Me: why would you say that. Now I’m curious.
Marisol: don’t!!!!
I open the news app on my phone and don’t see anything out of the ordinary: The world is terrible, the wars are worse, the famines are unresolved. It seems more or less a run-of-the-mill news day in the U.S. I scroll to the celebrity gossip. A lifetime in Hollywood means I don’t really care about famous people, but one of my housewives is pregnant and I knowPeoplehas the exclusive on their name reveal. Sue me, I’m curious if it’s going to be a Rio or a Cruz.
My heart drops when I see the headline.Congressman Levi Cross Steps Out with Actress Olivia White. There are pictures of the two of them. Levi in a crisp oxford shirt and slacks, Olivia in a tiny dress, pumps, and Levi’s suit jacket draped over her shoulders. They’re holding hands, ducking out of the lights of the camera flashes and yet smiling, glowing. I resist the urge to run to the bathroom and hurl.
It’s probably a P.R. relationship. It’s not unheard of in either world. An arrangement made by their respective teams for more press and elevated star power, butstill. What do they even talk about? Olivia was in a teen drama up until last year, she can’t be older than 26. Levi’s pushing 40 and grew up on a farm outside of Bakersfield. He knows more about different types of soil than television. He judged me for even watching shows like the one Olivia was on. He always wanted to talk about books, symphonies, poetry. He didn’t touch any piece of culture that wasn’t considered highbrow. I used to think that made him an intellectual, brilliant, but now I think it was more that he was pompous and pretentious.
I hope Olivia learns this soon and dumps him. Or maybe she finds it sexy, and they’ll get married, their wedding an exclusive inVogue. Her dress will be a Vera Wang original. Vera did my inauguration ball dress. Fucking traitor.
Levi, who didn’t think it was wise for me to be in a relationship during my freshmen term, is now in one publicly. He told me it was better for me to focus on the work, that it wouldn’t be right for the voters or forme to try to start something new in the midst of all the fuss. Levi, who was wary of the level of attention I was getting, who told me he was worried it would distract from what I set out to do, is now dating a freaking starlet. And the worst part is, no pundit, internet troll, or fellow congressperson will wonder if he can balance his high-profile relationship and the job. It will only make him more known, more popular, and better liked.
I was no stranger to the media, but I know if it had been the other way around, I would have been ridiculed and my motives would have been questioned.
My phone dings again.
Marisol: You looked, didn’t you?
Me: I looked. Wtf adjkflsjfksldfn
The three bubbles appear immediately as Marisol writes out a response.
Marisol: You have more Instagram followers than her <3
I wish that were enough to make me feel better. I shut my laptop, take a sleeping pill, and crawl under the covers.
Chapter Five
“I’m going to have sex with Giac,” I say to Marisol on the phone a few days later. I have spoken to Giac exactly three times including our introduction at the bar, but I need the distraction. Yesterday, I saw him as I was tonguing two scoops of gelato stracciatella in a cone. He said “Gelato?” and I, through a mouthful of vanilla bean and chocolate chips, replied, “Sì.”
“No, you’re not,” Marisol says. It’s 2 a.m. in DC but Marisol is wide awake, not yet settled in for her nightly three to four hours of sleep.
“I am,” I say. “I need a passionate affair that makes me realize love is the only thing that really matters.”
“I don’t think you can go into it hoping to force that lesson,” Marisol says. I hear the faint drone of cable news in the background. I do my best to tune it out. She continues, “Besides, love isnotthe only thing that matters. Humans can survive without love, we can’t survive without clean water, affordable food, and shelter. Those are the things that really matter.”
I lean back on my bed, putting my phone on speaker and resting it next to me because the action of holding it to my ear is too much effort. “Can you turn off the politicking for like, one second.”
“No,” Marisol says with a little laugh. “Sorry, Giac. You’re going to have sex with Giac.”
“Yes,” I say. “Thank you.”
“I’m 100% supportive of you banging as much as possible now that you’re not in Congress,” she says.
“Right?” I say. “And Giac is perfect. He’s the only young, single person around, but even in spite of that. He doesn’t actually live in La Musa, so if it goes horribly wrong, it’s relatively easy to avoid him.”
“Always a good reason to sleep with someone,” Marisol says, and I’m honestly not sure if she means that or if it’s her dry sense of humor and she’s mocking me.
“He’s hot, I’m attracted to him, I need to get laid, and he’s hot.” I sit up, my energy suddenly renewed with fresh purpose. “I’m going to fuck Giac.”
There’s a knock on my door. “Is that you or me?” Marisol asks.
“Me,” I respond. “Hold on.” I walk over to the door with my phone still in my hand and open it. Benito is standing on the other side. I pray he didn’t hear any of our conversation. “Benito?”
“Who’s Benito?” Marisol asks.
I quickly press the phone into my shoulder to muffle the sound of her voice. “What’s up?” I ask.
