Dean grins. “I have perfect attendance so far.AndI was one of the first ones to read a sentence this week. Ms. Loo was so proud she gave me a sticker!”
“A sticker! That’s awesome. Proud of you.”
“I’m proud of me too.” His grin is shy, but I know he really is proud of himself.
Colt’s smile touches his eyes. Guy’s been through hell and back over the past couple years, but he’s doing a damn fine job of raising his son. He has every reason to smile today.
Bull riding is up first. Then we watch several racers compete before Billie’s name is announced over the loudspeaker. Ella and Junie squeal. Ava throws up her arms.
A buzz of excitement darts up my spine when I see a brunette in a white cowboy hat dart into sight.
Smiling, I resist the urge to clap my hands and shout,Get it, girl. Watching these races always gets me psyched up, and seeing someone I know out there—even if it is the woman who lays it on a little too thick with me sometimes—has me feeling doubly excited.
Billie dashes through the arena, her dark hair flying, pretty face split into a smile. She’s going so fast I catch the glint of tears trailing horizontally across her temples. Her body moves rhythmically, expertly, as she guides her horse around the first barrel. I’m transfixed by the easy roll of her hips in the saddle.
She lets out a holler of utter delight, drawing cheers of approval from the crowd, becauseof courseshe does.
I’m Billie fucking Wallace,I imagine her saying.And I’m about to knock your goddamn socks off.
She’s fully immersed in the excitement of the moment.
Fully, completely, vibrantly alive. No holding back.
My stomach bottoms out like I’m on a roller coaster. Billie looks fierce and wild and so fucking joyful out there it…shit, it kinda hurts to watch her.
Literally. My chest is squeezing so hard I feel like I’m having a heart attack.
That, my pulse shouts.I need that.
What aboutthat, though, is making me feel like I can’t breathe? Maybe I just haven’t seen Billie let totally loose like this in a while. A long while. Really, since she started working with her daddy in the Wallace Ranch offices years ago.
It’s like she’s in her natural state running that cloverleaf. Uninhibited. Zero fucks given.
She’s plugged in. Connected to some higher force. Or maybe just to her true self, unafraid of what might happen next.
For a split second, my torso fills with that same wide-open feeling. I can breathe again. It feels nice to set down the need to be in control and just…feel. Excitement. Anticipation. Hope.
Makes me realize how numb I’ve felt in comparison all day. All week.
All the time.
“Go, Billie, go!” Ava leaps to her feet. Sticking her fingers into her mouth, she lets out a shockingly loud whistle. “That’s right, sister, you make that barrel your?—”
“Friend!” Sawyer finishes for her, grinning.
Junie and Ella are on their feet now, so I hop up too. I pat my right front pocket, making sure the pocketknife is still there.
All good.
Mom gave Dad this pocketknife as a wedding gift. Like me, he carried it every damn day. He saved the lives of more cattleand horses and kids with this thing than I could count. Figure it’s good luck to keep it close.
What would he think if he could see my brothers and me now? Bet he’d love being at the rodeo with his sons, their better halves, and all these beautiful babies.
Mom would lose her mind over how much Ella looks like Sawyer. And she’d eat up Cash’s chunky baby with a spoon.
Emotion clogs my windpipe.See? This is what happens when I let myself feel shit. Everyone is hooting and hollering and having a grand old time celebrating a friend’s achievement, and here I am, making a goddamn fool of myself.
Get. It. The fuck together.
