I wash him as thoroughly as he washed me, my soapy hands gliding over his legs, his feet.By the time I get to his sex, his cock begins to harden again, and I freeze, realizing that my ministrations unintentionally aroused him.
He correctly interprets my reaction as fear.“Relax, my pet,” he murmurs, his voice filled with amusement.“I’m only human, you know.As delicious as you are, I need more than a few minutes to recover fully.”
I swallow and turn away, rinsing my hands under the water spray.What the hell am I doing?He hadn’t forced me to touch him.I had done it of my own accord.He’d asked, but I am pretty sure I could’ve refused and he would’ve let it slide.The dark undercurrent I’d sensed in him earlier this evening is not there now.In fact, Julian seems to be in a good mood, his manner almost playful.
I want to get out of the shower now, so I make a move to slide past him.He stops me, his arm blocking my way.
“Wait,” he says softly, tilting my chin up with his fingers.Then he bends his head and kisses me, his lips sweet and gentle on mine.A now-familiar response warms my body, making me want to rub myself against him like a cat in heat.He doesn’t let it go far, though.After about a minute, he lifts his head and smiles down at me, his blue eyes gleaming with satisfaction.“Now you can go.”
Utterly confused, I step out of the shower, dry myself off, and escape into my room as quickly as I can.
13
Nora
That nightI learn about Julian’s nightmares.
After the shower, he joins me in my bed, his muscular body curving around me from the back, one heavy arm draping over my torso.I stiffen at first, unsure of what to expect, but all he does is go to sleep while holding me close to him.I can hear the even rhythm of his breathing as I stare into the darkness, and then I gradually fall asleep too.
I wake up to a strange noise.It startles me out of deep sleep, and my eyes fly open, my heart pounding from an adrenaline surge.
What was that?For a moment, I don’t dare breathe, but then I realize that the sounds are coming from the other side of the bed—from the man sleeping beside me.
I sit up in bed and peer at him.It looks like he rolled away from me in the night, gathering all the blankets to himself.I’m completely naked and uncovered, and I actually feel a little chilly with the air-conditioning running at full blast.
The sounds escaping his throat are muffled, but there is a raw quality to them that gives me goosebumps.They remind me of an animal in pain.He’s breathing hard, almost gasping for air.
“Julian?”I say uncertainly.I don’t really know what to do in this situation.Should I wake him up?He’s clearly having a bad dream.I recall him telling me about his family, that they were all murdered, and I can’t help feeling pity for this beautiful, twisted man.
He cries out, his voice low and hoarse, and flops over onto his back, one arm hitting the pillow only a few inches away from me.
“Um, Julian?”I reach out cautiously and touch his hand.
He mumbles and turns his head, still deeply asleep.If we were anywhere but on this island, this would be the perfect moment for me to try to escape.As it stands, however, there’s really no point in going anywhere, so I just watch Julian warily, wondering if he’s going to wake up on his own or if I should try harder to wake him.
For a few moments, it seems like he’s settling down, his breathing calming a bit.Then he suddenly cries out again.
It’s a name this time.
“Maria,” he rasps out.“Maria…”
For one shocking second, I feel a hot tide of jealousy sweeping over me.Maria… He’s dreaming of another woman.
Then my rational side reasserts itself.Maria could easily be his mother or his sister—and even if she’s not, why should I care that he’s dreaming of her?It’s not like he’s my boyfriend or anything.
So I swallow and reach for him again, suppressing the residual pangs of jealousy.“Julian?”
As soon as my fingers touch his arm, he grabs me, his motions so fast and startling that only a small gasp escapes me as he pulls me toward him.His arms around me are inescapable, his embrace almost suffocating, and I can feel him shaking as he holds me tightly against him, my face pressed into his shoulder.His skin is cold and clammy with sweat, and I can hear his heart galloping in his chest.
“Maria,” he mumbles into my hair, his fingers digging into my back with such force that I’m sure there will be bruises there tomorrow.Yet somehow I don’t mind because I know he’s not doing this on purpose.He’s in the grip of his nightmare and he’s seeking comfort—and I’m the only one who can provide it right now.
After a while, I can hear his breathing easing.His arms relax a little, no longer squeezing me with such desperation, and his frantic heartbeat begins to slow.“Maria,” he whispers again, but there’s less pain in his voice now, as though he’s reliving happier times with her, whatever those may be.
I let him hold me, not moving lest I wake him from his now-peaceful rest.He’s not the only one receiving comfort here.Despite everything he’s done to me, I can’t deny that a part of me wants this from him, this feeling of closeness, of safety.He’s the only thing I have to fear; logically, I know that.It doesn’t matter, though, because right now I feel like he’s holding the darkness at bay, keeping me safe from whatever other monsters may be lurking out there.
Just as I’m keeping him safe from his nightmares.
When I wakeup the next morning, Julian is gone again.
