“You saw a doctor?”I don’t know why I’m so shocked.Maybe because he doesn’t seem like the type to go to a shrink.
He grins at me.“Yeah, for a bit.”
“Why?”
He shrugs.“Because I thought it might help.”
“Help you be less of a psychopath?”
“No, Nora.”He gives me an ironic look.“If I were a true psychopath, nothing could help that.”
“So then what?”I know I’m prying into some very personal matters, but I feel like he owes me some answers.Besides, if you can’t get personal with a man who just fucked you on the beach, then when can you?
“You’re a curious little kitten, aren’t you?”he says softly, putting his hand on my thigh.“Are you sure you really want to know, my pet?”
I nod, trying to ignore the fact that his fingers are only inches away from my bikini line.His touch is both arousing and disturbing, playing havoc with my equilibrium.
“I went to a therapist after I killed the men who murdered my family,” he says quietly, looking at me.“I thought it might help me come to terms with it.”
I stare at him blankly.“Come to terms with the fact that you killed them?”
“No,” he says.“With the fact that I wanted to kill more.”
My stomach turns over, and my skin feels like it’s crawling where Julian is touching me.He has just admitted to something so horrible that I don’t even know how to react.
As if from a distance, I hear my own voice asking, “So did it help you come to terms with it?”I sound calm, like we’re discussing nothing more tragic than the weather.
He laughs.“No, my pet, it didn’t.Doctors are useless.”
“You’ve killed more?”The numbness encasing me is fading, and I can feel myself beginning to shake.
“I have,” he says, a dark smile playing on his lips.“Now aren’t you glad you asked?”
My blood turns to ice.I know I should stop talking now, but I can’t.“Are you going to kill me?”
“No, Nora.”He sounds exasperated for a moment.“I’ve already told you that.”
I lick my dry lips.“Right.You’re just going to hurt me whenever you feel like it.”
He doesn’t deny it.Instead he gets up again and looks at me.“I’m going for a swim.You can join me if you like.”
“No, thanks,” I say dully.“I don’t feel like swimming right now.”
“Suit yourself,” he says, and then walks away, striding into the water.
Still in a state of shock, I watch his tall, broad-shouldered frame as he goes deeper into the ocean, his dark hair shining in the sun.
The devil does indeed wear a beautiful mask.
12
Nora
After Julian’srevelations on the beach, I don’t feel like asking any more questions for a while.I already knew I was being held by a monster, and what I learned today just solidifies that fact.I don’t know why he was so open with me, and that scares me.
At dinner, I mostly keep quiet, only answering questions posed directly to me.Beth is eating with us today, and the two of them are carrying on a lively conversation, mostly about the island and how she and I have been spending our time.
“So you’re bored?”Julian asks me after Beth tells him about my lack of interest in reading all the time.
