My dick perks right the fuck back up. That’s a new record for recovery.
“Really, Billie, you’re so pretty here.” I gently wipe her down. The condom took care of most of the mess, but it can’t hurt to pay attention to detail.
Her breath catches. “Thank you.”
“You know I wanna go for round two, right?”
She nods, doing that thing where she bites her lip. “I want that too.”
“Best if we call it a night, though. It’s late. And I don’t want you hurtin’ too bad tomorrow.”
Her eyes glimmer with disappointment. “The hurt feels good, Ry.”
I hang my head. “Yougottalisten when I ask you to stop right now.”
“I’ll stop.” She reaches up and digs her fingers into my hair. “I know we’re friends. Only friends. And friends don’t…”
I laugh. “Do anything we just did?”
Her face creases into a smile. “Exactly.”
It kills me to push her knees back together and offer her my hand. Kills me to pull her up to sit. Help her back into her shirt. Watch her buckle in.
My thoughts, feelings—they’re a jumble of,This is so right, and,I’m doing something wrong. I can’t tell up from down.
My hand shakes as I tuck her panties into my other front pocket—the one without Dad’s pocketknife in it.
“Those belong to me, you know.” Billie cuts me a hot look.
I start the truck. “They’re mine now.”
It’s wrong that I’m stealing her panties. It also doesn’t feel right not to have some token of the best sex of my life, especially considering I’ll never have sex with this woman again.
You wouldn’t know I had Billie yelling my name minutes ago by the way she sits quietly and looks out the window on the drive back to her place. Legs crossed, the hand of her good arm tucked between her thighs.
Thankfully her apartment is on the opposite side of the ranch from Colt’s house, so there’s very little risk of him catching us. Just the fact that I’m worried about that makes me feel a stab of guilt, though.
Sneaking around sucks. It’s for teenagers and cowards.
Last time. This won’t happen again. Everyone makes mistakes.
Only making Billie come doesn’t feel like a mistake.
Instead, it feels like a revelation. Allowing myself to plug into my feelings, my body, my thoughts like she always does—like I just did when I was inside her—it didn’t kill me.
It didn’t change how Billie felt about me. She wasn’t grossed out or turned off. In fact, she seemed pretty damn turned on bymy vulnerability. Ilovebeing able to talk to her about how weird and wild and awesome tonight has been.
Ilovenot having to tell myself tonumb, ignore, deflect.Makes me realize how exhausted I am by my attempts to outrun my feelings. My desires.
I put the truck in park outside her house and cut the ignition.
“I’ll walk you up.” I unbuckle my seat belt.
Billie just laughs as she opens her door. “Please don’t. I can only handle so many mixed signals in one night.”
“You’re not walking alone in the dark.”
“The door is right there.” She gestures to the windshield. “It’s, like, five steps away.”
