Do I need her honesty—her bravery—as much as I need your friendship?
“I’m the best fuckin’ friend ever. You’re welcome.” Colt’s accent is thicker. He’s in his feels too. “Maybe…you gotta release the pressure somehow.”
I lift my fingers on the wheel. “That’s why we’re out here.”
He clamps the cigar between his teeth. “Let’s do it, then.”
Only, sitting in a blind all day, enjoying the fresh air, nips of good tequila, and my friend’s company somehow leaves me feelingmoreagitated.
I have half a mind to skip supper at the New House altogether. Maybe I really do need some solitude. Or do I need a square meal and the company of my family to soften the edges of a horrendous day?
It’s a bad day for them too. I gotta remember that. They need me as much as I need them. So I grab a shower and head to the New House.
We sit around the big oak table in the kitchen, just like we always do. But tonight, everyone is quiet. Subdued, even. Pretty standard for the anniversary of Mom and Dad’s death.
Cash will shed a tear or two. Wyatt and Sawyer will give everyone bear hugs. Duke always cries.
But me? I can usually power my way through. All of a sudden, though, it’s a struggle to stay in control. To keep it all in, the sadness and the regret and the gut punch of grief.
Again, is it a good thing that I can’t keep these feelings at bay? Or am I finally going to lose my goddamn mind feeling my feelings tonight? Billie’s made me want to turn on the spigot of my emotions and experiences. But now I’m realizing I had no plan of action beyond that.
What do Idowith this grief?
How do I sit with it and not let it pull me under?
Patsy gives each of a big old hug while we clean up from dinner. One by one, my brothers and their partners head home.
For Sally and Wyatt, home is the old farmhouse Garrett lived in after his divorce from Mollie’s mom.
For Ava and Sawyer and the girls, it’s the house we grew up in, which we recently renovated so Sawyer could have a family home of his own.
Wheeler and Duke are splitting their time between his cottage on the Rivers’ side of the ranch and her townhome in Dallas. Along with Mollie and Cash, they’re the last couples left in the kitchen. I busy myself at the sink, pretending to wash dishes that are already clean.
“Hey.” Duke leans his side against the nearby countertop.
“Y’all don’t have to wait on me.” I tilt a plate underneath the faucet. “Have a good night.”
Wheeler comes up behind Duke and rests her cheek on his shoulder. “You were awful quiet tonight, Ryder.”
“Tired. That’s all.”
“Is it?”
“Yeah.”
A pause. That’s when Duke reaches over and shuts off the water. “Can we talk for a minute?”
CHAPTER 8
Breaking and Entering
RYDER
Restingmy wrists on the lip of the sink, I sigh. “Sure.”
“I’m worried about you.” Duke’s eyes burn a hole through my head. “You wanna come hang at the cottage with me and Wheeler for a bit?”
Wheeler reaches out to squeeze my arm. “You’re always welcome. Duke’s s’mores game has gotten pretty excellent.”
