Ivy lifted a shoulder. “All I’m saying is that he earned some brownie points with me, and even Ren.”
With Ren, too? Wow. That was unexpected.
And it also didn’t matter. “I’m glad he’s redeeming himself with you guys, but it’s…there’s nothing going on. Not anymore,” I added.
Ivy just stared at me.
“Anyway…” I drew out the word. “I just wanted to make sure that you knew you don’t have to treat me like fragile glass. If I break, then I break. There’s nothing anyone can do about that.”
Ivy held my stare, nodding. “Okay. Now it’s time for me to make sure you know something. If you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me. I know what it feels like to be held against your will. I didn’t go through what you did, but I still understand on some level.”
And she did. “I know. Thank you.”
She smiled then, and it wasn’t a weirdly forced one.
We decided that a shower came first, and then I’d eat something. She helped me to the bathroom, and even though I wanted to do it on my own, I had to lean on her for support. It wasn’t until I was stripped down, and the bathroom was filled with steam that I saw why.
I hadn’t just lost weight, I’d lost muscle mass. My legs felt like jelly and looked like tenderized meat. My reflection was no better.
Seeing myself for the first time was a shock, even though I knew it would be bad.
My hair was a matted, limp mess, slicked back from my forehead, but that looked decent compared to the rest of what was going on.
I’d been right. The left side of my face was a mess of swollen, reddish-purple hues like I had a plum shoved in the side of my mouth. The left eye was open, but it was more purple than pink, and the lid was so heavy it drooped. The right side was only marginally better, and there was a half an inch split in the center of my bottom lip.
There was a bluish band of skin around my throat.
Sucking in a sharp breath, I let my gaze drop. My shoulders and the upper part of my chest were covered in slices, as were the rises of my breasts. Aric had stopped there, moving to my stomach, but I imagined he’d planned to revisit that area.
Farther down, my flesh was a patchwork of old and new scars. Some of the fresher, redder ones would fade, but the others...
They’d be there, always. And even if they didn’t serve as a constant reminder, I would bear other scars. Deeper ones.
“Say it!”
Gasping, I jerked back from the mirror, clasping my hands over my ears. Aric’s roar was so sudden, so real, I closed my eyes.He’s not here. He’s not here.I could smell it, the roasted meat. Shudders overwhelmed me as my knees knocked together.
Nausea rolled through me, driving me to my knees. My stomach clenched, and everything I drank came back up, burning my sore throat. I stayed there, shaking as I kept telling myself that there was nothing left in me to throw up.
“Bri? You okay in there?”
Wincing, I lifted my head. “Yeah. Just…just getting in the shower.”
There was a pause. “Yell if you need me.”
“Will do,” I shouted weakly, shifting back from the toilet as damp warmth curled around me. I let my head fall back.
“I’m okay,” I whispered. “I’m going to be okay. No matter what.”
That’s what I told myself.
That’s all I could do.
Chapter 42
Showered and dressed in the soft pants and shirt Ivy had found, I was back in bed, utterly exhausted while Ivy went off in search of food.
I didn’t tell her about the puking thing because, despite the round of throwing up my guts, Iwashungry.
