Let me in, Natia,” he grits out, leaning towards me with his hands on the worktop. I step back and clutch my temples, tears leaking from my eyes at the psychic pain he’s inflicting. “I’m trying to help you.”
I grab the plate and launch it across the cave, the scattered pieces grazing the floor. “I don’t want your help. You want me to forget, to temper my emotions when Duncan deserves me to raise Hell to save him.”
“And I’ve said we’ll get him back,” Jed shouts, running his hand through his hair.
“Every second in Hell is a stain on your soul. Every moment there will wear you down, turn your purity into a darkness that drags you under. Sin whispers salvation in your mind, begging you to give in, to become part of the depravity that eats you alive. So whilst waiting makes sense to you, to me, every minute is a step towards the disaster that is coming for Duncan. By the time we rescue him, he will have been destroyed by Hell.”
“You have so little faith in your best friend?” Jed says, folding his arms.
I launch the knife at him. He dodges to the left as it lodges in the wall behind him. I look down at the scattered items of food. “Duncan is one of the strongest people I know, but Hell isn’t a playground. His suffering calls out to me through the dimensions.” I glance at Jed. “I can feel it. Every ounce of pain he endures echoes in my mind.”
Jed’s face falls and his arms drop, his voice dropping low. “I can take it away.”
I shake my head. “If you take it away, I won’t know if he still survives.” I clutch my fist against my heart. “He begs for a reprieve, for mercy, and I stand here in his home with no plans to rescue him, and no one at my side.”
“He’s our priority after we’ve dealt with Lawrence and Zeus.”
“And that’s just it. Our priorities no longer match. Mine is Duncan—it will always be my family first. Yours is a god war I have lost any interest in fighting for.”
“You’d let the world perish?”
“Humanity died when we thought it better to let one person suffer for the sins of the gods. Ring a bell? Humanity is but a speck in the ocean of time; yet it’s the humanity in me which drives my need to rescue Duncan. Humanity isn’t about crying for the needs of the horde. It’s about caring for each soul, one at a time. No one is above anyone else, no one is more important or deserves more effort. And right now, I need to focus on Duncan because he needs me the most. The world can burn until I have my friend, my brother, at my side.”
Jed steps back and shakes his head. “I tried the easy way. All you had to do was let me in.”
I frown as he disappears. The mouthwatering scent of sandalwood and sin surrounds me. Warm hands drop to my hips and squeeze, making my fingers twitch. I regret throwing the knife. “How are you here?” I ask.
