He looks at me, his expression unreadable once more.“No, Nora,” he says quietly.“The last thing you and I need are children.You can have all the birth control implants you want.I won’t force you to get pregnant.”
I exhale in sharp relief.“Okay, good.So then why—”
Before I can conclude the question, Julian rises to his feet, signaling an end to our discussion.“I’ll be in the main cabin,” he says evenly.“I have some work to do.Come join me when you get dressed.”
And with that, he disappears from the room, leaving me lying in bed naked and confused.
3
Julian
I’min the middle of reviewing my portfolio manager’s write-up on a potential investment when Nora quietly takes her seat next to me.Unable to resist the lure of her presence, I turn to look at her, watching as she begins reading her book.
Now that I’ve had a few minutes apart from her, the irrational need to lash out and hurt her is gone.In its place is an inexplicable sadness… an odd and unexpected sense of loss.
I don’t understand this.I didn’t lie to Nora when I said I don’t want children.I’ve never given the subject much thought, but now that I’m considering it, I can’t even imagine being a father.What would I do with a child?It would be just one more weakness for my enemies to exploit.I have no interest in babies, nor do I know how to raise them.My parents certainly weren’t role models in that regard.I should’ve been glad that Nora doesn’t want kids, but instead, when she brought up the morning-after pill, it felt like a kick to the gut.
Like a rejection of the worst kind.
I had been trying not to think about it, but seeing her wipe my seed off her thighs brought back those unwelcome emotions, reminded me that she doesn’t want this from me.
That she’ll never want this from me.
I don’t understand why that matters.I never planned to start a family with Nora.Marriage had been a way to cement our bond, nothing more.She’s my pet… my obsession and my possession.She loves me because I’ve made her love me, and I want her because she’s necessary to my existence.Children are not a part of this dynamic.
They can’t be.
Catching me looking at her, Nora gives me a tentative smile.“What are you working on?”she asks, placing her book face down on her lap.“Still the drone design?”
“No, baby.”I force myself to focus on the fact that she came for me in Tajikistan—that she loves me enough to do something so insane—and my mood begins to lift, the lingering tightness in my chest fading.
“What is it then?”she persists, and I smile involuntarily, amused by her inquisitiveness.Nora is no longer content to be on the fringes of my life; she wants to know everything, and she’s growing bolder in her quest for answers.
If this were anyone else, I’d be annoyed.With Nora, however, I don’t mind.I enjoy her curiosity.“I’m going over a prospective investment,” I explain.
She looks intrigued, so I tell her that I’m reading about a biotech startup that specializes in brain chemistry drugs.If I decide to proceed, I would be a so-called angel investor—one of the first to fund the company.Venture capital is something that’s always interested me; I like to stay on top of innovation in all kinds of fieldsand profit from it to the best of my ability.
She listens to my explanation with evident fascination, those dark eyes of hers focused on my face the entire time.I like it, the way she absorbs knowledge like a sponge.It makes it fun for me to teach her, to show her different parts of my world.The few questions she asks are insightful, showing me that she understands exactly what I’m talking about.
“If that drug can erase memories, couldn’t it be used to treat PTSD and such?”she asks after I describe to her one of the startup’s more promising products, and I agree, having arrived at the same conclusion just minutes earlier.
I hadn’t anticipated this when I kidnapped her—the sheer enjoyment I would get out of spending time with her.When I first took her, I saw her solely as a sexual object, a beautiful girl who obsessed me so much I couldn’t get her out of my thoughts.I didn’t expect her to become my companion as well as my bedmate, didn’t realize I would enjoy simplybeingwith her.
I didn’t know she would come to own me as much as I own her.
It really is for the best that she remembered to take the pill.Once we’re both healed, our life can go back to normal.
Ournormal, at least.
I will have Nora with me, and I won’t let her out of my sight ever again.
It’sdark when we land.I lead a sleepy Nora off the plane, and we get in the car to drive home.
Home.It’s strange thinking of this place as home again.It was my home when I was a child, and I hated it.I hated everything about it, from the humid heat to the pungent smell of moist jungle vegetation.Yet when I got older, I found myself drawn to places just like this—to tropical locations that reminded me of the jungle where I grew up.
It took Nora’s presence here to make me realize I didn’t hate the estate after all.This place was never the object of my hatred—it was always the person it belonged to.
My father.
