“My five foul-mouthed brothers might have something to do with it.”
“Guilty.” Colt steps forward to stand beside me, running a hand over my horse’s flank. “You got a minute?”
“Depends.” I cross my arms, careful to avoid knocking my arms or torso with the dandy brush and currycomb I’m holding. “You gonna be nice?”
His eyes bore into mine in the dim light of the barn. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a jackass.”
I don’t know what to say. Am I hearing things? Is this a dream?
“I heard Ryder sticking up for you,” Colt continues. “That day you were making your pitch to Mom and Dad. I heard the whole thing because I was passing through the hall—heading home to grab Dean—but then I heard you talking about the animal therapy program stuff, andthenI heard Ryder chiming in. I know it was wrong to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help it. Y’all sounded…certain. Excited.”
I stare at my older brother, trying my damndest to formulate a coherent response. Part of me is still pissed he’s given us the cold shoulder for so long. Another part wants to just give the guy a hug and beg him to put all this shit behind us, because I’m tired.
So tired of feeling like I did something wrong by falling in love.
Tired of doing life without my older brother.
“I’m glad you were able to listen in,” I say at last. “Ryder…Colt, he’s been so instrumental in helping me formulate this whole escape plan. The one where I don’t have to work a job I hate anymore.”
Colt’s throat works on a swallow. “I’mglad he gave you the push you needed. I hated seeing you so unhappy, Billie. We all did.”
“But I had to be the one to make the move. I know that now. And being with Ryder—I think it gave me the confidence I needed to do that.” I search my brother’s eyes. “I love him, Colt. With all my heart. I love you too, and I miss you like crazy.”
He swallows again, blinking hard. “I’ve missed you too. Both of y’all.”
I wait for him to finish that thought. Wait some more. He’s running his hand down my horse’s side again, and I can tell it takes effort to try and gather himself.
I knew Colt would have a lot to say about me dating his best friend. But I hadn’t realized that he might have a lot to say about other things too.
Things we haven’t talked about yet.
The space between us swims with emotion. I do my best to keep my head above the water, reminding myself to keep breathing.
“Y’all getting together—it wasn’t just the betrayal that cut deep.” Colt’s voice is husky. “I’m ashamed to admit this, butit also made me sad. Like I almost couldn’t be happy for y’all because I felt too sorry for myself. Yes, I know how shitty that is. But I had…” He puts both hands on the horse and takes a breath. “I wanted you to know why I’ve been avoiding y’all like I have. It’s because I want to be happy for you, and I can’t, and that makes me feel like the world’s smallest, most selfish person.”
The hot press of tears has me closing my eyes. “You’ve been through so much, Colt. None of it was fair. None of it was right. I still can’t make sense of it all this many years later. You’re a good man who always tries to do the right thing, even when it’s hard. And still all that shit happened to you.”
“I’m in therapy,” Colt replies. “It’s helping. But the way I reacted to you and Ryder—it’s made me realize how much work I still have left to do. While I’m definitely not healed, I can say I genuinely regret how I’ve treated y’all, and I’d love it if you’d—” He hangs his head. “I’d love it if we could start over. You, me, and Ry. Because y’alldodeserve each other. You’re both bighearted and creative and just all-around excellent human beings. If I’m being honest, I always pictured you with a guy like that. Someone who’d never try to tame your wild, who loved you for who you are. Because I love you like that. Or at least I’ve tried to.”
Good Lord, since when is Colton Victor Wallace good at giving speeches?
Becausedang, that one got me right in my feels.
“You’ve loved me exactly how I needed to be loved, Colt. You’ve got a big heart too. I know you were being protective because youcare. A lot. You’ve just been through some shit, and that’s gonna leave a scar.”
He looks up. “I’m sorry. Really sorry, Billie. You deserve better, and so does Ryder.”
“Have you talked to him yet?”
Colt shakes his head. “Wanted to come to you first. If you tell me to fuck off, I’ll fuck off and leave y’all alone. But if you’re willing to give me another chance, which I definitely don’t deserve?—”
“Everybody deserves a second chance, Colt.” I manage a watery smile. “Even you.”
He sniffs, his bloodshot eyes wet. “You mean that?”
“Of course I mean that.” I drop the brushes on the floor, making my horse jump, and pull Colt in for a hug.
He tugs me tighter against him. “Thank you,” he whispers.
