“It sounds like you’re going back to London,” I say, the tears starting to work their way out from the inner corners of my eyes.
He takes a step toward me. “All he’s wanted this whole time was for me to come back to the company and secure my destiny. It’s been his plan. It’s why he’s done everything that he’s done. Sutton said—”
A rage fire erupts in my chest. “Sutton? You talked to Sutton about this?”
Benito’s eyes flash to mine and I see a glint of frustration. “Only to get her perspective oneverything. She’s the only one who knows my father like I do.”
“Sutton wants you. Sutton wants you back in London. Of course she’d tell you to take it.” I feel hoarse, like I’ve been scream-singing for hours at a concert. I try to make sense of where I am. Are my feet on the ground? Because it feels like my whole world has been flipped upside down. Again. “How do you know your father will keep his word?”
Benito exhales loudly. “I don’t. He made a lot of promises, but I don’t know that I trust him.”
“This is the worst quid pro quo ever,” I say. Benito smirks. I hate that I amused him when it’s taking everything in me not to slap him across his perfect face. “You’re leaving me. Just like that. After everything?”
I see him swallow hard again, like my words are unpalatable but he has no choice but to accept them. “I’m leaving. I’m not leaving you.”
I roll my eyes. What difference does it make? “Don’t sugarcoat this. Don’t try to make this better. You’re still leaving. You sacrificed yourself. You’re the hero. The savior of La Musa. You traded your watch for gold combs for my hair, and I sold my hair for a chain for your watch. We’re tragic. You’ll always wonder about Izzy, the one who got away. And I’ll be sitting on a porch when I’m 80, telling my grandchildren about my fleeting few months with the hot, young Italian mayor. Whatever. It doesn’t change the facts. You’re leaving me.”
He takes another step closer and reaches out forme, but I flinch back. “Izzy, I’m not leaving you. I’m getting out of your way.”
My eyes roll so hard I think they might finally get stuck that way like my mother always warned. “That’s a twisted way to look at it.”
“What steps have you taken to actually make a life here, Izzy? You don’t have your own housing—”
“Not yet,” I say. “But I’ll start looking.”
Benito ignores me. “You’ve barely learned any Italian—”
“I haven’t gotten around to it yet. I can start.”
“You don’t have a job—”
“I’ll get one at a flower shop or something.”
“There is no flower shop in La Musa!” Benito practically screams.
“Wait, really?” I realize he’s right, and every time I’ve bought flowers in town is at the farmers market. So much for that idea. “That doesn’t track.”
“See, you’ve made no real plans, Izzy. None.”
I look at him; there’s a pleading in his eyes. If I weren’t so annoyed with him, his pained expression would break my heart.
Benito sighs, his hand finding its way through his hair. “You say you want this to be your home and yet you’ve done nothing to make it your home. I am tired of pretending to go along with it all when I know you will not stay here. I can’t be a part of this delusion that you can have a quiet, complication-free life.”
I try to burn a hole through his face with the rage behind my eyes. Not 12 hours ago he very happily took part in that delusion. “Yes, I can.”
“No, you can’t. That’s not how life works, and more importantly, that’s not how you work. Look at how that plan’s worked out so far. You fought against the town’s development since day one, you took on my father, his business associates, Sutton. It is not in your nature to be an inactive participant in the world. Soon you will realize that, but I suspect you already do. Sutton said—”
I cut him off. That’s enough. “Sutton doesn’t know a thing about me. She wanted me to be mayor.”
“You should be the mayor!” Benito yells, though he’s not angry. It’s like he’s pleading with me. An impassioned lawyer making his case. “Or the CEO of something, or a businessowner, or. . .” He takes a step toward me. “Or president.” I glare at him; how dare he throw that in my face. The dream I now recognize as childish and naïve, the one I know will never come true. “The point is, Izzy. You could never be nothing.”
I absorb his words. After every argument we’ve had, I thought he finally understood my mission. Better yet, I thought he wanted to be a part of it. “If you don’t want me, there are easier ways to break it off,” I say.
Benito runs both his hands through his hair again and shakes his head. “It’s not that. Please know that. If it were as simple as being with you or not, I’d choose you.” He takes a step closer. “I see you. I always have. I see how amazing you are. I see how smart you are. I see how one-of-a-kind you are. I want to be around you all the time. I know if I stayed, I wouldn’t be able to stay away from you, but I can’t be part of lettingyou throw that all away. I want you to want more for yourself. You should want more for yourself.”
A chill runs down my spine. I don’t know how many ways I can say that I’m not that person before he will finally believe it. “I told you. I don’t want to be the person I was anymore.”
Benito is silent for a few moments then shakes his head again. “That’s just it, Izzy. You can never stop being who you are.” He looks off in the distance, like he’s staring at a future that is certain to everyone except for me. “Soon you’ll see that.”
