“I’ve lived on my own for years now, Ry. Where I sleep is my business.”
It’s his turn to laugh. “If you say so. All right, baby. Much as I hate to say it, I gotta get moving.”
He kisses my forehead, and I swear to God my internal organs—the important ones, anyway—melt.
Could this be the way I start the morning…every morning?
On the drive back to my place, I allow myself to picture what my life could look like in a year if I’m brave and make good choices and encounter a little luck.
I could be living with Ryder. Or he could be living with me. Honestly I don’t care as long as he makes love to me every morning.
Instead of dreading a day spent doing taxes, I could be looking forward to a day spent working with horses, kids, therapists, the community. I’d be making a real impact.
I’d be outside in this glorious fall weather. I wonder what role I’d have in the therapy program. Coordinator? Community outreach…person? Liaison, maybe?
I’m exhausted after a night of interrupted sleep and intense athletic activity, but you wouldn’t know it from the way my skeleton vibrates with energy.
This idea is lighting me up, and that means something.
It’s not the giant neon sign I was hoping would appear to point me in the right direction. But it’s a definite nudge.
Maybe the rest is not up to the universe but up to me.
Dad always says that action is the best medicine.
Once we’re on my family’s property, I have Ryder take the back way to my house. It’s a dirt road that barely merits the name, and we bounce around hard enough that my head hurts by the time we pull up to my front door.
Grabbing the door handle, I lean over the seat to peck Ryder on the mouth. “I’ll talk to Colt earliest chance I get.”
“Fill me in when you do?” Ryder’s eyes are full in the semidarkness. “I’m not opposed to us talking to him together. I think the sooner we rip off the Band-Aid, the better.”
I nod. “I don’t disagree. Let’s see where the wind takes us, okay?”
“Okay.” He’s kissing me again, groaning when he moves to my neck. “You taste so fuckin’ good, baby. Tonight?—”
“Yeah.” I’m trying not to pant. If we get worked up again, there’s no telling what will happen. “We’ll figure something out.”
“Good. And unless you want me to put a baby in you, don’t forget to take your birth control.”
A burst of…something moves through me.Wait, is Ryder thinking about making some babies too?
“I have an IUD, remember?” I reply carefully.
“Ah.” He nips at the hollow underneath my jaw. “Right.”
“But…do you want to put a baby in me?”
What a totally inappropriate question to ask.I flush with embarrassment, even as my body pounds with yearning.
I want—need—to know his answer.
He pulls away, nostrils flaring as he locks eyes with me. “All we been through, and you’re still pushin’ my goddamn buttons, huh?”
“You’d better get used to it.” I tuck a stray strand of hair behind his ear.
His eyes are still on mine when he says, “Yeah, Billie. One day I’d love to make some babies with you. I got work to do—a lot of work—in the meantime. We have the work we’re gonna do together now too.”
I smile, a cloudless sky opening up inside my chest. “We do.”
