“Dad,” I say softly, looking at him, “I don’t intend to drop out of college.Even with the baby on the way, okay?Please, don’t worry about me.Truly, I’m all right.”
My dad stares at me, then at Julian, and then at me again.I wait for him to say something, but he doesn’t.Instead, he reaches for the platter with the lamb chops and pushes them toward me.“Go ahead, honey,” he says quietly.“You must be hungry after the long trip.”
I gladly take the offering, and everyone else begins loading their plates.
The rest of the dinner goes about as well as could be expected.While there are a few tense silences, the majority of the meal is spent in relatively civil conversation.My mom asks about life on the estate, and Rosa and I show her some photos on Rosa’s phone.In the meantime, my dad gets into a political discussion with Julian.To everyone’s surprise, the two of them turn out to have the same cynical views on the situation in the Middle East, though Julian’s knowledge of geopolitics far exceeds that of my dad’s.Unlike my parents, who get their news from the media, Julian is part of the news.
He shapes the news, in fact, though few outside the intelligence community know that.
I have to give my parents their due.For people who believe that Julian belongs behind bars, they are surprisingly gracious hosts.I suspect it’s because they’re afraid of losing me if they alienate Julian.My mom would dine with the devil himself if that would ensure continued contact with her only daughter, and my dad tends to follow her lead when it comes to difficult situations.
Still, they watch Julian during the meal, eying him as warily as they would observe a savage creature.He’s smiling, his potent charm turned on full-blast, but I know they can sense his ever-present aura of danger, the shadow of violence that clings to him like a dark cloak.
When we get to coffee and dessert, Julian gets an urgent text from Lucas and excuses himself to step outside for a few minutes.“It’s nothing serious,” he tells me when I give him a worried look.“Just a small business matter that needs my attention.”
He walks out of the house, and Rosa chooses that moment to visit the restroom, leaving me alone with my parents for the first time since our arrival.
“A business matter?”my dad asks incredulously as soon as Rosa is out of earshot.“At ten-thirty at night?”
I shrug.“Julian deals with people in different timezones.It’s ten in the morning somewhere.”
I can see that my dad wants to question me further, but thankfully, my mom jumps in.“Your friend is really nice,” she says, nodding toward the hallway where Rosa went.“It’s hard to believe she grew up like that.”She lowers her voice.“With criminals, I mean.”
“Yes, I know.”I wonder what my parents would think if they knew that Rosa had killed two men.“She’s wonderful.”
“Nora, honey…” My mom casts a furtive glance around the empty room, then leans forward, lowering her voice further.“I know we don’t have much time right now, but tell us one thing.Are you truly happy with him?Because now that you’re both on US soil, the FBI might be able to—”
“Mom, I can’t live without him.If anything happened to him, I’d want to die.”The stark truth escapes my lips before I can think of a gentler way to say it.I soften my tone.“I don’t expect you to understand, but he’s everything to me now.I truly love him.”
“And does he love you back?”my dad asks quietly.He looks older in this moment, aged by the sorrowful pity I see in his eyes.“Is someone like that even capable of loving you, honey?”
I open my mouth to reassure him, but for some reason, I can’t bring myself to say the words.I want to believe that in his own way Julian does love me, but there is a tiny kernel of doubt that’s always present with me.
My dad hit the nail on the head.
Is Julian capable of love?
Truthfully, I still don’t know.
16
Julian
The black Lincolnis already waiting when I step outside.
“I told them you were busy, but they insisted on this meeting,” Lucas says, melting out of the shadows near the house.“I figured it was best to let you know.”
I nod and walk over to the car.
The window in the back rolls down.“Let’s take a ride,” Frank says, unlocking the door.“We need to talk.”
I give him a hard look.“I don’t think so.If you want to talk, we’re going to do it right here.”
Frank studies me, likely wondering how much he can push me, and I see the exact moment he decides not to annoy me further.
“All right.”He climbs out of the car, his gray suit stretching across his round stomach.“If you don’t mind the nosy neighbors, sure.”
I scope out our surroundings with a practiced glance.Unfortunately, he’s right.There’s already a curtain twitching across the street.
