I sip my cocktail, chest twisting. “Meaning you wanted your brothers to love their new homes because when they’re happy, you’re happy.”
“Something like that.” Ryder’s gaze twinkles as he sets my plate in front of me and holds out a napkin and silverware. “The house keeps getting pushed down on the list of renovations, but you’ll be happy to hear that I sent Cash a text while I was waiting for the food and told him to send a crew here first thing tomorrow.”
“Look at you, being a pain in the ass.” I hold up my glass, the smell of the food making my mouth water. “Cheers to that, Ry.”
He chuckles as he taps his glass against mine. “Don’t get too excited, because Cash hasn’t responded yet. But now that I got my girl, I need a nice place to bring her home to.”
“Damn, Ry. You’re good.”
He sits across from me and puts his napkin on his lap. Our eyes meet over the table. He looks, and I look. Several heartbeats pass, and I wonder what I’m supposed todowith all this happiness.
Feel it, probably.Trust it.
Hasn’t that been my message to Ryder all along? To feel his feelings instead of running away from them?
“You’re real fuckin’ beautiful, Billie.” He holds my gaze. “I should’ve told you that sooner, and I’m sorry.”
I swallow hard, not daring to breathe. “This is a big change, Ry. A sudden change. I want to trust you?—”
“I want that too. I know it’s gonna take time to earn your trust after everything I’ve said—everything I’ve done—but if you’re willing to give me that time, I’m gonna rise to the occasion. I promise you.”
I’ve never heard Ryder make a promise before. But he’s a Rivers. A cowboy too. And in our world, your word is all you have. You’re either trustworthy or not. People know whether or not you keep your promises.
Ryder is the kind of man who keeps his promises. The fact that he’s making one to me?—
My eyes sting. “Of course I’ll give you time.”
He lets out a breath. “Good. Thank fuck. I was worried?—”
“That I’d turn you down after all that?” I laugh, using the flat of my palm to wipe my eyes. “Stop.”
“I’d also like to talk to Colt and your daddy about this. Us.”
I turned over that idea in my head on the drive here. And while I get that Ryder wants to have a conversation man-to-man,I also think I should be the one to broach the subject with my brother first.
“Okay, let me try to explain this.” I grab my fork and knife and cut into my steak. It’s medium rare, just how I like it. “I want Colt to think of me as an adult. I’ll always be his baby sister, but I’m also a grown-ass adult. I think he’ll appreciate it if I’m the one to talk to him first. It’ll show him I’m more mature than he thinks, and maybe that I actually have my shit together. Or I’m trying to, at the very least. I need him to respect the choices I make.”
Ryder nods as he goes to town on his butternut squash. “That’s fair. Long as I can talk to him right after, I’m all right with that.”
“What’s our plan if he blows up?”
Ryder lets out a breath and leans back in his chair. “I love your brother. Have for as long as I can remember. I’d like to think I know him well enough by now to say he’ll…” A long pause. “Well, I think he’ll be happy for us eventually.”
“Oh Lord.”
“We just gotta tread lightly. You know, with everything that happened in the past.”
I furrow my brow. “I was young when all that happened. How did he survive it? Honestly? Her cheating on him like that?”
We all know the broad brush strokes of what went down: Abby, a teacher at Hart County High School where I was a senior, had an affair with the football coach. Because we live in a small town and secrets don’t stay secret for long, people found out about it pretty quickly. But I guess my brother was the last to know; he doesn’t like to leave the ranch now and didn’t then either, so it was only when his wife and the football coach were fired that he found out.
A month later, Abby was diagnosed with cancer. Six months after that, she was gone.
“He was not okay for a long time,” Ryder replies. “To be honest, I don’t know how he survived. I mean, I think he just had to. Simple as that. Dean was a baby.”
“We were all babies back then.”
“But we’re not anymore.” Ryder picks up his cocktail. “Whatever happens, we can handle it, okay?”
